Ghostly Apparition on 16/9/2007 at 21:13
I don't post much personal stuff on the web either. Suffice it to say that 10 years ago I would have killed to have the problems you think you have. I survived, and so can you.
How anyone can be down with that beautiful little boy to come home too is beyond me. Enjoy your son, and life. Its too short to miss out on.
Make a plan and stick to it.
scumble on 16/9/2007 at 22:46
Quote Posted by Ghostly Apparition
How anyone can be down with that beautiful little boy to come home too is beyond me.
That's the problem you see, I can't quite figure out what's wrong with me at the moment. I can rationally appreciate what everyone is saying, but I still feel pretty awful. Or I am not feeling anything much at all.
Well, I have to say that my son does cheer me up immensely when I get home - I'd be in a sorry state if that wasn't the case, but when I'm not around him I feel a bit, well, desolate. Watching a film with my wife entertained me a little this evening but I'm back down again now. It's all very frustrating.
Scots Taffer on 17/9/2007 at 00:31
Quote Posted by scumble
That's the problem you see, I can't quite figure out what's wrong with me at the moment. I can rationally appreciate what everyone is saying, but I still feel pretty awful. Or I am not feeling anything much at all.
Trust me, I understand
exactly what you're saying - the truth is, you probably need a break. If you could even do one full day away from home, away from the family, no contact at all, and then come back, you'd be probably be surprised how much you miss them and how it can all come back into perspective.
San Fran really helped me realise how important the wife and child are to me, yet at the same time, I needed a break.
Rogue Keeper on 17/9/2007 at 07:01
Quote Posted by scumble
Working inside local government can make one very cynical about the whole institution generally
Similarly here.
Quote:
I've long since abandoned right-libertarian modes of thought and wandered back leftwards.
Welcome!
Quote:
...that phase probably contributed to depression because I was turning into something I dislike - a stubborn twit waving an ideology about.
Again, similarly here.
I'm a gov rat myself, but at least I have some feeling in the backround that the outcome of my work may eventually serve to people in need - refugees. But I consider to change my career path and try some human rights NGO.
I guess we have something in common afterall. ;)
scumble on 17/9/2007 at 13:24
Quote Posted by Scots Taffer
Trust me, I understand
exactly what you're saying - the truth is, you probably need a break. If you could even do one full day away from home, away from the family, no contact at all, and then come back, you'd be probably be surprised how much you miss them and how it can all come back into perspective.
San Fran really helped me realise how important the wife and child are to me, yet at the same time, I needed a break.
Yes, you've made a very big life transition with a pretty major emigration and had to set up home without any support from family (in the personal sense). I can only admire your resolve there.
I think a break might do - it's possible the doctor might sign me off so there could be time so I can readjust myself.
Quote Posted by BR796164
I'm a gov rat myself, but at least I have some feeling in the backround that the outcome of my work may eventually serve to people in need - refugees. But I consider to change my career path and try some human rights NGO.
I guess we have something in common afterall. ;)
It's worse if you're in the backoffice situation - IT departments are usually a bit removed from the front line so one's work appears to have a lot less relevance to anything useful. It's rare that I see something where I think taxpayer's money has been well spent. At least some workers have a sense of making small differences despite the bureaucracy. I reckon the best I've been able to do is make some people's jobs slightly less tedious.
Dia on 17/9/2007 at 14:16
Quote Posted by scumble
I think a break might do - it's possible the doctor might sign me off so there could be time so I can readjust myself.
Too much introspection is not healthy. I've noticed that when people are depressed they seem to have surrounded themselves with themselves. You can be your own worst enemy right now. As I said before, it's a long, slow climb out of that hole; but it can be done. Scots had some excellent advice with which I agree. Seems that once you've been away for a couple days (or more) things start snapping back into place and you suddenly realize what's important in your life. So I'd say give it a try.
And if that doesn't work, see your doctor (again).
P.S. Sorry for going all platitude-ish.
LesserFollies on 17/9/2007 at 15:36
Quote Posted by scumble
That's the problem you see, I can't quite figure out what's wrong with me at the moment. I can rationally appreciate what everyone is saying, but I still feel pretty awful. Or I am not feeling anything much at all.
Well, I have to say that my son does cheer me up immensely when I get home - I'd be in a sorry state if that wasn't the case, but when I'm not around him I feel a bit, well, desolate. Watching a film with my wife entertained me a little this evening but I'm back down again now. It's all very frustrating.
Textbook mild to moderate depression. It happens to the best and brightest of us, and sometimes, given the state of the world, I wonder about the people who DON'T get it. Go see your doctor right now; there's no shame in it. Do it for your wife and son, if not for yourself.
Edit: I see from reading the thread more carefully (duh) that you've already been to see your doctor. Good. Follow his advice, and remember, this won't last forever. Latch on to the basics: sun, food, the smell of your son's hair after a bath, stuff like that, and HANG ON TIGHT.
scumble on 18/9/2007 at 09:09
Well, I hadn't actually until about half an hour after you posted, Follies. I got some medication to try, so I'll see how that goes.
Typically, I was waiting for an hour to be seen and read a feature about teenage pregnancy, some guy who died alone in his apartment at 40 and wasn't noticed for two days, an interview with Paul Weller and another one with AntOrDec. I don't think it helped much...
LesserFollies on 19/9/2007 at 17:10
That's why I always take a book along. Good luck with that! Hope you feel better soon. :thumb:
scumble on 20/9/2007 at 08:35
I'm actually taking Citalopram, which makes me feel a little weird to start with. It's supposed to take up to a couple of weeks to work properly, but I think I can tell it makes an improvement as the dose tails off at the end of the day.
