Hewer on 27/8/2008 at 14:40
What's grosser than gross?
A vampire with a used tampon.
Two boys are bragging about their fathers- one black, the other white. The bragging starts to escalate and the black boy says: "Well my daddy's got a car, and the horn goes HON-KEY HON-KEY!" The white boy replies:"Yeah, well my daddy's got a chainsaw, and it goes RUNNNNNNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGER, RUNNNNNNNIGGERNIGGERNIGGER!"
scumble on 27/8/2008 at 16:53
There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose cock was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin
Wiping spunk from his chin
If my ear was a fanny I'd fuck it
It's the British usage of "fanny" of course
heretic on 27/8/2008 at 18:03
There once was a fellow named Dave,
Who kept a dead whore in a cave.
I have to admit,
She smelled like shit,
But, think of the money he saved!
Pitch on 27/8/2008 at 18:09
-Daddy! I dreamed that a goat raped me!
-[strokes his goatee] A goat, you say?
What did a deaf blind and paraplegic child get for christmas?
Cancer.
37637598 on 28/8/2008 at 03:23
Quote Posted by scumble
...
It's the British usage of "fanny" of course
Ugh, I have one as well...
When I was young and in my prime, I masturbated all the time...
But now that I am old and gray, I limit myself to twice a day.
demagogue on 28/8/2008 at 04:10
Quote Posted by scumble
A rude limerick told to me by a friend that got stuck in my head
You know that limerick is a century old and about the most famous dirty joke ever, just beating out the Aristocrats. I think it says something about its simple brilliance when a joke can still be funny, and dirty, 100 years later.
Edit: by the way, speaking of the (
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfRJSmrQSDk) Aristocrats, don't miss the doc on the second most famous dirty joke ever. And I forgot about the (
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vulnper_4IA) southpark version. Already posted before but what the hell.
Keeper_Andrus on 28/8/2008 at 06:25
As for Helen Keller jokes, I liked the corduroy.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They rearranged the furniture.
Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?
She was a woman.
Why should women wear white?
Because the dishwasher should match the refrigerator
heretic on 28/8/2008 at 06:46
There was a young sailor from Brighton
Who remarked to his girl, "You're a tight one."
She replied, "upon my soul,
You're in the wrong hole;
There's plenty of room in the right one."
Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
So she can moan with the other.
How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret?
Break her fingers.
theBlackman on 28/8/2008 at 08:22
What happens when you have a Oriental marry a hispanic?
You get a son who can steal a car, but can't drive it.
Nothing personal MrDuck. :)
As to the limericks:
A pretty young girl from Madras,
Had a most magnificent Ass.
Not rounded and pink,
As you probably think.
It was grey, had long ears and ate grass.
A gorgeous young lady named Flynn,
Thought fornication was a great Sin.
But when she was tight,
She thought it alright.
So we kept her provided with Gin.
A pansy who lived in Khartoum,
Took a Lesbian up to his room.
And they argued all night,
Over Who had the right,
To do what, and with which, and to whom.
st.patrick on 28/8/2008 at 08:29
A line of Jews are queuing just outside the shower block in Auschwitz. Among them, there's a small frightened boy, clutching to a big cat in his arms. The SS-mann supervising the line spots him, comes over, strokes his hair and says: "You little murderer you."
