Syndef on 7/10/2008 at 05:14
These are the kinds of jokes I'd tell on an internet forum and no place else.
SubJeff on 7/10/2008 at 07:39
he comes here to escape reality
Seriously though, I can tell all of these in RL, just not all to the same people.
thief0 on 7/10/2008 at 18:49
there are three goats standing in a straight line, one in front of the other. the goat who's last in line says, "There are two goats in front of me," which is true. The middle goat also claims, "There are two goats in front of me as well." how is this possible?
Ans: He's lying!
Thief13x on 8/10/2008 at 01:58
lol, I needed to read that
Rogue Keeper on 31/10/2008 at 14:15
Whats the difference between a nigger and a pizza?
A pizza can feed a family of 4.
How do you get a Jewish girl's number? Roll up her sleeve
What's the difference between acne and a catholic priest?
Acne waits until you're twelve to come on your face.
What do niggers and sperm have in common?
Only one in two million work
How do you make a nigger nervous?
Take him to an auction.
Whats the difference between a black and a snow tire?
A snow tire won't sing when you put chains on it.
What do you say to a black man in uniform?
"I'll have a Big Mac with cheese and a coke."
What did the black kid get for Christmas?
My bike.
What do you call a white guy surrounded by three blacks?
A victim.
Twenty blacks?
Coach
Thirty?
Quarterback
200?
Warden
How do you stop five niggers from raping a white woman?
Throw them a basketball.
Q: How was the Grand Canyon formed?
A: Someone dropped 20 cents down a rabbit hole at a Jewish Convention
Kolya on 31/10/2008 at 19:06
What do you call a Slovak coming a month too late to the pajama party, screaming: "I didn't have real pajamas, so I just went naked!!!" when you and your family are sitting at the dinner table?
*cough*
N'Al on 31/10/2008 at 20:06
Dear Jonathan Ross,
I've shagged your daughter!
Who's laughing now?
Regards,
Gary Glitter
demagogue on 31/10/2008 at 21:02
Whoa ... I heard a story today that would be in this thread if it were a joke, but since it wasn't even a joke maybe that makes it even funnier.
A friend of mine is the head of Arlington Theatre (a large city theatre), and was MC'ing an awards gala this last week or so, exclusive-invite only, so everybody is wearing suits and evening gowns, and there's lots of kids around, maybe an audience of 300 or so ... well, whatever is full house in a big theatre.
Somewhere in the middle he was supposed to start a slide presentation of all the fun productions and events over the course of the year, and everybody wants to watch it because they hope to see themselves. But of course there was technical difficulties with his laptop. So another guy that worked for the theatre offered his laptop. You can see what's coming...
When they plugged his laptop into the projector, rather than the slideshow running, the guy's gay porn collection starts running. I'm not making it up. The first image was apparently a collage of naked men ... including a frontal erection shot, a g****e style buttspread, and buttsecks ... so out-of-left-field that it takes a half-second to sink in what you're even looking at. Then a video started with a close-up guy masturbating directly towards the camera that's unambiguous.
It was about that point that my friend leapt towards the projector and threw a clipboard over the projector to stop the image, closed the laptop, then put on his bravest face and said to everybody in his most chipper voice, "Well we have a few more awards coming up, and a dance group. And then we have refreshments just out in the foyer as soon as the presentations are over. So let's go straight to the next award." And the audience was absolutely silent.
Another friend of mine suggested he should have won the award for best actor for pulling off a come-back like that.
I just thought holy crap you can't make up scandal that good.
Yell Piranha on 1/11/2008 at 12:10
Quote Posted by demagogue
When they plugged his laptop into the projector, rather than the slideshow running, the guy's gay porn collection starts running. I'm not making it up. The first image was apparently a collage of naked men ... including a frontal erection shot, a g****e style buttspread, and buttsecks ... so out-of-left-field that it takes a half-second to sink in what you're even looking at. Then a video started with a close-up guy masturbating directly towards the camera that's unambiguous.
There was a teacher over here a few years back who was watching some lesbian porn whilst invigilating an exam at an all-girls school. Needless to say he had forgotten that his laptop was still plugged into the projector.
SubJeff on 1/11/2008 at 16:28
These guys sound like idiots. Who takes porn to work? Come on.
Joke time:
St Peter greets a man at the gates to heaven. "Who are you?" he asks?
"I'm Barack Obama", says the man. "I was president of the USA before I got shot."
St Peter asks "I don't remember that. When were you elected?"
"Yesterday".
or something
