BloodCat on 7/12/2008 at 03:42
There is no easy solution. I'm neither very young nor completely inexperienced. I do happen however to fall so easily... not because I'm shallow but because I need someone.
Until about a year ago I used to have a long term relationship, really long term. But I abandoned it like a habit when someone else came along. We were out on student party, dancing, suddenly close, and then having sex in a much too obvious place. There was no future to that new love, J. was just my ticket out. She stayed with her boyfriend.
I couldn't stand being alone for long, a life without love seems not worth living, and I fell for friend, named C. We used to go clubbing a lot during the summer, sleeping at each others places when we came home drunk and all partied out. And one night I did something stupid: I cuddled up to her back, really innocently, but she knew anyway. C.'s a lewd lil Asian girl so she was interested, but not enough to betray her friendship with my ex. We had some ugly fights afterwards. It only recently settled down after she left the country temporarily.
We weren't going out alone but with a friend of hers, a beautiful tall blonde named K. The infernal party trio. And one night after a concert, we rode the train back home, and K. wanted to snog, just to show how to have fun to some boring kids on the train. "Non-committal." as she told me. Fine.
I didn't see K. for two months or so after our trio broke up. But we'd promised each other to substitute for the MIA. So eventually we agreed on a club night, danced, got drunk and made out. When we finally left the club she asked me to come with her. "No sex." she said. "Cuddling okay?" "I expect that." Fine.
And that is how it's been for the past two or three months. We meet on weekends, go clubbing, hard partying, kissing, she gets us into fights with bouncers and cab drivers, but we're always getting there. And I love her.
We always end up at her place, sleeping together but not having sex. Oddly she brought that up when we'd taken home a friend of hers last week. Cute Turkish girl who was somewhat into me. The next morning K. asked if I was interested in a threesome. I was not.
I never told her that I love her. At first I wasn't sure if I wanted a relationship at all because I'd finally achieved some agreement with myself, about being alone. Then I learned that she doesn't love me and probably never will. She uttered fears that I might fall in love with her. She sure likes me a lot. But she prefers rich older men, I guess. She actually has an affair with one. I don't know much about it.
When we're together we're very much like a couple as it is, and we're joking about it. We have no sex though and might never have alone. Maybe it would be too close.
It's not perfect. But it's far too good to throw away.
PigLick on 7/12/2008 at 05:35
I think its pretty obvious, your gay
Trance on 7/12/2008 at 05:55
His gay what?
Turtle on 7/12/2008 at 06:01
Quote:
The next morning K. asked if I was interested in a threesome. I was not
Not your first mistake, but the most prominent.
aguywhoplaysthief on 7/12/2008 at 06:19
This will need some serious editing before it has even a chance of getting into Penthouse.
Martin Karne on 7/12/2008 at 09:33
A weird J.C.K.e?
BloodCat on 7/12/2008 at 10:26
Well I thought I could get some advice here, possibly even from a female POV, but it seems I gave up privacy AND wasted my time. I'm neither gay nor writing down fantasies here. And I didn't join that 3some because it didn't feel right. I want her, not her and a friend, at least for the first time. If you're the kind of male who thinks one should jump at a chance like this no matter what, then you're probably not getting many chances and you're plain callous.
I'm sorry Martin, what is JCKe?
One thing I might add is that K acts jealous when the opportunity arises. I was flattered as much as baffled when I noticed.
jtr7 on 7/12/2008 at 11:02
Either get out of the "relationship", in spite of how you feel about her, or propose to her, or ask her what's going on with her. If you can't talk about these things between yourselves, be prepared to be miserable. Have you tried to ask her where she's coming from? You didn't say if you've discussed marriage with her, but her reaction could tell you something. Without more information, there's nothing to say, except she doesn't sound like she wants much to do with you, except superficially. I don't know. Is she just going through a phase, and you're the current thing she's experimenting with? Not much to work with, here, without a flash of insight.
Martin Karne on 7/12/2008 at 12:13
A weird joke, that was.
Shug on 7/12/2008 at 15:08
Well, I read over this posting this morning and fairly quickly dismissed it.
However, given I now have a few under the belt, it's perhaps a better time to reply to the topic at hand. You mention upfront that you're not young or inexperienced, so I imagine you already know for yourself that she's emotionally weighted down and wants to play by whatever arbitrary rules she wishes to use and so forth. So you either break that down, continue as you are, or pursue other leads.
I mean, honestly. I don't really know what you want to hear other than some kind of ridiculous hollywood plotline?
