ZymeAddict on 27/8/2008 at 00:42
Two rabbis are walking down the street when they pass a church with a sign out front which says "Come here about Christianity and we'll pay you $2".
The rabbis argue back and forth about whether the offer is worth it, before one of them eventually goes in. The other rabbi waits around outside, and when his friend finally comes back out, he asks him if he got the $2. His friend replies "Is that all you people ever think about?"
37637598 on 27/8/2008 at 01:32
What's the difference between a fetus and sandpaper?
You can't eat sandpaper
Why do black people have white palms?
from leaning their hands on cop cars
Why are black people so fast?
The slow ones got caught
What's the difference between a black man and a park bench?
A park bench can support a family of 4
How can you tell who the richest mexican on your block is?
Give him a quarter
Why don't you play UNO with a mexican?
He'll steal all the "Green-cards"
How do you starve an indian?
Hide his foodstamps under his work boots
you know how to turn your dishwasher into a shovel?
take the rag away and give the bitch a shovel
you know why women didn't drive in the 50's?
no roads between the bedroom and the kitchen
What's the difference between men and women?
Women are stupid
LONG JOKE, but very funny:
There's this racist guy (hates indians) driving down the highway and he sees this indian in the middle of the road, so his urge takes over, he floors the gas pedal, and WHAM! Hits the indian, killing it.
a little way further down the road, he sees another indian, urge takes over, floors gas pedal, BAM! Hits the indian killing it.
A few miles further, he sees a pastor hitch-hiking on the side of the road... He thinks about the indians he just killed and how they might have had families, he feels bad so... He picks up the pastor and drives down the road. A little ways down, he sees an indian in the middle of the road, he REALLY wants to hit it but he thinks 'aww I have this pastor in the car with me', so as he approaches the indian, he swerves to the left of it to dodge it, but he hears a WHAM!! He thinks OH GOD, did I hit him!?!?!
The pastor says, 'Nah ya missed him, but I got him with the door!'
:laff:
Sorry if any of these have already been posted, I just had to get them out before the left my mind! I'll read all of yours now :cheeky:
Scots Taffer on 27/8/2008 at 01:54
Sadly the pastor one just got told, I enjoyed the rest of them though!
irving_forbush on 27/8/2008 at 01:57
Ahh, dead baby jokes.
I used to really love them (about 30 years ago). Then I grew up.
Here's the ones I remember:
What's easier to unload - a truckload of dead babies or a truckload of bowling balls?
Dead babies - you can use a pitchfork.
What's this? (makes wriggling motion w/ pitchfork)
The occasional live one.
What's worse than nailing a dead baby to a tree?
Ripping it off.
How do you make a dead baby float?
Some 7-Up, ice cream, two scoops of dead baby, searve in a tall glass w/ 2 straws.
What's worse than 10 dead babies in a barrel?
a) 9 dead babies in a barrel & one live one at the bottom eating its way to the top.
b) 1 dead baby in 10 barrels.
What's the best part about catapulting dead babies into a brick wall?
Everything.
Shug on 27/8/2008 at 05:55
What's even better than swinging a dead baby around on a clothesline
stopping it with a shovel
SD on 27/8/2008 at 07:59
Nobody enjoys bad taste gags more than me, but racist jokes? On TTLG? Seriously...
quinch on 27/8/2008 at 08:16
There's this ant walking along in the jungle who hears a tremendous roar. He rushes over to where it came from and sees a lady Elephant grimacing in pain.
"What's the matter?" says the ant. "I have a splinter in my foot" replies the Elephant. "Hey no problem, let me remove that for you" says the ant.
Once the splinter is removed the relieved Elephant shows her gratitude by asking the ant if she can do anything for him in return.
"Actually, I would love to have sex with you if that's OK?" says the ant. The Elephant looks a bit confused but then agrees, probably realizing it won't really be a big deal.
Three minutes into the session, with the Elephant patiently waiting for the ant to finish his business, a coconut falls from a tree high above and hits the Elephant on the head. "Ouch!" says the Elephant.
The ant pulls a wry grin and shouts over "Take it all you bitch!"
D'Juhn Keep on 27/8/2008 at 08:38
Quote Posted by SD
Nobody enjoys bad taste gags more than me, but racist jokes? On TTLG? Seriously...
Dear sir, I wish to register my outrage regarding the woeful state of racist jokes on the website (
www.ttlg.com). Whilst jesting about placing a baby into a blender is all good natured fun, a joke that mocks the stereotypical foibles of the race of its protagonists is simply unacceptable. I trust this will be rectified in the near future.
Yours,
Scots Taffer on 27/8/2008 at 09:21
Yours,
Anus McButtworth
Angel Dust on 27/8/2008 at 11:06
Why did Hitler kill himself?
He got his gas bill.
What do you call a black man flying a plane?
A pilot you racist.
