jtr7 on 8/12/2008 at 00:27
There's true love and there's infatuation. Where do you REALLY think you are on that scale. True love is as selfless as love can get. If you are in a one-sided relationship, does your desire to be in her presence and miserable outweigh what is in both of your best interests? You know what you want, but do you really think you can change her mind about you? Do you really think this isn't the same old story? I still have no real idea what the dynamic is, but choose your poison. If you really care for her, do what's in her best interest, or you're only just thinking of your own "needs".
What about you DOES she respect, and is it enough for anyone to see the point in hanging on?
Inline Image:
http://www.zgeek.com/forum/gallery/files/3/4/9/6/italian_spiderman_idiot.gif"RESPECT WOMEN!"
Scots Taffer on 8/12/2008 at 00:34
Quote Posted by BloodCat
Scots Taffer: I do not think she's "bad", whatever that means, nor do I wish I could love someone else.
Bad not in a moral sense but in a "such a naughty girl" way definitely makes sense here. She has suggested a threesome with some random girl, public displays of affection without strings and without any true sense of relationship, getting into fights out on boozy nights out, obviously a massive flirt to boot - I think that fits the "bad girl" definition pretty well. That's all I was saying.
As for advice, you should just decide on what you want - pursue it aggressively at risk of everything else or toss it aside and look elsewhere, or continue on as is until the eventual disaster crops up.
BloodCat on 8/12/2008 at 00:38
jtr7: So I'm supposed to be the judge of what's in her best interest now? I already said that I want her to be happy. She's not unhappy now and I don't see why she would be if we were together.
I don't feel miserable in her presence by the way. I do without her.
Stop preaching. This isn't about morals. Or better said: From your POV both her and me have no morals. Isn't that right?
Scots Taffer: I got you wrong on the bad girl there. You got it, she is that type. I know my options now. Either I walk away with my dignity intact or I don't.
jtr7 on 8/12/2008 at 00:47
You misunderstand. I'm throwing concepts out there to get you to think differently about your situation. I'm saying what won't be said to give you a new perspective. That does not mean, at all, that I'm expecting you to adopt the views I'm expressing. I don't care what you do, but I'm wondering why you expect satisfaction from what is obviously a relationship without a heart. Good luck. There've gotta be hundreds of self-help books, and art and literature about people like you, in relationships like yours.
BloodCat on 8/12/2008 at 00:51
And there are a million songs.
jtr7 on 8/12/2008 at 01:01
Yes! What can we do for you that you are not capable of yourself, right at this moment?
In the most concise terms, what do you want to happen?
If the answer resembles "I want to [euphemism for F***!] her, and her alone, because it will make me her happy!" then, barring a miracle, or crazy luck--yer doomed.
ercles on 8/12/2008 at 01:36
Quote Posted by BloodCat
She's worth it though.
From what you have said so far, NO SHE PATENTLY ISN'T!
Peanuckle on 8/12/2008 at 06:00
Hey /relationship9000/, I'm in this crappy situation with a girl and...
Oh, I seem to be in the wrong place. Funny, I coulda sworn...
BloodCat on 8/12/2008 at 08:29
Quote Posted by jtr7
What about you DOES she respect, and is it enough for anyone to see the point in hanging on?
That I'm also an intelligent, sensitive and sexy person I guess. I like to party hard, just like her, and I'm the one who takes her home when she's done for. We're very different in many ways. But there's a mutual understanding in lots of matters, that each of us had to explain to far too many others.
Quote Posted by jtr7
In the most concise terms, what do you want to happen?
Since you suggested this, the answer isn't fucking. It might be a step to an honest relationship though, which is what I want. The everyday living, Queue spoke of. Well what amounts to normal life on our terms.
Ercles: I understand that you would think so. She's worth it for me though.
Shug: I see what you did there. The answer may seem obvious for someone who's not in this situation himself, and then it may still be wrong.
I met a good pal of hers yesterday and it was one of those awkward situations where I felt she would have liked to present me in a certain "presentable" way and it didn't quite work out. On the other hand I got along well with her other friends so far (that Turkish girl wasn't a random one, but a good friend), and we're going to meet again today. Just wish me some luck. That's all I need.
