Vernon on 4/5/2009 at 11:08
find a lady of ample bosom and have kids
BloodCat on 4/5/2009 at 11:31
Quote Posted by Sypha Nadon
Like maybe I'm worrying/depressing myself sick.
This. It quite sounds like you are. That doesn't mean it's less real. It does hold the opportunity to change it yourself though.
Quote Posted by Sypha Nadon
has anyone else felt like this towards the end of their 20's? Just this kind of alienated, crappy feeling, this depression over inevitable decay, sickness, the banality of life, and so forth? I'm guessing it's not an uncommon thing.
Yes, it actually changed after 30, a lot. Most of my teens and twens were spent worrying, feeling angsty and sometimes thinking I could be better than that, if I just managed to get a grip and stopped being ashamed of myself.
Once I hit thirty this somehow fell off of me. I realised that by now I know who I am and what I want and don't want and that I'm actually doing a whole lot better than many others. That I'm not someone to be embarrassed about but could be proud of myself without turning into a snob. You know, someone who's been on the shitty side and has sympathy for those who are still there, but gets over it most of the time and then is a great guy to be around, exactly for these reasons. And that I could manage a lot of things I felt incapable of before. Somehow the pressure was off from then on.
I started changing my life at this point (I chose life, haha). I'm not yet finished. And there are still those times when think I can't handle it, but they got less severe and far in between. Maybe it's just some hormonal change, I have no idea. But I've heard similar things from others.
Ulukai on 4/5/2009 at 12:24
If you're not into the whole gym thing, take up running, or rowing, or cycling, or anything that gets your heart going a few times a week.
Physical exercise is a great mood lifter.
Stop worrying about your health, and it'll improve all by itself. Sit on the internet or being bored on your arse all day, and you can convince yourself you have bubonic plague.
Don't psychoanalyse everything.
Just fucking do it. Whatever 'it' maybe. As long as 'it' has the potential for life changing goodness.
Mr.Duck on 4/5/2009 at 18:30
Frankly, I've missed the Sypha drama.
Welcome back, son.
Also: get better!
Thief13x on 4/5/2009 at 18:59
Long time!
Yeah, pretty much what everyone has been saying about hitting the gym. This is the number one (cure?) for depression prescribed by psychologists apart from meds, of course for extreme cases. You might try (
http://www.intervaltraining.net/) interval training if you don't wanna spend more than 20 min a day. I've been doing this for about 3 weeks 5 days a week and not only am I blasting away the pounds, but I feel great overall and I'm in and out of the gym in 20 minutes which just fly by.
Also, consider college? If you feel you're too old you might go to community college. I took a few classes there and in general, it's a nice 50/50 mix of college aged and middle aged folk. I know you already spent 5 years but maybe an associates in something you feel might interest you might be a nice addon. You don't even have to go full time. I always figured if I got bored with what my major offers I would maybe do the 'criminal justice' major offered at like every community college. Maybe the way you're feeling around the 30's describes why so many people switch careers around this time. Don't let it get ya down!
I would also def suggest moving out. I know personally it would be a real motivation crusher if I was living with my folks (maybe its just them, haha). Also i'll keep my fingers crossed with this damn recession and graduation just around the corner:eww:
Starrfall on 4/5/2009 at 20:26
(
http://www.exrx.net/Beginning.html) exrx is a really good resource too.
Above all, if you do pick up some form of exercise (and again I really think you should) please either learn how to do it right before you start or get someone to help you so you don't hurt yourself.
Stitch on 4/5/2009 at 21:16
Hi Sypha!
Some sound advice in general here; this gym talk may seem more appropriate for, well, anyone else, but you might surprise yourself were you to give it a go. Even the 'lickster was on to something with the booze and drugs as dear god you could use a little loosening up.
Basically, it all comes down to you gritting your teeth and painfully babystepping your way past the walls off your security bubble. Get your own place and build a new comfort zone that doesn't involve your parents. Join a group or two to get you out of the house and grant some structure to your freetime. And yeah, consider joining that gym.
It's not going to be an easy process, but the overwhelming sensation of "dear god this doesn't feel right" should ease with time as you continue to expand your reality. You'll probably never escape your anxieties entirely but you should be able to manage them enough to coexist in some semblance of harmony. There are, I imagine, others like you who have managed some degree of control over their neuroses, maybe there's a local support group you could look into?
For the record I don't actually know the first goddamn thing about any of the above but Uncle Stitch is SHOOTIN FROM THE GUT
Martin Karne on 5/5/2009 at 02:21
How I stopped worrying and loving the Ass bomb, don't care about what they think of you, but for what you think of yourself.
Scots Taffer on 5/5/2009 at 02:42
Sypha, you're practically thirty years old and still an angsty teen. Maybe your parents mollycoddle you because you haven't grown up yet.
Sypha Nadon on 5/5/2009 at 03:18
Well, part of the problem is it's all kind of a viscous cycle of depression, health issues, and so on that all feeds into each other. I know some of my health issues are psychosomatic but with others there are actual symptoms. I mentioned IBS in my initial post but there are other things too, like how last year, my doctor determined that my upper leg muscles were starting to atrophy from all the repetition I did at work. If I felt healthier, I could tackle more of these problems. But the health problems just bring me down, making me further inactive, and so on and so forth. The viscous cycle. And it's not as if I haven't gotten this stuff treated... I mean, I've been seeing a stomach specialist for over ten years now, but haven't made a whole lot of progress. I do think that if I had a better job, at least 50% of these problems would go away.
Thief13x, I'm not trying to blast away the pounds, I'm trying to gain weight... but I see what you mean. This morning I weighed in at about 133 pounds, whereas around two or three years ago I was around 155. I know that two summers ago I went on some kind of antibiotic treatment for a stomach infection and lost a lot of weight due to side effects. In fact, I think if anything it just further messed me up down there, as it were.
Starrfall, yeah, certainly one would want to read up about what exercises one wishes to do so they can avoid, say, killing themselves by accident or something.
Stitch, part of the reason I've avoided beer and drugs is because I know, with my lack of willpower, I'd probably end up getting hooked very easily (having known quite a few drunken wrecks in my time, that has provided further incentive). Though to be honest, with my intestines being the way they are at the moment, probably the last thing it needs is booze and drugs.
Thanks for all of the advice though... I'll certainly look into the exercise thing. Though I still think that changes in my diet are a necessity.
