SD on 27/6/2007 at 17:21
I just had a phone call in work off a mate of mine who's in a bit of a state.
The situation is this: his ex-girlfriend has been staying with him for a few weeks, having lost her job as a lawyer on what appear to be trumped up grounds.
Now his mother has finally taken exception to this, and he's begging me to put her up for "a week or so". Sprung on me just half an hour ago, but I don't mind, as she's a nice girl, or at least was the last time I saw her.
My mate has only just returned to work after a 7 or 8 month sabbatical, which may or may not be related to his father passing away and various problems with substance addiction, so I'm loath to do anything that will upset his applecart further.
Anyway, it looks as though I have an unexpected house guest for the next week. Which has all come as a bit of a shock to me, so I figured I'd throw this one open to the floor; has anyone been in this situation before? Is "a week or so" likely to turn into months? Are there any precautions or special steps I need to take here? Am I going to have my house ripped apart by lunatics? All advice is greatly welcomed!
Gingerbread Man on 27/6/2007 at 17:29
You might want to make sure you don't suddenly have two houseguests, because it sounds to me like his mum's not keen on your friend having a live-in girlfriend so they might decide it's better vibes to hang out at her new (ie your) place most of the time. Which could be good -- extra hands to cook and clean and chip in for movies and heroin. Assuming you like heroin, that is. Because some people don't, and that just gets awkward.
Ulukai on 27/6/2007 at 17:38
A man's home is his castle. In my castle, there's rules and you follow them or you packs your bags!
Make sure when she arrives she knows that you're in charge, and do this by making her take her shoes off on the doorstep. This may also mark you as being obsessive, but hey, you don't want her hanging around.
Possibly, depending on whether she really is nice and not manipulative, you also need to be seen as "Authoritative and slightly strange father figure" and not "Malleable single man who may or may not want to have sex with me".
LesserFollies on 27/6/2007 at 17:42
Quote Posted by SD
Is "a week or so" likely to turn into months?
I've had it go both ways. It depends on the character of the person staying with you. I think you can basically trust most people to do the right thing, but if she/they don't, you can always change a few things here and there and make it a less comfortable place to stay.
edited: to remove some dead ants and get rid of a smiley that grated.
Vasquez on 27/6/2007 at 17:58
Why doesn't she stay with her own parents?
jasee on 27/6/2007 at 18:01
Dont do it!!
I could bore you for ages with my own experiences with this sort of thing.
I will just say though that a 'week' is very rarely just a week, and no matter how well you think you know someone, you dont - until they live with you (but you know that cos you aint a dumbass).
A million things could go wrong - you go out to work, she may be home all day - you tidy up before you go to work, and come home to a shit hole, etc, etc - it will annoy you after a while, along with a million other things.
If you do let her stay, may I suggest you set some rules down before she moves in (length of stay, tidying up, friends visiting, etc) - cos that's something I didn't do - and fuck me did I regret it.
I aint very good at giving advice, but trust me, I have been in this situation ONCE before - it wont happen again.
But saying that, you know her, I dont, so it could be cool for you, but I still think you should lay down some rules before she steps through your door;)
ha ha, I told you aint very good at giving advice:laff:
jasee
theBlackman on 27/6/2007 at 18:24
Not a good idea, for a lot of reasons, some already expressed.
She should have a girlfriend or parents she can stay with. If she is that hard to get along with that none of them will have her, you certainly don't want her.
Or your friend could give up the party weekends and beer and put her in a motel room.
And if she does have a girlfriend or two, why doesn't she, or your "mate", put her with one of them?
I strongly recommend you pass on this one.
aguywhoplaysthief on 27/6/2007 at 18:32
A friend's ex-girlfriend isn't near close enough of a relation to give them access to your home.
And anyways, if she was a lawyer, she should have plenty of money banging about to pay for one of those by-the-week hotels.
Rug Burn Junky on 27/6/2007 at 19:22
Quote:
And anyways, if she was a lawyer, she should have plenty of money banging about to pay for one of those by-the-week hotels.
You shitting me?
Between the student loans and the spendthrift lifestyle of most young lawyers, (especially those silly enough to be dating a guy who lives at home with his mom), if you get canned, the house of cards crumbles very quickly*.
I'm gonna say this raises a LOT of red flags, and pretty much foresee nothing but trouble.
Of course, that wouldn't stop me. I love that drama shit. I vote that you get her drunk and try to bang her by the second night.
Serious answer: I'd only do it with CLEAR ground rules, and only if you truly, really, truly, really, value the guy's friendship and trust him on some visceral level. This is a situation where you could very easily see yourself as a doormat. Don't let that happen.
*My big fear of getting fired stems from the fact that I know I'll be living in my parents' shed within two weeks if I don't land on my feet.
Scots Taffer on 27/6/2007 at 19:35
(
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GMVrwl9FmII) Then there's the towels. White for hands, brown for feet, green for torso, thighs and seat. And in the cupboard beneath the stair...
...you'll find the red for pubic hair.
Now, for a few words on the subject of onanism.
