Gray on 22/3/2019 at 09:24
Yes, you are correct. I already knew that decades ago, but now, for obvious reasons, I'm paying attention a bit more to those tropes. It's a dramatic device, etc.
Gray on 22/3/2019 at 21:20
Some progress has now been made. We're currently discussing with the family where to scatter the ashes. I don't have any strong opinions on the matter, I just want it settled, and in a place I can go to.
Starker on 22/3/2019 at 23:43
Good to have some closure at least.
Gray on 22/3/2019 at 23:50
We're not there yet, it will probably be another few weeks at least, but things are moving, and I do need the closure. I can't endure our anniversary without the issue being resolved. Things are looking up, we're discussing practical details now.
june gloom on 24/3/2019 at 13:30
You know what sucks? Learning a bunch of stuff about a loved one that on the one hand explains so much about them and yet on the other hand you were probably better off not knowing.
Couldn't figure out why I've been so bummed out this weekend until just now.
Gray on 30/3/2019 at 10:35
You know, I'd agree with that, except me and my wife had no secrets. I mean, not even the embarrassing ones. We were both way too old for secrets, we spoke very plainly and directly with each other. I've never had that with anyone else. It's one of the reasons I miss her so much.
Is there a story you'd like to share, Deth?
june gloom on 30/3/2019 at 10:40
It's fairly private stuff about my mom that I'm not comfortable sharing on a forum. Basically it answers some long-standing questions I had, but at a cost.
Gray on 30/3/2019 at 10:47
Fair enough.
Gray on 30/3/2019 at 19:55
A date and a place for the ashes has been settled. That, to me, will be some kind of closure. Finally, we're coming together as a family to discuss the painful difficult things. It's like tearing at an open wound, and pouring some salt in it, and then beating it with a stick just for good measure, but we needed to have this discussion and we've made a decision. I'm actually quite proud of my stepkids for stepping up to the plate and handling it well. Better than I could. I bet they get their smarts from their mother.
[Edit]
I realise of course this is completely uninteresting to everybody else. I'm just relating it for reference, if you should ever find yourself in a similar situation. Even very difficult things can be talked through and agreed upon. You just have to struggle through the pain and deal with it, and in the process, some people close to you might surprise you in a good way with strengths you didn't know they had.
[Edit again]
That was not a Brexit metaphor, it just accidently looks like one. Sorry about that, it was a more personal matter. Almost everything I say now is Brexity, this was not it.
Tocky on 31/3/2019 at 02:25
I used to say I wanted my ashes mixed in some really good Colombian gold and smoked by all my friends. That way they could say how good I was ever after without lying. These days I think being a time capsule for future archaeologists would be better. I also would like to set it up so that they could call my phone and get a personal message from me for a bit. This is Tocky, I can't come to the phone right now... or ever... leave a message. And then have it so that they get a call back from me with my message. One last joke for some like "having a wonderful time, wish you were here" and others something sentimental. Not sure if that would help or hurt but the idea of it makes me laugh. Anyway, I'm glad you are getting the last of the details done. Whatever helps you heal.