AR Master on 17/5/2006 at 23:08

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Come play Unemployment Adventures! The first real life unemployment simulator! It's just like being unemployed from the comfort of your own home!

Unemployment Adventures
Build 2.3 v1.0
05.17.2006
Distributed by Broken Dreams and Crushed Souls Corp



You wake up in a small yet somehow expensive apartment. Clothes are strewn around, it is dark and the walls are bare. The clock next to your head says "06:42" and you can hear sirens somewhere off in the distance.

>> Fall out of bed

You fall out of bed and get to your feet. Your legs scream in agony. Your sprained knee apparently has not healed.

>> Go to kitchen

The kitchen is defined by a small metal rack and a red table. The sink is filled with soiled dishes and the counter is dirty with crumbs. A heating element is unplugged and stained. There is a stainless steel bowl filled with green bananas on the table and an empty jar of peanut butter beside them.

>> Eat breakfast

What do you want to eat?

>> Anything

I don't understand "anything".

>> eat banana

You consume a green-skinned banana and throw the peel in the red garbage can near the door. It bounces off the top of the pile and lands on the floor.

>> Go to bathroom

The smell of bleach and cleaning solution fills your nostrils. Damp towels litter the floor here. There is a spot of blood on the toilet.

>> pee

You feel better already!

>> Shower

A warm rush of hard water flows through the calcium-encrusted showerhead. You step into the bathtub and close the curtain. Ten minutes of lathering and rinsing leave you fresh smelling, red and awake.

>> Enter living room

You're in the living room which is essentially the part of your apartment where the bed isn't. Clothes cover the floor, as well as some bits of string. A screwdriver lays near your desk where your laptop is idling. The answering machine has 2 new messages.

>> Check messages

The messages play as follows:

"Hi, this is Carrie from ABC Boxes. Unfortunately we have to cancel your interview for today as the position you applied for has just been filled. Thank you anyway for your interest."

"Hi, this is Jim from NPC Security. I have your resume here and would like to meet for an interview. If you can make it on Wednesday at 13:00, we're located at the Northeast corner of the airport."

Beep.


>> list

You're currently naked, dripping wet and in need of a shave. You have no items.

>> Look around

You're standing in a sty of your own filth just like your mother said you would if you didn't clean up regularily. Your watch is by your bed and your clothes are strewn about the room. Your wallet is on the counter. There is a pen on the desk and a transit map on the table.

>> take map

You pick up the map.

>> Find NPC Security

It's not on the map.

>> find airpost

It's not on the map.

>> find airport

The London International Airport is located on square Q 15 on the Northeast corner of the city. Buses do not run to the airport but one comes within 6 kilometers of it.

>> find apartment

You are located at square B 2.

>> ffff

I don't understand "ffff".

>>wait

Time passes.

>> get dressed

What do you want to get dressed with?

>> interview clothes

I don't understand "interview clothes".

>> nice clothes

I don't understand "nice clothes".

>> clean clothes

I don't understand "clean clothes".

>> sack

You find and put on a sack. You pocket your wallet and put on your watch.

>> List

You're wearing what you can make due with. You're dry, in need of a shave and a haircut. You have a wallet, a buspass and you're wearing a Swiss Army watch.

>> wallet

What do you want to do with the wallet?

>> examine

Your wallet contains your driver's license, your birth certificate, a student card, and $0.83.

>> call friend

You dial your friend. She's groggy, disgruntled and definitely cannot give you a ride to the airport because her Volvo is broken. She hangs up.

>> curse krauts

The Volvo is a Scandinavian vehicle.

>> find keys

Your keys are hanging up by the door.

>> take keys

You take your apartment keys.

>> Exit

You leave through the only door in or out of your apartment and lock it. You're standing in a hallway lined with doors. There is an exit sign to your left and a decorative plant to your right.

>> kick plant

You stub your toe on the plant

>> exit left

You're now outside. Local time and temperature is 09:45 and 18C. Some haggardly looking people eye you and smoke. A firetruck passes with its sirens blaring.

You're likely to be mugged by a criminal.

>> north

You head north through the backalleys and one way streets. The only location you're familiar with north within walking distance is the library.

>> Enter library

You're now in the library. Shelves and shelves of books overwhelm you, quiet people mill about and some people at the computers tap away at the keyboards diligently.


>> go to computers

You sit at the one vacant terminal. On screen is a website called "The Jobbank." It appears to be a listing of jobs within London

>> search for jobs

Your quiery yielded 0 results.

>> exit library

You're outside on Main Street. The sun is shining and people wander about in the blissful state of employment. An ambulance zips by with its sirens blaring.

You're likely to be mugged by a drug user.

>> west

You head west down Main Street until you reach a bus terminal.

>> wait

Time passes.

Time passes.

Time passes.

Time passes.

Time passes.

Time passes.

The bus arrives and goes right on by you.


>> ffffffffffffff

I don't understand "ffffffffffffff".

>> wait

Time passes.

Time passes.

Time passes.

Time passes.

Time passes.

Time passes.

Another bus arrives, this one stopping. A police car passes it, its sirens blaring.

>> get on bus

You flash the driver your busspass and find a seat near the window.

>> List

You're a sight for sore eyes. You have a wallet, a busspass, and you're wearing a Swiss Army watch.

>> examine watch

It's 11:34 and the 17th of whatever month it is.

>> wait

Time passes.

Eventually the bus arrives at its final stop and you disembark. You're on a stretch of road with no end in sight. The road is under construction and the only scenery is automotive plants.

>> Examine wahtc

You don't have a "wahtc"

>> examine watch

It's 12:09 and the 17th of whatever month it is.

>> find airport

The airport is about 6 kilometers away.

>> math

You have 51 minutes to arrive at a destination 6 kilometers away. You need to travel at about 118 meters a minute.

>> stats

You're 6', pale and dark hair. You weigh 220lbs, your sign is Scorpio and with your knee you can move up to about 70 meters a minute if you're willing.

>> fffffffffffff

I don't understand "fffffffffffff".

>> walk north

You head north along the road. Construction is impeding your progress and you're toeing the line between big rigs and a ditch. The airport is nowhere in sight.

>> Hitchhike

You stick out your thumb but nobody slows down. In fact, traffic seems to move a bit faster.

>> north

Time passes.

Time passes.

Time passes.

You arrive at the airport, covered in sweat and your knee is shaking involuntarily. A plane passes overhead with its sirens blaring.

>> examine watch

It's 13:03 and the 17th of whatever month it is.

>> fuck

I don't understand "fuck".

>> northeast

You head in a northeast direction away from the airport. You march through fields of dandilions, gutters lining the roads and tarmac.

>> look

You're standing in a parking lot. There is a small building labelled "NPC" a hundred yards to your left, a few parked airplanes and a bunch of vehicles.

>> go to NPC

You enter NPC. The lobby is modest, cool, and empty.

>> examine watch

It's 13:09 and the 17th of whatever month it is.

>> wait

Time passes.

A young, cute blonde receptionist comes from behind a door and is surprised that you're there. She asks if she can help you in a Russian accent.

>> security

Security isn't here.

>> security help

Security isn't here to help.

>> job

You're unemployed.

>> wtf

I don't understand "wtf".

>> interview

You mention your interview to the receptionist. She seems surprised still and looks down at her calendar. She looks back up and mentions that the director just stepped out for lunch a few minutes ago.

>> FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

I don't understand "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF".

>> wait

You take a seat in one of the lobby chairs and read a magazine about expensive hotels and timeshare airplanes. Time passes.

Time passes.

Time passes.

>> examine watch

It's 15:43 and the 17th of whatever month it is.

>> exit

You exit NPC and are staring at an empty field. A bird flies by and makes a sound like a siren.

>> south

You begin walking south at a slow pace, your knee having difficulty supporting you. You are likely to be mugged by a child.

Time passes.

A red sports car drives up beside you and honks. Inside is the blonde Russian girl. She is offering you a ride.

>> Get in car

You get in and are ferried away back towards downtown. Spritied conversation reveals she lives there anyway and the office was closing so she was on her way home. You find that she is a recent graduate from your school.

Time passes.

She lets you off near the library but slips you some paper before she drives off.

>> list

You're a waste. You have a wallet, a busspass, a Swiss Army watch and a piece of paper.

>> examine paper

It has the girl's phone number on it.

>> score

I don't understand "score".

>> enter library, search jobbank

There are 0 jobs.

>> go to apartment

You walk south to your apartment. A police car with its sirens blaring flies by chasing a speeding ambulance whose sirens are also blaring. They are followed by a parade bearing the banner "100 years of emergency services sponsored by DeDe's Siren Emporium", their sirens blaring. You are likely to be mugged by a priest.

You enter your apartment.

>> look

Your filth hasn't cleaned itself. It's darker now because your lightbulb has died. Your bananas are now black. You have 1 new message.

>> play message

The message plays as follows:

"Hi, this is Jen from CWT Security. I have your resume here and would like to call you in for an interview. We're located in Ottawa, so give us a call to set up an appointment. This is regarding work in Regina."

Beep.


>>fff

I don't understand "fff".

>> sleep

Time passes.

ignatios on 17/5/2006 at 23:27

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had me lollin'

TTK12G3 on 17/5/2006 at 23:32

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How unfortunate.

Parker'sSire on 18/5/2006 at 00:18

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Great job, AR Master.

God, that's funny.
That just made me break out the old Zork files.

Gorgonseye on 18/5/2006 at 00:30

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Wonder how long this thread can last.......the adventures of unemployment......