Spitter on 8/5/2006 at 19:16
I'm here to torture and mutilate spiders and chew bubblegum and I'm all out of gum
Random_Taffer on 8/5/2006 at 19:18
My deepest sympathy on the spider, GBM. I hate them. I bloody hate them.
I live in Iowa. The most deadly one we have (to humans) is the black widow. I've only encountered the legendary widow once or twice in my whole life. (Grew up on a farm in the country)
Haven't had too many experiences with spiders. (that I know about :sweat:)
Once during a hot summer night I was asleep in my room (I was a younger lad then) and felt something tickling my chest. I woke up and as my eyes came into focus I was face to feelers with a many eyed wolf spider. A big hairy one not quite as big the creep you described but probably the size of my fist when strectched out. Having a natural fear of spiders I had a panic attack and slapped the fucker. I really regret doing that because I squashed it all over my chest.
I cleaned it off and threw my blankets outside to mess with tomorrow...
For about the next couple weeks I slept out on the couch with a sheet for a blanket.
I bloody hate them!
Tulsidas on 8/5/2006 at 19:29
Quote Posted by Turtle
something incomprehensible about comprehension
These pets live in a garage? :wot: You know, that'd actually explain quite a few things. Regardless, you still only have to make it go away.
I'm totally digging these confrontational attitudes here, when indeed, as human beings, all of us
know what is the the most moral/sensible thing to do here.
Why kill, when you can do better?:thumb:
Gorgonseye on 8/5/2006 at 19:41
Next time someone has a big confrontation with a spider and wants to talk aobut it on TTLG, make sure to tape record it, put on some funny music in the backround, and put it on some site, then give us the link so we can see the video, ways to entertain ourselves out of a moment of another's suffering :D .
Random_Taffer on 8/5/2006 at 19:43
Yes. When I awoke to a large hairy spider scuttling up to my face on my BARE chest. I should have thought.
'Oh, another of nature's precious innocents. Fear not little spider I won't hurt you.'
Then I should have remained calm and understanding as it bit my chest and tried not to hurry toward the door. (So it doesn't fall off and fracture a limb)
Upon reaching the outdoors I should have lied back down upon the grass and let the poor bugger scuttle off my chest when it was ready.
Wouldn't want it to think that it wasn't welcome to my tender skin.
Then when it finally crawled off I would thank it for it's patience with me and ask if there was anything else I could do for it...
Tulsidas on 8/5/2006 at 20:01
Yes. A brave person like you shouldn't live with the regret that it actually didn't harm you. You really shouldn't have simply threw it away off of your chest. You did the right thing and should tell us more of your legendary tales of courage here.:thumb:
Oh, btw GBM, i totally appreciate that you're researching the spider and are not acting in haste (read: kill) :thumb:
Random_Taffer on 8/5/2006 at 20:21
Quote Posted by Tulsidas
Yes. A brave person like you shouldn't live with the regret that it actually didn't harm you. You really shouldn't have simply threw it away off of your chest. You did the right thing and should tell us more of your legendary tales of courage here.:thumb:
Oh, btw GBM, i totally appreciate that you're researching the spider and are not acting in haste (read: kill) :thumb:
First of all, If I was sleeping this is not the case. Having been startled awake I probably would have struck out at anything. Spider, cat, the wife. Anyone.
If I was not asleep, the bloody thing wouldn't have the chance to get close enough.
The only thing I regret is getting its nasty guts all over my chest.
Mr.Duck on 8/5/2006 at 20:26
If a spider eats G, I get first dibs on his stuff.
<3
Gingerbread Man on 8/5/2006 at 20:34
I don't kill spiders unless they are being faggots. In fact I cultivate spiders in my home, within reason. But if they go where they aren't supposed to be, if they try to get all leggier-than-thou at me, they find out what a rolled up magazine feels like.
I also have no patience for spiders who can't do basic Spidery Things... If I see one fall off the ceiling (not dropline down, but actually slip and fall) then it goes outside. Also I routinely bust up inappropriate web placement. And if one attempts to use my keyboard it suddenly encounters freak hurricane winds that blow it off the desk. And if the cat eats it, well that's the circle of life.
Freak spiders, dangerous-looking spiders, and Things That Have No Right To Be Where They Are get squashed. I am in all ways a gentle and compassionate person, but I am also a six-foot tall ape with a variety of tools and the cortex to use them at my disposal. Crawly things -- when crawly on me -- bypass my higher-order brain function and activate the KILL IT area, located somewhere in the reptilian subcortical structures between HAVE SEX WITH THAT and RUN AWAY RUN AWAY. I live in fear of the day when those areas short-circuit, but so far no problems.
Anyway. I have had no luck finding the purple fucker. But rest assured that if it tries anything untoward it will be a stain on the concrete before it even twigs that there's a brick in my hand. I don't care what his adherents say, even Siddhartha himself would fucking pulverise a huge spider if you put one in his shirt. Compassion only goes so far, and it sure as hell can't override the reptilian brain.
Tulsidas on 8/5/2006 at 20:35
Quote Posted by Random_Taffer
If I was not awake, the bloody thing wouldn't have the chance to get close enough.
Yes. After all, you are a brave person.:thumb:
