duckman on 24/6/2007 at 05:53
I am wondering what your guy's opinion is on my current situation. I'm a 2nd year college student, I met my friend my first year, we've hung out on and off since then, and he had been seeing this girl, named Girly for 2 years. After the end of the first year, they broke up, I didn't think much of girly, but I knew of her ect ect. We still talked on msn and joked around, then one day we were both bored and decided to get together. We got together, had a terrific time, and fell asleep holding eachother. About 4 days later we get together and things go further. At this point I ask her out. She agrees, we talk about her ex, aka my Friend. Me and girly come to the conclusion that we should just go for it.
I'm almost completely in love with Girly now, we've been going out for nearly a month. She and her Ex aka my Friend still remain in contact, she says it's because he knows her so well and she feels like she can talk to him easily, but now she is starting to talk to me more-so about her issues.
I've asked her if she has feelings for her ex, she replies with a detailed no. I guess that you cannot just throw someone away after 2 years? She's a very nice person though, and she isn't a whore, her ex is somewhat of a depressant.
As I've found out everyone hated her ex. Her parent's her friends everyone. They all say that he treated her like crap. She agrees and she admits she was sad and depressed in that relationship.
My friend is now upset that I'm dating his ex, and I've now found out he considered me his best friend because he isn't very social.
I tried very hard to conserve both relationships, but I now know it isn't possible. I've told me friend, after a large conversation, that we need time to heal the wounds, and if any time in the future he feels back to normal, to give me a call and we can go back to being friends.
Meanwhile my new Gf is upset about the whole thing, she wants us to remain friends, and wants to continue dating me.
I've lost a friend, but gained a potentially meaningful relationship. This is the first relationship that really means anything to me, and I've dated a lot of girls, but never met anyone quite like this girl [I'm not going to get into this but yea]. I knew that I didn't want to miss the boat on this girl because of some friendship. The idea of giving up what could possibly be the love of my life for some random friend seems foolish to me.
My question is, do you guys think I did the right thing?
The entire ordeal is still unfolding, and I'm being put under huge amounts of stress from it. :erg:
kidmystik101 on 24/6/2007 at 06:59
Quote Posted by duckman
seeing this girl, named
GirlyYou're not serious are you?
In relation to your question, it depends on how long you've been freinds with your freind for. If you've known him for a year, then maybe its ok. If he's been a lifelong freind, a girl shouldn't get in the way of your freindship.
duckman on 24/6/2007 at 07:04
I've been friends with him for 2 years.
In regards to Girly, who cares.
Shug on 24/6/2007 at 07:57
Not sure why you need advice, seems you've already talked yourself into the correct answer!
p.s. thought this was about ariane :(
duckman on 24/6/2007 at 07:59
I just feel horrible about the entire thing I guess. :( It's been so stressful, and I keep doubting my decisions due to convs with my old friend and his friends.
Swiss Mercenary on 24/6/2007 at 08:33
stick it in her pooper
Someone had to say it.
Vasquez on 24/6/2007 at 09:48
Quote Posted by duckman
My question is, do you guys think I did the right thing?
Yes. If they broke up long before you two got together, it's not like you stole her off his arms or anything melodramatic. Bygones and all that. I can understand him getting a bit upset about it, but showing it (and, seemingly, pulling the "But you're my Best Friend!" -guilt card) is somewhat adolescent.
Friends come and go, love is rare ;)
Raven on 24/6/2007 at 10:08
I have seen this story before - here's a tip - don't go putting third party friends in the middle of things. All three people involved acted so childish it was uncomfortable for everyone else around them.
It is a bit different in your case as you say that your friend treated her badly - hence it sounds like he is a bit of a prick anyway. Normally i would say friend over girl, but in this case you have talked me around (and as mentioned before, it is not as though he has been a life long friend)
good friends are more valuable than brief flirtation. - on the other hand a good friend is someone who would be happy that you have found someone you are good together with ;)
Vasquez on 24/6/2007 at 11:30
Quote Posted by Raven
on the other hand a good friend is someone who would be happy that you have found someone you are good together with ;)
Exactly. And this also tells the difference between real love and possessive infatuation.
Kolya on 24/6/2007 at 12:34
HEY I'm so happy you found someone and ... wait a moment, this looks suspiciously like my ex, you bastard!
Seriously, you don't expect a friend to be happy that you are with the girl who probably broke up with him a short time ago?
In regards to: Friendship is more important! No, love is rare! etc.
In the end those rules never work. Stick with what you feel is right. And then stand by your choice. Don't expect everyone to understand and agree with it.
