qolelis on 23/2/2019 at 17:15
Quote Posted by Tocky
Well shit. I guess it was just a tease huh qolelis?
I lost my momentum... :(
I could tell you about one of the times I was out skiing (cross-country):
While I was still living with my parents I often went out skiing in the woods surrounding the town I grew up in. When I was too young to go alone, the whole family often went, but as I grew older, I most oftenly went on my own. My dad and I still ski together on occasion (when the increasingly milder winters allow it), which are cherished memories, but, as he's getting older, these shared trips are getting fewer.
This particular time I arrived at an oblong opening in the woods. Some hundred meters away, in the other end of the opening, I saw two guys. I couldn't see what they were doing and ignored them, passing the opening unnoticed. The trees soon grew denser on the other side, though, so I decided to go back the way I came. Back at the opening I passed a small hut with darkened windows and something sticking out of one of them. The two guys from before were gone. I didn't pay much attention and passed the opening again.
Worth noticing is that I hardly ever saw anyone on these trips. Skiing wasn't unheard of, but if people did it, they went dressed in spandex, doing a couple of rounds, and then went home again. Going off-trail like I did -- way off -- was my thing alone. I was used to being on my own -- expected it even -- and often stayed out the whole day, sometimes even until it was too dark to see. One could even say I went on these trips to get away from people, so when the two guys were gone, things just went back to normal and I was happy that everything was quiet again. The guy calling me from behind wasn't as happy, though. He seemed slighty upset. Apparently I could have died that day. Fool's luck I didn't.
Tocky on 24/2/2019 at 04:17
The oblong clearing was a grave? The thing sticking out of the window was a gun? You didn't notice the house the first time you passed? The guy was chasing you? Lots of intimations but I'm not clear on what happened. Maybe you aren't either?
Aja on 28/2/2019 at 22:29
You've got some interesting stories, Tocky. I had ignored the thread till now, but today I spent most of my lunch break skimming and reading selected entries (mostly the sex ones, I admit). Part of the reason that you're not getting more audience participation I think is that your audience is, by and large, I'm sure, not as outgoing as you, and reading other people's exploits tends to make the introverted among us feel as though we haven't really lived. In fact, that has been a persistent vague source of anxiety for me, the idea that I haven't had the kinds of experiences I ought to. In my weaker moments it sometimes gets to me, but I think the truth is closer to what you say, that we all do live interesting lives, and the secret is to just recognize it. So while I haven't slept with scores of women or taken LSD (uh oh, anxiety rising), I've actually had a lot of great moments in my life, and I treasure those memories. But this brings us to what I think is the bigger problem:
I'm terrible at relating them.
I'm not at all a practiced storyteller, and while I think some of those moments could be interesting stories, they probably wouldn't come out that way if I told them now. But reading through your life has inspired me to start writing more. Maybe with a little practice I'll gain the confidence to contribute here.
In the meantime, I'm curious to know (apologies if you explained this already) how many of these tales you've told your wife. You mentioned at one point that you've had to keep them to yourself, but surely she's aware of them?
Tocky on 1/3/2019 at 04:45
Woah, I've not slept with scores. Maybe scorish. How much is a score? I'm near certain it's under twenty. It's not quantity anyway. Not with anything in life. And it's your life. Not for me or anyone else to judge.
As for the storytelling, well I grew up among storytellers so that helps. Just try to pare things down to how you felt and what you did and how what you felt made what you did happen. That works best for me.
I've told my wife some but I stay away from the ones involving other women. If you tell one to a small group and look around and everyone is laughing except your wife then it's not worth telling. I've told various ones to various folks for various reasons but here at TTLG is where I've told the most to one group. When I'm with this friend or that we tend to tell each other those we are both in or those that involve the people we both know. I even find out things that fit in with my own view of a particular story that way and give me insights as to what everything was about sometimes.
I'm glad my stories have inspired you to get yours in order and I will wait as patiently as I can. No, seriously, if you write them down for nobody but you that is a good thing. It's a kind of therapy to figure things out that happened by putting them in order and filling in the details till you understand yourself. I bet others would find it interesting though. Work on getting all the details down though. Don't skimp or skip over things. That is most folks story telling problem. It isn't mine. Mine is cutting things down to make them readable in a digestible block.
curseofnight on 6/3/2019 at 01:16
Quote Posted by Tocky
That isn't a story, it's a dirty joke.
Oh god, don't tell me there are some undertones I'm missing here, lol. I couldn't picture my grandma telling me a dirty joke. She had just had a lot of silly jokes and stories.
She was born and raised in a little place called Cow Tail, which is on a back road about 50 miles east of where I live. She told me about the first time she went to the drive-in. She said it wasn't a drive-in like you see in the movies though; she and all her friends from school would go to her neighbors barn on the weekends and sit on hay stacks and watch movies on a projection set the fellow's son had. That was the movie theater in Cow Tail, lol.
You won't find Cow Tail on a map, it's just the name the locals gave to their little strech of highway. For intance, people call where I live Midway, because is supposedly about midway between Charleston, S.C. and Augusta, G.A.
Tocky on 6/3/2019 at 02:39
It is one of the first jokes kids tell. You are supposed to pull them in with "do you want to hear a dirty joke?" and then let them down with "a white horse fell into a mud puddle". Even as a kid I never found it funny. It's one where the teller is supposed to get the laugh but on either end I just found it lame. Maybe I liked real dirty jokes.
I love those little snippets out of the lives of old folks. It really gives a perspective we can never reach nor will ever fully understand because you had to be there. It's like hearing of life on another planet told by a familiar and sweet old soul on your own. Many interesting insights to be had in them too. Could be I'll tell of the time my great grandfather got shot back in the rough and tumble days but not just now.
demagogue on 7/3/2019 at 06:54
I'll tell you my favorite joke from my grandparents from their childhood... It really brought their era alive to me.
So they're from southern Oklahoma and grew up in the depression / dustbowl era, when the joke takes place.
A woman was walking home one day after a particularly bad dust storm and saw a cowboy hat lying on the ground. She thought it must have blown off somebody so she went to get it. But when she picked it up, she was surprised to see there was the head of a cowboy underneath it. She gave out a yelp and asked the head, "Oh! Are you alright?" The cowboy replied in his measured drawl, shaking his head, "Oh, ah'll be alright. Can't say the same for mah horse though."
Tocky on 9/3/2019 at 04:23
That's a good one. It gives you a sense of their humor even in dire times. That generation had it harder than we can imagine and bore it better than I can imagine us doing.
The only joke I can remember, and my dad told plenty but I can't recall them, is this one: A farmer was taking his load of corn to the grist mill (see how old it is?) and passed a man starving on the side of the road. Taking pity on him he reigned in his horse and asked the fellow if he would like some corn to help him out. "Is is shucked?", the man asked. "Well... no", the farmer replied. "Then drive on", said the man. Not a particularly funny one but it gives you a sense of what they thought of the value of work and the value of those who won't do it. There were a lot better ones told over the fence to our neighbor Mr. Hall some evenings after work but I have trouble recalling them. I recall Mr Hall took it hard when dad died, bless him.
Okay, here is one. A man was driving his horse past a preachers field when he spied the prettiest horse he had ever seen. It must have been twenty hands high. He knocked on the door and offered the preacher twice the going rate but the preacher wouldn't sell. "That's a special horse", the preacher said, "it's been trained in the word of the Lord". Yeah, yeah, the man then offered him three times the going rate. The preacher thought about it then figured it could do a lot of good for fixing the church roof so he relented. "But you have to remember the commands", he told him, "it obeys them religiously". "For left it's Moses and for right it's Jesus and to stop it's get behind me Satan and for go it's praise the Lord." Yeah, yeah, the guy couldn't wait to get on this fine animal. As soon as he did he said "praise the Lord" and it took off. Every time he said it the faster it got. It was really flying. He was thinking of all the money he could win racing it when he noticed it was headed for a precipice with a steep drop of a couple hundred feet. Panicking he could not recall what the preacher said were the words to stop it. The edge was fast approaching and he was going over every bible verse he could think of. At the last second he recalled and shouted "get behind me Satan!" The horse dug in his hooves and slid right up to the very edge with a few pebbles tumbling over it. The man was so relieved looking over the edge that he sat back in the saddle and wiped his brow saying, "praise the Lord".
PigLick on 9/3/2019 at 11:58
I'm stealing that one
curseofnight on 11/3/2019 at 21:55
Quote Posted by Tocky
I love those little snippets out of the lives of old folks. It really gives a perspective we can never reach nor will ever fully understand because you had to be there....
I agree completely, although I don't remember even a quater of my grandma's stories, let alone my great grandma Spell's stories(which where always better). I'll ask around about some old stories my elders told and post them here(if I anyone in my family remembers them...)
I remember one about how my grandma won a pissin' contest. This happened outside the barn where they watched their movies. Apparently, she beat all the girls and the boys. She was very proud of that.
I used to invite my friends over to her house, on the premise of having them try her excellent cooking(which was great!), with the ulterior motive of baiting her into telling that story just so my friends could get a laugh. I was an evil boy, lol. Love ya grandma!