Starrfall on 9/12/2008 at 17:52
Quote Posted by Stitch
You've been sexlessly quasi-dating this woman for months now, and you think you can "chance your luck" and things might change? Dude,
you're chancing your luck now and nothing is happening beyond mixed signals. I don't know what this girl's game is but it sure doesn't involve actually dating you.
He's hardly the first person to put and keep himself in a less than ideal relationship situation in the hopes that it'll work out in the end. If he's decided that the status quo is good enough to keep even with the chance that nothing more will ever come of it then no one here is going to change his mind.
Stitch on 9/12/2008 at 18:37
Quote Posted by Starrfall
He's hardly the first person to put and keep himself in a less than ideal relationship situation in the hopes that it'll work out in the end. If he's decided that the status quo is good enough to keep even with the chance that nothing more will ever come of it then no one here is going to change his mind.
i think you missed the part where he posted a thread about it
Starrfall on 9/12/2008 at 18:49
A thread that made it reasonably clear that he's not ready to throw what he has (as unsatisfactory as it may seem) away at this point.
In the interests of not appearing overly encouraging I'll add something to my first reply to this thread: Bloodcat, if you stick around and she falls for someone else (which is at least just as likely as her falling for you and is almost certainly more likely since she's not used to thinking of you as a love interest), it's really going to suck and it's going to suck more than you expect. Be sure that you're not making the mistake of thinking that because she doesn't want you right now, she doesn't want anyone, or of thinking that she'll just one day decide it's time for a serious relationship and you'll be first in line because you've been there all along.
BloodCat on 9/12/2008 at 19:47
As before you're right, this status quo is more interesting and fun than quite a few relationships I had. I won't throw it away even if nothing comes from it, exactly.
I'm aware how hard it would be if she fell in love with someone else. I've been through this. And I'm not just alive, I'm in love.
Queue on 9/12/2008 at 22:06
Quote Posted by BloodCat
Jesus, what is it with you guys that you cannot just wish someone luck that you don't even know very well and who told you about a difficult situation he's in?
Because in the situation you've described, you're being asinine and really self-absorbed. It's rather infuriating.
Why? WHY!?"
io organic industrialism on 9/12/2008 at 22:30
Good luck, Bloodcat... I hope it works out for you man :D
BloodCat on 9/12/2008 at 22:33
Alright, I may be a bit self-absorbed. It helps to hear other people's opinions about this, hence this thread. I do however prefer people like Starrfall who won't attack me for it (because that just triggers my self-defense) but rather seem understanding while still warning me. That really made me think. But I don't believe I'm being more asinine than anyone who's ever been in a one-sided love.
Thanks Vasquez and IO. I appreciate it.
Stitch on 9/12/2008 at 23:15
Quote Posted by BloodCat
I do however prefer people like Starrfall who won't attack me for it
Reread this thread and note carefully every time you lose your shit and overreact when someone says something other than what you want to hear. I'm not saying you're entirely getting a fair shake in this thread (Queue's anti-game rant was a little rough) but for the most part your treatment is entirely earned.
Now, about your situation: honestly, you're pretty thoroughly fucked. For whatever reason you've allowed yourself to get heavily emotionally attached to someone who isn't romantically interested in you. I'm sure she thinks the world of you and would argue to her closest friends that you're an awesome guy, but she's basically using you as a surrogate boyfriend until a real contender comes along. This may not be her intent, but her actions speak with unmistakable clarity.
Now, what can you do? You can stay with her, which will be an emotional rollercoaster. You'll get some companionship, you'll get kissing, you might even get sex. What you won't get, though, is any drastic change in the way she feels about you. There is a certain level of mutual attraction that builds in a relationship, and it isn't going to suddenly kick in after this many months without.
And honestly, if your ideal situation panned out and this girl
did manage to fall in love with you, do you really think she'd be a good girlfriend? Flirty, crazy dames are fun as hell for a short fling but they don't tend to wear well in the long run. I certainly understand her allure, but what you're going through now is just a taste of the massive spinning dervish of instability that would be a serious relationship with her.
I would almost suggest just riding this one into the ground for kicks while keeping your eye out for someone better, but you had to go and fall in love.
This is in her hands now.
Queue on 9/12/2008 at 23:20
I thought my rant was gentle and loving. :(
...like that hooker in the backyard
PigLick on 9/12/2008 at 23:33
I still think hes gay
