Fascist on 3/1/2007 at 04:38

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You find them on all forums on the web, especially big ones like TTLG. Those threads that are so brilliant they actually warrant the use of the 'subscribe to this thread' option no one uses. On this board, the following is what a thread would need to be considered 'perfect'....

1) You gotta have some deep meaning stuff, that makes the person ask questions about life like...."why am I here?", "what does it all mean?" or "why does Chuck Norris kick so much ass?" This gives the more intellectuals something to think about and then they won't bitch about the thread being a waste of bandwith.

2) You gotta have your off the wall humour that will make everyone sh*t their pants in laughter, then when they're cleaning their pants, they'll think back about the thread and sh*t in their new clean pair of pants. Then they'll call up their family and tell them about the thread they just read, and the family will tell them to quit wasting their time on the goddamn internet and get a job, ultimately resulting in two sh*tstained pairs of pants.

3) You gotta have some sexual innuendos. No thread would be complete without a couple of these lubricated babies inserted in.

4) Some drama has to happen that ends in someone getting banned or someone respectable looking like a complete jackass. This is always fun because it's like a soap opera without the goofy background music and the long akward pauses where people just stare at eachother.

5) Some long forgotten member has to pop in and say something, then go back to wherever the hell they came from. This gets the older members misty and they'll think the thread is tight because that person posted in it.

6) You have to have some well timed photoshop pics thrown in to make all the stupid people who can't read have something to look at in the thread.

7) MsLedd has to post some naked pics.

8) It's going to have to be closed, because everybody would be posting in it and it wouldn't ever stop. Then GBM would be all like "SPAM!!! SPAM!!! THIS SH*T IS GETTING CLOSED", and that will be the end of the perfect thread. But it would be a good end at that, and it would never be forgotten.

Im still working on the perfect thread, and i'm sure i'll have it done by the time the ice caps melt. Until then your going to have to settle with crap threads like this one. Happy 2007...

Briareos H on 3/1/2007 at 04:54

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I think the almalexia thread has everything except #7 and #8 and it doesn't make it the best thread in TTLG history. Quite the opposite actually.

henke on 3/1/2007 at 06:17

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Yeah.

Spitter on 3/1/2007 at 11:41

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Then there are threads like these to balance off the "perfect threads"

Mortal Monkey on 3/1/2007 at 14:30

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I don't believe in your science.