Ostriig on 22/9/2009 at 17:41

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While we're sharing stories, here's my latest one. Well, "breaking in" isn't really accurate, since the little fucker climbed in through an open window, but hey.

It's about 10:30 last night, I'm sitting at my desk, upstairs, with TTLG in front and Eric Clapton playing. Good thing it wasn't on the headphones. Was supposed to go to a party, where my room mate was at the time, but came down with a fever on Sunday so I bailed. Lights are off throughout the house, and we forgot the bathroom window open, towards the backyard. Now, this is a small window, 50cm wide by 30 tall, but it appears to have sufficed.

My door's half open, and suddenly, over the dying accents of Cocaine, I hear some serious rattling downstairs. Might've been the window blinds or the dishes in the kitchen drawers. And I'm thinking, "did the shower curtain fall again, or is Mikey back already? No, doesn't sound like either". I put on a shirt (I'm always shirtless when posting on TTLG), open the door and turn on the light to the staircase. Suddenly, what little rattling there was stops. I start going down the stairs, making no effort to muffle my steps.

Now I'm downstairs, to my left is the back of the house - livingroom, kitchen, and bathroom; to my right, my other room mate's bedroom. I look towards the living, and it's pitch black. I am likely to be eaten by a grue. I open the door to my right, and flip on the light (since the switch to the living is on the opposite wall), but I can still only see as far as into livingroom. Bear in mind this all takes place in a handful of seconds. And I hadn't thought to come downstairs armed. Since the living's clear, I start at a fair pace towards the light switch on the other side of it, but I only get about one meter into the room when I hear this loud rattling again, clearly coming from the bathroom. I get to the light, and flip it on, but the house is empty ahead of me.

I keep going towards the bathroom, turning on every light along the way, but once there I look around and find nothing. Except for the Emergency Toilet Roll®, which we keep next to the window, behind the plastic blinds, knocked over into the toilet. The little cockshit knocked it over when he crawled out the window again.

The way I figure, once I turned on the staircase light and starting coming down, he ran into the bathroom hoping I wouldn't see him in the dark (which I didn't) and that I'd go back up, and he could make a clean getaway. But when I started into the livingroom instead of back up the stairs, he bolted out as quick as he could. Which I'm actually happy for.

Once I decided it was someone, not something, that had come in, I went back up stairs to grab my Swiss knife (Christ knows why I didn't grab one of bigger kitchen knives right next to me) and a flashlight, and I went to check out the backyard, but he was thankfully long gone. It did make me realise, though, that we need a stronger security light in the backyard. And, of course, that it's better to run the lights on in the livingroom in the evening, even when not there, and that the fucking windows need to be closed at all times when not there. Something my room mate didn't seem to believe when I first told him last year.

Anyway, long story short, now I own a cricket bat.

D'Juhn Keep on 22/9/2009 at 17:54

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Are you sure it wasn't a ghost

Sulphur on 22/9/2009 at 18:18

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I'll have to admit, this part interested me far more than the rest. There's something about TTLG that just demands that much more from its members


...okay. Seriously, like Matthew says, keep the damn windows closed. You're lucky that the thief seemed to be the overly nervy and scared shitless sort. Maybe he wasn't able to fully contend with the idea of a half-naked Ostriig wielding a deadly weapon and stalking him through the dead of the night. :p

All right. More seriously: nothing stolen, right? Screw the cricket bat, consider getting yourself a dog if you can take care of it. A German Shepherd or other guard dog breed would do nicely.

Ostriig on 22/9/2009 at 18:39

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Nah, nothing got stolen, luckily. He didn't have enough time. And there wasn't much stuff to pocket anyway.

I'm only gonna be here for another year, likely, and I don't think any one of the three of us would want to manage a dog. I think our landlord could be swayed, if need be, but I don't think the others are interested in one either. As for the thief, he probably saw the open window and, since the lights were off, assumed we were either out or asleep. I suspect he wasn't counting on or willing to put up with an encounter, and I'm very happy about that.

Pity you can't own a sword here. Back home you can have one in your house (iirc), you're just not allowed to carry blades on your person outside. If, God forbid, it comes down to a situation where you actually have to defend yourself, it's probably the best weapon to have short of a firearm. I don't mean a Katana, but something like a Spatha - 70-100 cm, double-edged, tapers to a point. Still light enough to be wieldy, but long enough to keep your enemy at a distance and can't be grabbed.

We've definitely changed our window policy around here. But, really, shit like this is the biggest reason I prefer flats to houses.


In Soviet Romania, ghost runs from you!


Also guys, if my memory serves me well, I'm among the more clothed posters around here. Where's Queue?

SubJeff on 22/9/2009 at 18:50

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First off what an irony to be ghosted whilst on TTLG.

And forget cricket bats, get youself a bokken. :p