Tony_Tarantula on 29/9/2017 at 12:39

---

Sounds awful. Last summer I was working with the project lead for an effort that involved a complete revamp of how one of the German speaking banks (one of the top 5 in the world by total deposits) reports their deposit data for the consolidated entity. Not only was the work god-awful since I spent most of my time dealing with interfaces that felt like I was still in Windows 3.1, but the bureaucracy was the kind of place where (no shit) even correcting spelling change in project documents required updating three different trackers that each had to be approved by both the in-house project lead and the consulting team's project lead. Add on top of that the OCD tendencies and the perpetual air of vague panic that come with Germanic culture and you can probably imagine how crazy that one.




Good to hear. My massive clan of in-laws has some people with significant health issues and community support makes a huge difference. It helps that my father in law is very active in his church community and his organization did a lot to help them pull through.

And yeah, 6 hours is a massive relief. Where I'm working now I generally get 6 hours total of free time during the week so I can see how much you could do with that.

Do you have access to any support groups or community organizations? I've always found that when you're dealing with a shitty situation the single biggest saving grace is if you have friends or people in the local community to support you through the troubles, even if it's as simple as just emotional support.





Yeah, I can relate. There's a few of those finer skills I've struggled with....some people might have wanted to diagnose me, but I think it's more a personality flaw where I simply don't give enough of a shit and am more interested in being right. It makes me a great at helping friends get out of shitty situations, less so when people need a shoulder to cry on. Being married definitely helped but..... well, that "asshole" part is still there and working in finance definitely doesn't help that tendency. It's still been a hell of a slog getting myself up to the point where I can actually compete and function in this world.

OK, I've got a suggestion if you're open to it. Try Toastmasters the public speaking group. I've seen some truly brilliant improvements in my old club. We had a guy with severe disabilities who had, through the organization, become such an amazingly good orator that he was easily the best storyteller I've ever seen and won numerous tall tale competitions. If there is ever an NPR show about folk-tales they need to hire him to read it. I also saw a guy come in who was so shy/socially dysfunctional that he could barely speak to a group. Within 6 months of regular attendance he was standing up giving speeches better than your average scrub giving a wedding toast.

Also look at sales seminars. Don't laugh here, but Jordan Belfort's material is great at that. He spends most of the time talking about himself but his specific tips on how to control the tonality of a social interaction are gold and good enough to justify the total time investment. I noticed an immediate improvement in results from networking calls after studying it.

scumble on 29/9/2017 at 17:59

---

Could be worse. At least I get a nice car to drive. A nice German car... I've seen some of the ridiculous bureaucracy you speak of. For me the problem is miserly under-resourcing rather than that mind you.



Some of it sounds similar - I've got no idea whether you're on the spectrum though. I think my isolation has less to do with being shy or not being around people, it's generally feeling disconnected, out of sync with interests of people my age. I've considered volunteering as a way to meet people in the right setting mind you, and like you say some group may be useful. Don't know if I'm that interested in public speaking specifically. Most of my trouble is around sensory problems making most social things hard to follow so group situations may become unpleasant even when there's some common interest. I think I've been prevented from developing very far because I got into a bad relationship too early as well, so I lost a lot of time there. It's all quite complicated. Very hard to shed old emotional stress. It's probably getting better mind you...

montag on 1/10/2017 at 01:38

---

wtf

plumbing problem here! lil monster may have flushed depends, wish me luck

mxleader on 1/10/2017 at 07:03

---

I recently started my 2nd new job since moving from the Northwest to Arizona two years ago. It's soooo hard to find good coffee here but the beer is okay. I've been so busy trolling Facebook groups that I haven't been around here in a while. Is everyone still alive?

montag on 2/10/2017 at 00:31

---

She already did that a couple years ago. The first safety toilet seat/grab rails thingie I installed on her toilet just clamped on, somehow she managed to undo it. That left her with just the large bowl on the toilet itself, which was big enough for her to drop into. Once I was satisfied that she hadn't injured herself, I had a good laugh about having to pull her ass out of the toilet bowl.
Since I can't be arsed to figure out what I'm doing wrong with Multi-Quote:

@scumble I'm living off my substantial savings! Seriously, I have been able to pick up a few jobs building built-in bookcases/closet organizers. I can only take on relatively simple projects, ones that I can go and take measurements, then build them here and then go back for just a few hours to install them. I also run a little business out of my garage building engines and installing forced-induction kits and doing suspension work for some old customers and their friends. (I live fairly close to a local race track called Mid-Ohio, and have a handful of good connections there) If I can keep her from falling and breaking anymore bones, I think I can manage for a few more years.

@Harvester Congrats! I'm really glad to hear good news from you, and I really appreciate you taking time to give your support to me. I know what you are going through is much tougher than anything I am dealing with. Best of luck to you, and keep on keeping on.

@Tony You may be surprised to learn that You are part of my support group. I have always tried to find time to check in on a few forums that I am a member of, and even more so lately. I stay pretty current with CommChat and Gen Gaming, and I really enjoy this forum more than any other than I am a member of, even though I can't post with any regularity. I always read your (and everyone's here) posts and links, and I have to admit (begrudgingly) that you often make some good points, and forced me to reevaluate some of my own positions. Don't let that go to your head though, I'm still basically a left-leaning gun owner who wants free healthcare for my mother, but not for me, and have never collected unemployment but believe that some people deserve it, the whole world would be better off if the USA would just butt out, but we can't just cut ourselves off from the rest of the world. As far as real support groups go, the trouble is, if you have to keep eyes-on your family member 24/7, you don't have time to go to a support group meeting. Plus, support groups are for pussies! Just kidding, but I am more of the swallow all the bad stuff, and just deal with it, nobody ever died from an ulcer school. (or did they?) But really, taking care of the little monster isn't the worse thing in the world. So she poops on the floor sometimes, and then plays with it, is that so bad? (I just wrote that!) It was pretty horrifying when her "lady" parts turned themselves inside-out, but the surgery for that went well, so that's in the past for good now. In the meantime, she is still (for the most part) happy. If it were me, I would rather be dead, but I want her to hang around for awhile. It's funny, but I am much more fond of her now, even when I have to help her clean her butt, than I ever was in the past. Also, and I believe you are also a fan, I try to find time almost one night a week to play a few rounds of MWO. So protect your armor, if it's missing or low, my Locust will be there to rape you. I have machine guns, and I'm not afraid to use them!