Vivian on 4/10/2010 at 10:32
Maybe you suck? Dunno, just a suggestion. Generally if you can't get anyone to like you its because you're looking in the wrong places or you are, in fact, unlikeable.
Shug on 4/10/2010 at 11:04
Vivian sounds like she's keen on you, utilize the handy private message function!
Fingernail on 4/10/2010 at 11:08
The thing about the kind of deep relationship you seek to build is that it takes time and doesn't necessarily offer the same kind of immediate rewards as just sex does. You don't just get it after a couple of dates no matter how much both parties might hold it as an ideal.
And therein lies the risk and the reluctance; there must come a point in a young relationship at which you have to decide whether to dedicate more time to this project of intimacy, or that since it hasn't quite happened by that point, to abandon it in favour of starting afresh. I'm sure I've met people who are basically together to "make it work" because they value the dream of a long-term, stable and intimate relationship more than they value each other as individuals. But that's their call, it certainly has the advantage of avoiding a degree of scrutiny, and offers regular sex without having to scour bars or clubs or restrooms or craigslist or whatever.
You may also wish to question what it is that makes you seek to deny your sexual impulses (whatever they may be) - these things, whilst you may frown upon certain behaviours you see around you, shouldn't be cheapened by anyone else's actions, and are after all a part of you. Whether or not you wish to discuss them with anyone, you ought to be honest with yourself.
A further strategy to avoid backing yourself into a corner over people is to avoid labelling people you don't really know. You meet a girl, she's from a "broken home", suddenly you cease to percieve a person and her character is unfairly simplified to the stereotype you have constructed. Congratulations, a person who has all the potential to change your life is now shut out! How many people, I wonder, would balk at your history of depression? My suspicion is that if you met a girl you really like and click with, you'd overlook the fact her parents were divorced anyway, so perhaps it's just excuse-making? And if you really believe it's genetic, I don't know what to tell you.
So, in many ways, the reason there seems to be no one like this in the world, is that if you met yourself you probably wouldn't want to have a relationship with you. AND YET YOU EXPECT SOMEONE ELSE TO????
PS. You'll need a good wingman. Someone who's got your back. And always be closing the deal.
Tenkahubu on 4/10/2010 at 11:15
get a fleshlight
SD on 4/10/2010 at 11:44
Quote Posted by duckman
I'm Christian but I'd date anyone who was Jewish Mormon, Islam ect because I think the real necessity is to believe in God not the nitty gritty details. (So sorry atheists you aren't my type ;)
Quote Posted by duckman
About 4/5 of all my friends and everyone I know are Atheists.
Here's my advice: don't arbitrarily exclude upwards of 80% of your potential partners just because they don't share your Stone Age fantasies.
Face facts - you don't really believe in them yourself anyway, else you wouldn't be having sex before marriage in the first place.
Vivian on 4/10/2010 at 11:53
Quote Posted by Shug
Vivian sounds like she's keen on you, utilize the handy private message function!
I'm a male. But sure, pm away duckman! no god stuff.
Scots Taffer on 4/10/2010 at 11:57
Shug's pretty aware of that, Viv.
Vivian on 4/10/2010 at 12:19
Duckman may not be. And openness is very important at this stage in our relationship.
Kolya on 4/10/2010 at 12:41
Sounds less like sexual frustration and more like plain old loneliness.
