fett on 9/5/2007 at 15:08

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If you haven't tried this guild yet, my advice would be not to waste your time. This is without question the most buggy, unfinished slop I've ever seen in a game - literally.

Before I list all the bugs, let me also say that these are POST patch (in other words Bethesda did fuck all to fix them even though they knew about them), and are also documented in the Thieve's Guild Wiki. I've also noticed by doing a search on the Elder Scrolls forum that there are a disproportionate number of posts about these issues, and most are never resolved by command line inputs.

1) "Independent Thievery" - an ongoing quest in the Thieve's Guild which requires you to steal and sell increasing amounts of goods to different fences. The more stolen goods you sell, the more access you have to higher level fences. Fair enough. EXCEPT that you're never told you have to sell to them in the order they are available and if you sell too much to a lower level fence, it fucks up the remaining TG quests, or more painfully, it fucks up the very last quest and you don't realize it until it's too late. I apparently skipped one of the fences along the way (who still hasn't shown up on the map anywhere) but since higher level fences were accessible at the time, I just started using them. Now I'm screwed. Btw - you can sell fences goods that aren't stolen and it counts toward your total fenced items. What's the point of being a thief if I can just sell fences stuff I got from a goblin cave? Somebody at Bethesday needs to play Thief. Or at least read about ityou dumbfucks.

2) "The Grey Fox" - a quest crucial document is left laying at the exit to an earlier quest. But if you read it (as you obviously will), don't talk to the Grey Fox about it (even though it appears on his conversation tree) or it fucks up the remaining TG quests. There's a supposed command line fix for this, but it hardly ever actually works, especially if you've already fucked up the Independent Thievery quest because of missing or disappearing fences. As a matter of fact, be careful when and where you talk to the Grey Fox because one unknowing misstep and you've blown it. He just stands there and says, "Not now - I'm thinking!" Yeah? Well think on this you sorry ass excuse for a thief -what if I slit your fucking throat? Oh, I can't, because he's marked essential. Come to think of it, what kind of Thief Lord sits in a fucking cabin all day long with his dogs? Get a real character Bethesda - the Grey Fox sucks. Oh yeah - and if your quest screen says the Grey Fox is in Chenydenal, he might actually be in Chorral. Or Bravil. Or somewhere else. Guess. No really. It's called 'emergent AI' and it's FUN! like repeatedly sticking your penis in a garbage disposal. Which is actually less painful than trying to figure out how to get this NPC to work correctly

3) Amusei - this little Argonian fucker needs to die. He's responsible for delivering messages to you from the Grey Fox concerning several quests. Instead of interrupting you (like other messenger NPC's) in the middle of murders, childbirths, sex, stealing, etc. in the far fucking reaches of Tamriel, Bethesda has this little forked tongued bastard travel at normal speed. So he basically wanders around Imperial Bigasfuckingnewyork City in real time looking for you. And if you fast travel, he actually FOLLOWS YOU to each location trying to catch up. Brilliant as a mud fence. So you end up either standing in one place until your prostate shrivels, or wandering around the city looking for him. That's if his lazy ass isn't asleep down at the waterfront, where I eventually found him, only to find that he had no message. Or sometimes he accidentally ends up in jail somewhere. Or he's in Chorral when he's supposed to be in the Imperial City. Fuck you Amusei, fuck you and the programmer you rode in on.

4) The Ultimate Heist - the mysterious and truly climactic last quest for the Thieves Guild. I'd like to tell you about it, but I can't because I said the wrong thing to the Grey Fox, or sold the wrong thing to the wrong person at the wrong time. Or something. But I've read about it and guess what? There's more information on it's bugs and glitches in both the wiki and the forums than there is information about how cool it is. Don't sit on the stool! Don't talk to anyone while standing in that room! Don't pick up the scroll with your left eye closed! Don't pick the lock if you have an erection! On and fucking on and fucking on.

Fuck you Bethesda. You've got a cool game, but the main reason I wanted to play it was for the Thief aspects which you've proven to know nothing about, and actually make little more than a bad waste of time. You didn't even fix this stuff in the patch which tells me as far as you're concerned, I can fuck off. And I will - no expansion packs for me, and I'm selling this bloated piece of shit to the lowest bidder. With all due respect and great admiration, the LGS people who worked on this are an embarrassment to the legacy of Looking Glass. :mad: :mad: :mad: :erg: :tsktsk: :tsktsk:

fett on 9/5/2007 at 18:36

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Yeah - and I hate people like you. ;)

I think it's near the exit of the grotto after you get the boots of Springheel Jack - it's a diary entry or something. It shows up in his tree the very next time you talk to him, and it seems obvious that you should ask him about it, but if you do, it keeps the next (and incidentally, last) quest from triggering I guess (according to all that I'm reading in the forums and on the wiki). There's a command line entry - setstage TG10blahblah - that doesn't seem to work either.

Jason Moyer on 9/5/2007 at 20:46

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Here are links to the unofficial patches if you'd like to give them a try.

(http://www.baldurdash.org/TESOblivion/TESOblivion.html)

I've found a few leftover bugs in Shivering Isles re: undroppable quest items, but other than that I haven't had a problem with any of the 3 UO patches in 200-ish hours of gameplay.

Jason Moyer on 9/5/2007 at 21:38

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I installed all 3 about 170 hours into a game, and didn't notice a problem. I think there are a few things that won't be activated unless you start a new game, but the bugfixes I'm most aware of seem to work fine. Just make sure you have everything patched up to the latest official versions first.

fett on 10/5/2007 at 02:08

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It's always safe to assume that. What specifically do I hate you for? It all blurs together after awhile. ;)