What is to be done with my remains. - by doctorfrog
doctorfrog on 13/2/2006 at 06:04
In accordance with my current wishes, inebriated though they may be, it is my Solemn and Pure wish that my Body, once the Soul has evacuated its disappointing Housing, is to be subject to Flames until it is rendered unto Ashes.
Once the body has been reduced to ashes, the remains are to be mingled with a half a can of coffee. The brand doesn't really matter, whatever is on sale at the time is fine. I was merely a man of adequate needs, and adequate beans suit the purpose adequately. Yuban, Maxwell House, and so forth, though "Chock Full o' Nuts" is entirely appropriate on multiple levels.
Once mingled, coffee is to be distilled from said remains and ingested by the mourner(s). Optionally, the resultant mixture may be desposited into a garden somewhere, where the byproduct of those ashes, whatsoever plant might spring forth from my remains (and coffee grindings), must instead be devoured by the mourner(s) in one fashion or another: teas, extracts, the consuming of vegetables sprung forth, etc. One thing must be made entirely clear, that at some point you must EAT ME.
My regards to any survivors. My enemies list may be found in the usual place, go ahead an avenge me or whatever, it is "all good."
...
This is my version of a drunken post.
I embrace the community.
What do you want done with YOUR body after you die?
Swiss Mercenary on 13/2/2006 at 06:24
Throw me in a ditch. I'm not really going to give a damn, am I?
DarkViper on 13/2/2006 at 06:26
This reminds me of that episode of South Park where Cartman mixes Kenny's ashes into milk, thinking it was chocolate milk powder. He ended up liking it, but then saw visions of Kenny quite frequently.
I think my Living Will has me down for the ashes thing. Think that's the cheapest one. Aside from leaving family members with less of the money set aside for them due to coffin expenses, I really don't care what happens to me.
aguywhoplaysthief on 13/2/2006 at 06:27
You have fantastic drunken spelling.
doctorfrog on 13/2/2006 at 06:48
Drunker I get, better I type.
Not true, actually, there's a plateau. But I know the plateau, and I respect it. RESPECT THE PLATEAU.
Gingerbread Man on 13/2/2006 at 06:55
I'm willing my remains to Dave, provided that he puts my corpse behind the wheel of a Maserati MC12 at the top of a ski jump positioned so that the landing hits square on the deck of a flaming Viking longship moored in Portsmouth Harbour.
This will all be filmed from high atop the Spinnaker Tower, and the video broadcast into deep space for the aliens to cheer at.
David on 13/2/2006 at 07:19
Only if I can draw comedy glasses on you with a big fat marker pen first.
As for me, when I'm dead they might as well take all my organs and pretty much anything else they think might be useful. Whatever's left, burn it.
Either that or a full-blown funeral in an especially ropey coffin that will fall apart as it is being carried. That'd amuse me no end :D
Goblin on 13/2/2006 at 08:53
Mummification. I'm planning to be on this earth for a damn long time. Some of which I'll spend alive, presumably.
Spitter on 13/2/2006 at 09:00
Can I have your PC?
Vasquez on 13/2/2006 at 10:02
Quote Posted by Swiss Mercenary
Throw me in a ditch. I'm not really going to give a damn, am I?
Same here. But if anyone has a need for a well-used liver or other organs, dig those out first.
Just make sure I'm really dead first!
