SubJeff on 25/6/2009 at 15:20
Oh not that tired old argument again. So boring and ignorant.
Scots Taffer on 25/6/2009 at 23:06
okay that's it, I'm devoting the rest of my life to producing a piece of art so that my opinion has some validity
Pyrian on 25/6/2009 at 23:18
Quote Posted by Stitch
...and proceeded to roll out sex appeal by the yard.
You say that like it's a bad thing. :D
Renzatic on 26/6/2009 at 02:37
I went to see this tonight. My opinion? Well, I love me some Transformers. Used to watch them religiously back in the day. Even had my own Optimus Prime toy with the weird little dark blue vehicle in the trailer. Damn, I loved that thing. So to get down to the point, saying that I hated it feels like I'm betraying my old childhood love. But yeah, I hated it. And you know why I hated it? Well...
...okay, imagine if you will, some guy dumping 100,000 junk cars off the edge of the Grand Canyon while listening to some drunk frat kids sing Gregorian chants. That's the soundtrack. Now imagine a slideshow of 100,000 different pictures of CGI robots cycling at about 1 pic per second. That's the cinematography. Now about every 20 minutes or so, they guy quits dumping cars off the side of the canyon so a cheesy group of improv actors from the local community college can make pot brownie jokes and show off some cute chicks nice rack THAT NEVER GET NAKED ONCE OH GOD BLUE BALLS ow ow ow before once again commencing with the dumping of cars and quick cut slideshow. This...THIS...is the new Transformers. It isn't a movie, it's fucking screeching white noise set to random images of robots and Sheeah Leboof.
But I know a few people will say "but hey, it's a dumb summer action flick. It isn't supposed to have a plot", to which I'll reply with a smary eye roll and an obnoxious know-it-all sneer. Dumb summer action flicks can be good, too. Ever seen Die Hard? Any of the first three Indiana Jones movies? The Fifth Element? Those were dumb summer action flicks, but they were also good movies. Maybe even great movies. Two and a half hours of this shit is just...I...I...I dunno. I'm sure somewhere out there, some poor guy in some 3rd world reeducation camp is being forced to watch something similar to break his spirit.
There is no excuse for this. None. The only way Michael Bay will make this up to me is to redo the 80's Transformers animated movie shot by shot. And he has to keep the hair metal soundtrack.
Edit: Hell, even your regular dumb witless action flick is light years better than this steaming pile. Take Taken for instance. That movie was basically half an hour of cheese followed by another hour of Liam Neeson killing people efficiently. Nothing too memorable about it, but I still enjoyed it for what it was. You know what made it better than Transformers 2? I COULD TELL WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON!
Scots Taffer on 26/6/2009 at 03:11
Hahaha, Taken was one of the ugliest pieces of racist daddy-empowerment-porn fear-mongering bullshit I've ever seen.
That said, I couldn't help but LOVE Neeson in it and the scene where he confronts the guy who kidnapped his daughter in a room full of armed thugs when he's pretending to be a corrupt police commissioner and just goes nuts and attacks everyone was so awesome.
Renzatic on 26/6/2009 at 03:29
Liam Neeson was really the only redeeming factor of the entire movie. Good actors can make even the most flat and boring movies into something entertaining, which is exactly what he did with Taken. Without him in the lead, it would've been a complete waste of an hour and a half.
Also, I don't think I read quite as much into it as you did. I mean damn, son. I thought it was a goofy action flick. Nothing more. Now I'm seeing it in a whole new, much more sinister, light.
fett on 26/6/2009 at 03:32
I enjoyed Taken too, but yeah, mainly because of Neeson. Same reason I can tolerate the Phantom Menace occasionally.
Queue on 26/6/2009 at 03:36
It wasn't high art, but Taken was a helluva lot of fun, and problably touched upon a nerve by being the secret pleasure of every parent to watch those that would do harm to children suffer horribly. No one made it out alive. Awesome!
Scots Taffer on 26/6/2009 at 03:50
Quote Posted by Renzatic
Also, I don't think I read quite as much into it as you did. I mean damn, son. I thought it was a goofy action flick. Nothing more. Now I'm seeing it in a whole new, much more sinister, light.
I mean it had:
- Young girls cannot handle themselves, they are all stupid and ignore their father's advice at THEIR PERIL
- Europe is full of corrupt officials, bent cops, prostitutes, pimps, drug dealers and murdering people-traffickers
- Middle Eastern ISLAMICS are rich, surrounded by armed guards and want your daughter as part of their harem and will be pay millions of dollars for her viginity and die to keep her
- The very idea that Daddy's little girl is still a virgin in itself is playing right into the Daddy fantasy
- Daddy can and WILL fuck up everyone that messes with his little girl (if he's American)
I mean, maybe I was just tired and overthinking it but goddamn that movie was terrible.
Queue on 26/6/2009 at 03:53
Well phooey. Scots just took the fun out of it.
...but then again, I grew up on Gilligan's Island, so I'm allowed to like utter shit.
