Queue on 19/9/2009 at 01:03
Quote Posted by fett
.... It's just that I don't want to burden my wife or kids with this bullshit, and am making gallant efforts to "take it like a man," but I guess I just feel safe venting here.
Don't forget, that's what they are there for. I spend most of my days horribly depressed, and would blow my head off if it weren't for friends and family to burden and annoy.
Quote:
... Can't get the generic med anymore, so I'm using the brand name. Same difference except that the two companies use a difference chemical for the time release, which is what's probably making me feel so shitty everyday that I sometimes wish I was dead.
Have you tried Canada or Mexico?
Quote:
My last manuscript is being considered by a huge NY agency right now, and it's very possible I could be selling some of my songs (for the first time after 20 years of songwriting) in the next few months.
Awesome!
Quote:
But I don't feel like doing anything. I'm either fatigued or depressed or something - it's got to be the medicine. All motivation to eat well, return e-mails, write, cook, or anything else productive is completely gone as of late.
So this is why I never hear from you. You don't write, you don't call. I sit around wondering who you're with and if she's like me.
Quote:
I'm sitting here eating Fritos for lunch
Are you a Frito Bandito?
...okay, that is pretty low. But then again, I usually just have watermelon and leftover cat.
Quote:
Don't feel like having sex
I'd still fuck you. And maybe dethtoll.
Quote:
The short term memory loss is the most frustrating. I've been to the store three times this week because even with a list, I can't find anything or I just decide the other stuff can wait (toilet paper and toothpaste can't wait, but I don't seem to figure that out until the next day). I leave my wallet and phone all over the place - tried to check out some books for my kid at the library today and realized I didn't have any ID on me. No big deal, except I cried like my mom had died all the way home. Why? I just can't seem to get my shit together - I feel scattered and disoriented all the time and there's not much I can do about it. I'm a fucking mess and I can't even blame it on drinking too much or having a miserable marriage.
Don't worry about the memory loss--it's just old age creeping up. Hell, I can't even remember where I put my beer, or if I wiped my ass. And who needs toothpaste, anyway? If you don't brush your teeth, they'll eventually rot and fall out. Problem solved.
Scattered and disoriented, though. I don't know what to say about that one thing according to Samuel Jackson...about...Strom Thurmond...what were we talking about, I forgot?
Quote:
I don't even feel like making the phone call. I'm trying not to mope around and complain to my wife because she's working so hard and trying to pick up my slack - she doesn't need my bitching on top of it.
Yes she does. That's what wives are for. If you don't feel up to doing it, make her - it's better than letting things get worse.
Quote:
So, see? It's not the end of the world or anything, but I just wish I could snap out of it or make myself care about anything - I'm so lethargic right now I can't stand myself. Why at this point in my life, where there are so many good things on the horizon, am I so apathetic about everything? Is it just the medicine or is this some kind of weird, early mid-life crisis? I keep thinking it will go away, but it just gets worse everyday.
Whatever you do, don't avoid talking to people. Take it from a professional self-loather, seek help wherever you can. And trust that you have people that truly care about you in real-life, and around this silly place.
Quote:
Feel free to call me a pussy.
Pussy
Quote:
I respect so many of you guys on here for your intelligence, honesty, and compassion, and I hope I can post something like this without being taken for a giant tool
Are we visting the same threads? (
www.ttlg.com).
Quote:
Either way, there it is. Thanks for listening.
That's what we're here for.
The Alchemist on 19/9/2009 at 01:35
I've been through all sorts of issues with illicit and prescribed drugs while I tried to get over some shit and then after that combat "depression." At this point, I'm not even taking the anti-depressants anymore because they made me tired all the time and that sorta just made me more depressed, but my two cents is this: there's a good chance the reason you're feeling depressed is influenced chemically and I don't mean you need to be on anti-depressants, I mean you should consider the effect your different meds are having on you etc. Sorry if I'm being redundant I only read the OP.
Gingerbread Man on 19/9/2009 at 01:40
Don't bitch at your wife. Talk to your wife. Don't sound like you're bitching, don't feel like you're bitching, just talk to her.
She'll make you feel like a dumbass for not talking to her before she talks to you about it, I guarantee that.
It's the medicine, you know that. She knows that. Talk to her, let her help you. She's your goddamn WAIFU motherfucker. She love you.
LesserFollies on 19/9/2009 at 02:11
It really sounds like depression to me. Depression can be triggered by little things sometimes; perhaps you're just having an understandable psychological reaction to the "idea" of them discontinuing your heart medication? That would make even the toughest person feel subconsciously abandoned, threatened and alone, and give rise to depression. And then it snowballs from there as your life gets out of control, making you feel worse. Talk to your doctor about a low dose of a mild anti-depressant. You could just try it. And hang in there.
Gingerbread Man on 19/9/2009 at 02:28
That's terrible advice, Jesus Christ. Would you have him "just try" the ones that cause anxiety, loss of sexual drive / performance, and insomnia? Or maybe a "low dose" of the increased heart rate / arrhythmia, dizziness, and confusion?
Oh wate what about increased suicidal ideation, hypertension, and thymofuckinanaesthesia?
Yeah, let's throw meds after meds, there are no balancing potions in that shit. You don't take a little A to balance a little B, this isn't a game.
Housewives and their goddamn Paxil wtf
Nicker on 19/9/2009 at 02:45
Hey fett. It is totally cool to let it out here. Even if our advice and opinions are out to lunch, TTLG is a better place than many to be heard and even to get a bit of well considered advice.
Getting some better nutrition in you than Fritos might be good. A full spectrum greens supplement and an Omega 3/6/9 oil would be an easy start. It might not relieve the depression (which this sounds like) but it will at least help to make sure there is some energy in reserve when you need to do something.
So vent on buddy and good luck with your search.
Would adding PAGE TWO - FTW \o/ be inappropriate here?
Oceanstorm on 19/9/2009 at 02:49
You're sure as hell not a pussy. It takes guts to live when you have a serious physical problem of any kind. Kudo's for making it this far. :thumb:
What others have said about bringing your wife in on it, You should. No one else knows you better or can support you the way she can.
Hang in there in Man & thanks for having the courage to share with us. :)
Enchantermon on 19/9/2009 at 03:04
I've got to agree with GBM (although you probably already know this, fett); you don't want to start taking anti-depressants unless you really need them, especially since you're on a rare drug as it is. Besides, you can beat this without them, especially with your wife on your side.
Quote Posted by Nicker
Would adding PAGE TWO - FTW \o/ be inappropriate here?
For the record, it's inappropriate
anywhere, since every member can change how many posts they want to be displayed per page.
LesserFollies on 19/9/2009 at 03:30
Holy shit, GBM. I know a lot of people, myself included, who've been helped quite a bit by anti-depressants. He's got symptoms of depression, for Christ's sake. You're doing him a disservice yourself with your overreaction. What the hell is wrong with you? Telling a person with symptoms of depression they should consider an anti-depressant=terrible advice. Yeah, right. And who the FUCK are you calling a housewife?
Gingerbread Man on 19/9/2009 at 03:47
It's not always about you, dear.
