icemann on 12/10/2017 at 08:37
Quote Posted by scumble
This sounds a lot like my second attempt at a "relationship". I was going out with a woman who had previously tried to kill herself by jumping off the top of a multi-storey car park. She was probably as demanding as this woman you gave up on eventually. I don't think it's uncommon for men to take a lot of abuse for a good shag. I tried to validate myself by saying I was "kind" to be "looking after" her.
However you can only see it wasn't worth the price afterwards. I really don't want to try being with a woman again until I feel I can avoid making the same mistake. I'm vulnerable to be used and influenced. Being changed like you say.
In my case she was a crazy that made sense once you got to know her (using her logic). Didn't make it any less crazy. But yeah, we were completely fine as friends with benefits, but the second we'd be "official" then she'd turn into a psycho and need phone time all the damn time + be more clingy. I was too young at the time to know better, so put up with more. As time went on, and I grew up I put up with less. When she cheated at the end of it (over a 4 month period of time) that was it for me. Bye bye.
Inline Image:
http://www.okayplayer.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/Nas-Bye_Baby_video_still.jpgThat REALLY messed me up for ages afterward. I didn't go out with anyone for a long time. Friends with benefits stuff here and there sure, but nothing more. Then university life came along and then that was my 100% focus. Met my current fiance during that stage. It's always when your not looking, that that is when you find the good ones.
Vasquez on 12/10/2017 at 08:58
VA, what a shitty situation, I hope things clear up. Congrats on your new job!
Quote Posted by Volitions Advocate
Anyway I missed a call tonight by 20 minutes because of it, and it was my oldest (6) calling, left me a VM just to tell me that he misses me and loves me, 90 minutes after his bed time. So I'm sure he was having trouble sleeping and might have been crying before he called. Tried calling back, but no answer. And I'm a little bit destroyed by that, something you might not understand if you don't have kids. In this moment I am completely destroyed by that little voice.
I don't have kids, but I can still imagine how devastating that must've been for you :( Also I know exactly why you turned your phone off – it's amazing how intensely you can react to just seeing "X calling" on the screen, it really can trigger a full-blown anxiety attack.
Volitions Advocate on 12/10/2017 at 13:29
Thanks Vasquez,
I'm glad somebody understands the phone thing.
@Gunny: I miss the shit out of you man. Been like 3 years since I've seen you on steam :(
Vasquez on 13/10/2017 at 08:01
Today's status: another crash. Dad's nurse called on wednesday afternoon that he wasn't home. I promised to go and see later, and when I did, some neighbors had just helped him home – he had fallen in front of the cellar door, on the way to put his rollator in.
Turned out he had wobbled his way to the liquor store and back, over 1 km away. I reacted the same as when I was a kid, barely-controlled anxiety and an urgent need to get the hell away asap. However I made him some sandwiches, gave him his evening meds etc. and then came home to worry what's gonna happen to him.
Yesterday I waited for a phone call from the day nurse, after 1 pm started to relax, but the second I was away from my phone she had called to tell she'd found dad on the floor and he was taken to a hospital. So I called there, and I'm ashamed to say I was DISAPPOINTED when they said he's okay, just legs gone weak, "maybe" he stays overnight. I was so stressed my back muscles cramped all over, and I had to wait for 2-3 hours to hear whether I have go take him home the same evening, but finally they told they'll keep him overnight.
After that I got the worst anxiety attack for a long time, and with the back cramps that was even more horrible :( I took about every pill I found in my med cabinet, and finally fell asleep. Today I called the health center, fortunately they gave me an appointment right away, and again I bawled my head off to a (thankfully sympathetic) doctor. He arranged for the psych nurse to call me to make an appointment, as well as physiotherapy & prescribed Triptyl for the muscle tension.
Woah. Happy birthday to me :rolleyes:
scumble on 13/10/2017 at 10:00
Well that certainly sucked, Vas. Fortunately you seem to be getting some help. Do you have sleep issues generally or was this just tying to sleep post-attack?
I feel somewhat less isolated in feeling I've got a load more shit to deal with these most people after reading this thread. Many of us pushed to breaking point...
Vasquez on 13/10/2017 at 10:56
*hugs scumbly*
Stress always causes sleep problems for me, so the last few years have been quite on-and-off with the sleeping. Some might think "oh so what, so he drunk a bit" etc. but I've had certain issues all through my adult life that are rooted to my childhood with bout-drinking parent. It's weird how those emotions from the past can surge back in similar situations with such overwhelming force.
Tommyph1208 on 13/10/2017 at 13:52
I'm new to the forums so be gentle with me :D
I have a vacation coming up next week (well actually it starts in like an hour) and my plan is to spend some of it getting into playing Thief FMs, a thing I never did before... That I'll be inbetween getting my son started up in his new kindergarden, various household projects and well, general life.
This forum looks like such a cosy place, so hope to become an active part of it :)
icemann on 13/10/2017 at 17:35
Welcome Tommy.
Tommyph1208 on 13/10/2017 at 17:47
Thanks a bunch :)
scumble on 14/10/2017 at 09:56
Welcome Tommy, you could be playing FMs solid for months and not run out - check the FM forum for recommendations.
