What would you... - by Medlar
Medlar on 11/8/2018 at 10:03
As we have so many old taffers buzzing about at present it could be a good time to ask the same question that Beyoncé has asked; What would you tell your 20 year old self if you could?
I would say “stick to the career you are in right now and start making babies”...
Naartjie on 11/8/2018 at 11:06
You're basically a good kid, and to an outsider things probably look good, but you're not actually making much of an effort with yourself and that's probably why you feel unhappy quite a lot of the time. You need to work much harder at university, and to get out a lot, lot more, and worry far less about being in the right relationship. That last bit will sort itself out in time - and you have no idea how lucky you're going to get. Eating an entire packet of Bourbon creams individually dipped in Nutella is an exceptionally poor choice.
Daxim on 11/8/2018 at 16:51
Stop giving so much care about (
http://enwp.org/What_Do_You_Care_What_Other_People_Think%3F) what other people think. It's poison for the mind and a waste of time. Cut down secret shame, regrets, being upset at trivialities and imagining what other people think to 5% and that's a normal level. Don't be afraid to cut off contact with toxic people; be generous with second, third, … chances.
You're doing it almost everything wrong because of your incredible ignorance; your upbringing is objectively all screwed up and a huge waste of potential. Education should have included: coming to an understanding of how people behave the way they do and how the human mind works and (
http://enwp.org/Cognitive_bias) its flaws, (
https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Westliche_Hochkultur) Western high culture, rational philosophy – but apparently that's asked too much from a workers' family and the school system at that time.
Keep up the good stuff despite what everyone else says: giving in to impulsive curiosity, (
https://xkcd.com/519/) messing with Free software and the Web, travelling and crashing at friends, sci-fi and nerdy culture.
History is nifty, but you don't know that because your only teacher sucked balls.
Find a way to skip military. It's utterly useless and you avoid a debilitating injury.
Skip university. You don't have the discipline for it and Mum doesn't know what the fuck she's talking about.
Shyness is a curse that can be overcome. Set yourself the goal and pursue it. For a big boost in confidence, get Mensa tested ASAP.
You have two more half-brothers you do not know anything about. That's not a good state of affairs.
:p Become crazy rich from perfect hindsight by learning the following technologies, investing in the following stock bonds and cryptocurrencies: …
Starker on 11/8/2018 at 16:53
Quit smoking, drink less, and start learning languages ASAP. I doubt the 20 year old me would listen, though.
Pyrian on 11/8/2018 at 17:29
"Buy stock in Google and Amazon" lol
Azaran on 11/8/2018 at 17:32
Quote Posted by Pyrian
"Buy stock in Google and Amazon" lol
"As soon as you hear about 'Bitcoins' in a few years, buy as many of those as you can"
Harvester on 11/8/2018 at 17:46
After the depression you're currently in is over, continue pursuing a programming career again ASAP. Don't wait until you're 35.
Don't carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, just be good to people in your vicinity. "Do not be overrighteous, neither be overwise—why destroy yourself?" (from the Bible).
Learn to take chances with the opposite sex within reasonable bounds.
Don't punish yourself for having dark thoughts and don't even try too hard to prevent them, just accept them when they occur, they'll pass after a while. This is key to getting out of your depression.
Stop analyzing and debating which media products (movies, shows, books, games) are good for you and which are harmful. Watch/play/read what you like. Don't watch porn though, it won't make you happy.
Stay off the Dutch autism forum and the Christian gamers forum, they take up too much time and the people there will make you feel miserable.
Visit museums more often, including modern art museums. The artworks will provoke feelings within you which you cannot express in words. This is fine, it's good for you.
Read books written in English in their original language. Watch British/US movies with English subtitles instead of Dutch. Stop frustrating yourself by getting annoyed with bad translations.
hopper on 11/8/2018 at 21:15
OK, you're a late starter, but still you're basically doing fine. You could have made more of an effort at university, but hang in there and you'll get a nice job eventually. Worry, but don't panic about the future.
Keep in touch with your friends and don't let them slowly drift away. Well, not all of them.
That thing you've long dreamed about - writing a novel, travelling around the world: Do it. Do it now or as soon as you can afford to (which, by the way, you'll be able to afford sooner than you think). Life is now. Don't wait for it to start.
Learn to code. It's an occupation that suits you and will always be in high demand. Even if you'll never work at it professionally, it may be helpful for your career.
Stay healthy and fit, and don't become a slob. But don't make it the centrepiece of your life, either. Quit smoking and go easy on the drinking.
Some of this advice I've been heeding by and large, others not so much.
Nicker on 12/8/2018 at 04:56
Pick just one of your brilliant ideas and complete it.
Also - put 10% of your earnings into savings/investments.
Also - stop buying stupid crap.
Pyrian on 12/8/2018 at 05:53
Quote Posted by Nicker
Pick just one of your brilliant ideas and complete it.
Heh. This could be me at any age TO me at any age.
