Scots Taffer on 17/9/2007 at 02:26
This is kind of interesting as it's (
http://www.reuters.com/article/domesticNews/idUSN0725142920070912?pageNumber=3) in the news at the moment and I've also been watching HBO's show, (
http://www.hbo.com/biglove)
Big Love - the subject matter of both?
Polygamy, or what some refer to as "living the principle".
The news article concerns itself with the ugly underbelly of a hardcore fundamentalist LDS (Latter Day Saints) sect who believe that their divine leader, the ubiquitously-named Joseph Smith, only put a stop to polygamy under Mormon religion due to political pressures in 1890. The practices of this sect are captured in Big Love too, in the fictional "compound" of the (
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Love#The_United_Effort_Brotherhood) United Effort Brotherhood where, among other things, you see young girls being wed to old men. Especially their "prophet", which is precisely the role of the man under trial in the linked article although he wasn't getting married to the young girl in this case, he was only arranging it.
The actions of those that are involved in the hardcore removed-from-society compound are obviously pretty heinous, children are being raised utterly ignorant of the outside world and are forced into marriages at puberty like we're still living in the dark ages, plus there are lots of shady goings on like this trial is illustrating.
However, what we also see in the article is the following -
Quote:
They say it
[polygamy] helps build stronger families, and multiple wives makes childcare easier for mothers who hold jobs.
Big Love is very much focused on this side of the coin, as they are an unconventional three-wife family living in the middle of regular suburbia, though it does frequently refer to the goings-on in the "compound" and the rather cruel and ignorant ways of the people there. It's a really bizarre concept and I'm really enjoying the show, despite it purely being a glorified soap opera set in a polygamous household, and it's nice to do see Bill Paxton strutting his dramatic chops after years away from the big screen.
The drama often centres around the women of the marriage, the varying pressures on them, the scrutiny of a suspecting public, the veil of secrecy that they must wear in order to continue their daily lives, and I suppose that raises the question: for consenting adults in a free-will environment, what
is wrong with polygamy? I mean, wrong enough to make illegal and punishable in a criminal court.
Obviously, religion has a large part to do with it - nearly every one of them has some condemning thing to say about violating the sanctity of marriage, which is viewed traditionally as the union of one man and one woman. However, even when looking at the objections raised such as in the (
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polygamy#Legal_situation) Catholic Catechism it's a sort of fuzzy grey area judgement call that's probably more influenced by cultural norms than "moral law".
I mean, a large part of it comes down to your personal orientation when it comes to relationships and the accepted "normality" of a single couple in an exclusive relationship. Anything else, even
menage a trois are still outside the standard "boundaries" of what much of society would consider appropriate or even moral. I find the concept quite mind-bending, I must admit, and I don't think it's a particularly viable option - how can a person truly and equally love (in that way) more than one other? Is that just a narrow perspective, or is it simply logical - to stretch one's love across more than one person can only mean that at one stage or another, someone is being neglected? This surely seems to be the case once or twice in Big Love.
It is strange though, when you consider the above quote, that in some ways perhaps polygamous relationships are overcoming the hurdles of a modern society, where both husband and wife's families are fractured by divorce leaving them with little or no support structure beyond themselves, love is divided and often fraught with politics, and financial pressures mount against married professional couples.
But, of course, no thread about pluralism in marriage could go without the comedy response offered at the end of the article:
Quote:
"...a guy's got to be crazy to have more than one wife."
SubJeff on 17/9/2007 at 02:47
Dude, they don't allow in Oz. Get over it.
Shug on 17/9/2007 at 02:51
his dong alone has three wives, buddy
SubJeff on 17/9/2007 at 02:55
Seriously though:
Quote Posted by Scots Taffer
I don't think it's a particularly viable option - how can a person truly and equally love (in that way) more than one other? Is that just a narrow perspective, or is it simply logical - to stretch one's love across more than one person can only mean that at one stage or another, someone is being neglected?
This is the big issue in my mind. When couples have issues there isn't any jealousy involved in the same way as there would be in a polygamous situation. If there is someone else to blame they will be I reckon, and then it feels like favouritism/neglect when it's possible that neither is going on.
Of course there is the massive cultural baggage that comes with lack of familiarity with such things. If people grow up thinking that they will end up in a monogamous relationship altering their perception is nigh on impossible. There are many polygamous relationships in the Indian subcontinent; Islamic law often (depending on sub-set) allows for polygamy based on some period in time when there was a war caused deficit of men.
One thing I find interesting is that polygamous marriages by and large seem to involve multiple women, not multiple men.
Scots Taffer on 17/9/2007 at 03:06
Yeah, polyandry isn't really common at all. One could argue that polygamy is another very sexist, male-oriented institution - a man having multiple wives at different stages in his life, meaning he will often have at least one very young wife, but there are few examples of the other side of the coin.
Plus, alpha male syndrome, lol.
Kolya on 17/9/2007 at 11:32
Quote Posted by Scots Taffer
how can a person truly and equally love (in that way) more than one other?
I think that happens a lot. But for this to work three persons have to love one another.