Six blades & two moisturising strips: Er, no thanks

Ulukai on 18/9/2006 at 19:40

So we've talked about shaving before but bear with me.

Like many of you here, I shave my face so hair doesn't accumulate on it. Usually, in the hurry to get to work this is done in a shitty and hurried fashion with an electric shaver. It gets the job done.

But, y'know, at weekends, I like to shave properly. Get a nice hot bowl of water, some foam, a sharp razor and take my time. Now usually, the weapon of choice in this situation is a Gilette Mach 3 Turbo. It's got three blades and a lubricating strip, but it's a damn fine razor and it feels smooooth.

But I gets back from the supermarket this evening and notice that the most expensive thing I bought was these blades. £4.18, for four, to be precise. I spent less on alcohol. This is not good. I spent more on shaving my face than on liquid for getting off it.

Of course, the Other Company brought out the Quattro, with 4 blades. Haha! We laughed at that. Who stumps up for 4 blades when 3 works so perfectly?

And now what do we have? Yes, it's the Gilette Fusion. 5 Main Blades, moisturising strips on both sides and a 'trimmer' blade on the back. Wait, thats six fucking blades? How much is this? It's not like this shit is cheap when there's three blades on these things.

"The Fusion will also be available in a power version and features a micro-chip that regulates the voltage and blade action. "

Seriously, (http://money.cnn.com/2005/09/14/news/fortune500/gillette/) what the fuck. Micro-chips? In MY razor blades? Voltage regulation?

"Other high-tech features include a low battery indicator light and a safety switch that shuts the razor down after eight minutes of continuous operation."

Mmnnphgh. Are we so stupid that not only do they think I'm going to fork out for this but that I need it to stop vibrating after 8 minutes in case I've failed to remove all traces of hair with six blades and two moisturising strips and am running the risk of developing a rash?

I'm not paying for six blades, two moisturising strips, battery lights and a vibrator when 3 blades does the job just fine. So there's a manual version too, but that's still 3 more blades than anyone actually needs. They also seem to have spent more money designing the handle than Daewoo spend on how their cars (http://uk.cars.yahoo.com/car-reviews/car-and-driving/daewoo-lanos-2002355.html) look.

Dear (http://www.gillettefusion.com/us/) retardation committee at Razor Blade Wars HQ. Here's what I want. It's really very, very simple:

* I want reasonably priced razor blades that don't take my face off.

One blade would be fine, if it did the job. Those shitty orange things that make a spade feel sharp? Don't make me laugh.

You could call it I dunno, "Blade" or something. And it could be affordable. It's not too much to ask, is it? Oh, it is :(

Gingerbread Man on 18/9/2006 at 19:57

I'm just amazed how something that was a flat-out joke only a few years ago has been taken with deadly seriousness to its ridiculous manifestation. Considering that pretty much everyone agrees that the absolute best shave is obtained using a single blade that doesn't have a battery anywhere near it, why would anyone think more blades is the answer? Oh wait "more = better" I forgot.

Also what the fuck is it with the orange / blue bullshit? That's so 2004.

Plus also I hereby award you ten points for "Razor Blade Wars HQ"

Anyway, I firmly believe that anyone feebleminded enough to fall for this sort of shit isn't possibly able to grow a decent enough amount of hair to warrant a Testosterone Card, let alone a decent razor. Seems to me that the more blades you add and the more lubricating strips you add the closer you are getting to a precision tool which can shave the fuzz of a peach without damaging its oh-so-tender skin. Which is precisely what these stupid things end up being used for.

There's a reason they're next to Axe on the shelf.

Agent Monkeysee on 18/9/2006 at 20:14

Quote Posted by Gingerbread Man

Seems to me that the more blades you add and the more lubricating strips you add the closer you are getting to a precision tool which can shave the fuzz of a peach without damaging its oh-so-tender skin.

Man I don't see what's bad about that. I need something that doesn't damage my beautiful baby skin :(

My problem is I'm cursed with thick man hair but girly soft skin which means any tool sharp enough to cut through the forest is also strong enough to till the topsoil and leave me hating life for a day or so.

For that reason I simply can't abide by blades. I've tried and they cut me all to shit. Blades make my skin all irritable which makes it get all rough and cuttable which makes me get all bleedable.

I use an electric razor but even those can be hell. In fact I even cut myself on one somehow the other day :confused: I didn't even know that was possible.

Regardless the end result is I've always hated shaving and everything related to shaving. I had an out for a while as a dirty computer geek where I could get away with not shaving for days on end but now with the girlie in the picture I have to stay smooth on a semi-civilized basis or she punches me :(

Vigil on 18/9/2006 at 20:14

Problem is that as these things come out, they start phasing out the earlier, less bladey models - I had to chuck my perfectly decent two-bladed Gilette Sensor because they no longer sold blades for it. There's a growing gap between those horrible orange face-raping Bics and the 6-bladed ilk.

David on 18/9/2006 at 20:19

I use one of those two-blade Gillette Sensor Excel as well and the only place I can find that stills sells blades for them is the huge-ass Tesco, nowhere else.

Recently when the aforementioned huge-ass Tesco was out of stock of the blades I bought a pack of expensive-for-disposable-but-still-cheaper-than-a-Mach-3 disposable razors with a couple of blades and was surprised that they didn't rip the crap out of my face, so much so that if the Sensor Excel blades are discontinued I'd go for the disposable ones over a Mach 3, or Mach 7 or whatever the hell is out at that point in time.

SlyFoxx on 18/9/2006 at 20:20

Quote:

...two moisturising strips, battery lights and a vibrator ....

Sounds more like dildo than a razor.:erm:

Quote:

I had to chuck my perfectly decent two-bladed Gilette Sensor because they no longer sold blades for it.

Me too. Right now I've got a Mach 3. Hard to get that little bit right under my nose. But I can now shave at three times the speed of sound! Good thing for Sam's club (wholesale store) selling the blades. They come to about a dollar apiece but you've got to by about 30 of them at a time.

CyberFish on 18/9/2006 at 20:22

Well, you could always wax, I guess.

Turtle on 18/9/2006 at 20:30

The Fusion blades are ridiculously expensive, but they shave <b>so</b> much nicer than my Mach3.
Much smoother and gentler.
Unfortunately, I only have the one(5) blade that came with my free Fusion and it's all shaved out.
:(

I'm waiting for Meijer to come out with their generic Fusion blades, then I'll probably start using them.
But yes, that many blades is retarded. Soon they will reach the point of diminishing returns.
Or perhaps, they will end up with the razor from SNL with the 45 blades or whatever it was.

TheOutrider on 18/9/2006 at 20:59

Quote Posted by Vigil

Hilariously enough, they ARE still selling blades for the two-bladed no-moisturiser no-moving blades bullshit GII, which is ancient. I started shaving with a GII, which my father gave me back then. That was ten years ago, and my father has been using this very razor for as long as I can think.
I did chuck my GII when I was in the US and saw that I'd have had to pay three times the amount of a set of five GII blades for what a Mach3 including three blades would cost me.

I think what I'm trying to say is "fuck you, Razor Blade War HQ", much like everyone else already did.

CyberFish on 18/9/2006 at 21:16

You can also neatly skip the whole sordid affair by buying a straight razor and learning to use it. Although the razor and all the kit you need to go with it (badger-hair shaving brushes what?) will set you back a fair bit, it lasts forever and probably works out cheaper in the long run. The only problem is the extra time you spend on it.