qolelis on 21/11/2017 at 15:21

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I have also never been drunk, but I have still done stupid things -- of which some could have killed or severely injured me.

heywood on 21/11/2017 at 19:35

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Entry #2:

I was hanging out on the 4th of July, in the summer between graduating from college and starting grad school. A bunch of my friends decided to go get beer for the evening, but one of my friends asked me if I had stuff to make Manhattans for the two of us. Back in those days, I used to enjoy drinking Manhattans with scotch (actually a Rob Roy, but I was ignorant then). I left and returned from my apartment and presented my friend with a fresh bottle of Dewar's, a bottle of sweet Vermouth, and a jar of cherries. But I looked around and there was no glassware! We started rummaging around and my friend, who is already one sheet to the wind, holds up to 32 oz. plastic "Big Gulp" style cups, looks at me and says "are you thinking what I'm thinking... we could make HUUUGE Manhattans". Huuuge was one of our catch phrases, I forget where from, but it wasn't Donald Trump anyway. In goes a half bottle of scotch to each cup, some ice, four cherries, followed by a half bottle of Vermouth each. That's way, way too much sweet Vermouth, but of course we had to fill the cup.

So we're parading around showing off our HUUUGE Manhattans, and before I know it, he's done, empty in a half hour. I can't remember why, I think he said it tasted bad. I'm nursing mine, going to make it last all night, but he starts to goad my other friends into making fun of me for drinking slow. So I pounded it, the whole thing, down in 10 seconds.

Sometime later I talk my friend into going to take a whiz on a college fraternity's rock, a boulder in the yard in front of their house painted with their colors and letters. One of our female friends follows along to watch us pull our wangs out. So the three of us are standing around the rock when somebody from the fraternity comes out. We take off across the street, while trying to gather our junk, and run into a park. I don't think they even gave chase, but for some reason we ended up running over to a corner of the park and scampering up a tree. Next thing I know, my friend is in his tighty whities. I can't recall why, I think maybe he couldn't shut off the flow and got them wet on the getaway, so he took them off. So we're up there, trying to convince our female friend to climb the tree, and then he falls out of the tree, into the dirt, wearing tighty-whities! The next thing I remember, some hours later, I'm at my apartment door, staggering, and having trouble getting my key into the lock.

By the following afternoon, I'm alive again, and walk back over to the house we were hanging out at the previous day. I see our female friend, she gives me a wicked look, and says "do you have any idea what you did last night?"

Kolya on 22/11/2017 at 14:13

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Chicken litter is the main ingredient in my palm fertiliser, apart from chicken feathers and chicken bones. Basically palms really love dead chickens it seems. That stuff smells awful but works really well!

nickie on 22/11/2017 at 17:01

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This is true. My mother-in-law's (when tiddly) chicken impresson is hilarious.

Yakoob on 22/11/2017 at 21:48

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Run into walls. On purpose. Running while drunk is surprisingly fun. Bouncing off walls, more so. But that was back in college and I was also pretty pudgy, so enough cushion.


embarrassing-wtf-stupid: I had a party my senior year and woke up without any memory of what happened. I got to the cafeteria, say hi to people from last night. Except those two girls which looked at me weird... ok? I sit down with my friends looking at me weird as well, so I finally ask "what?" And they respond: "dude you were a total dick to those 2 girls last night and kicked them out for no reason." Needless to say I apologized profusely and was quite surprised - it's the only time in my life I ever became angry-drunk.

brilliant drunk: Now for the opposite side, the drunkest I've ever been in my life. I was doing my study abroad in Japan when I went out with a few friends to karaoke, finally waking up in my bed with worst hang over. Wtf happened? I check my phone and, from 3 to 5am, I got about 20 messages from my friends asking where am I and if I'm ok. Wtf? I go downstairs, my host family is all acting normal. My bike is gone. Wtf???

I finally puzzled it together. When we were leaving the Karaoke place to go to another club, I realized I was too drunk and just decided to go home (of course, not telling anyone about it heh). But I was also smart enough not to ride my bike, so I left it chained and walked 40 minutes home. I found the secret key hidden in the potplant and climbed up to my bedroom on the 2nd floor without waking anybody up.

That's why I'll always trust my drunk self to get back safe heh. That hangover tho - oh lord, it lasted 2 days.