Queue on 22/9/2010 at 16:10
I just got off the phone with someone trying to sell me windows, because winter is a comin', and, baby, it gets cold outside. But, I don't want any windows, or asked anyone to call me about windows, nor do I want to sit here and listen to a sales pitch about windows. Yet I invite these things by not being on the "No Call List". Now, you may ask, "Hey, Queue, why aren't you on the no call list?" Because, even though getting these annoying calls are, well, annoying they do add endless amounts of entertainment to my otherwise mundane day. Take this example: my friend the window salesman now has an appointment to measure and give me a quote for my little abode here in Owosso at 224 Curwood Castle Drive.
Inline Image:
http://www.ohiobarns.com/othersites/castles/mi/22-78-C1.jpegWon't this just make his day?
So I figure everyone likes to mess with telemarketers, and these are some of my personal favorites from the past that I've used to give the conversation a slightly uncomfortable twist:
- Once you seem good and hooked, ask the caller, "Do you ever have rape fantasies?"
- During the "Becoming Your Friend" period of their schtick, ask the caller, "Do you have kids?" If the answer is: Yes then add "I bet they're little goers, aren't they?"; if No then add "Yeah, mine are dead too."
- If you have caller ID, and know it's a telemarketer from the start, pretend you're Chinese and go on and on in broken English about how you hate America.
- Pretend you're mildly retarded, and get really, really angry with the caller.
- Ask the caller if he/she can hurry this up because, "...the dog is losing interest, and this peanut butter is starting to itch."
- During the "Becoming Your Friend" bullshit, tell the caller you where in Vietnam, then allow to conversation to slowly digress into screaming about how I lost my leg.
Anyone else?
Matthew on 22/9/2010 at 17:34
My dad shouted at a telemarketer to stop calling him one time, then the bloody supervisor called us back to complain. He got short shrift, understandably.
rachel on 22/9/2010 at 18:11
This is probably the best telemarketer prank I've ever heard
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Personnally I just stay silent until they hang up. Can you believe some last more than a minute before giving up!
SubJeff on 22/9/2010 at 19:24
I've heard that before and yes I do like it :D
The only "telemarket" calls I get these days are recorded and of course I put the phone down straight away. When I did get people calling offering my mobile phone deals I'd wait til they told me the deal then offer THEM a better one. The calls always ended with them being speechless.
Enchantermon on 22/9/2010 at 20:17
I love that one as well, raph. :thumb:
Stitch on 22/9/2010 at 21:22
The funniest telemarketer prank ever is the one where I hang up right away and move on with my evening :laff:
PeeperStorm on 23/9/2010 at 00:56
One of the guys that I used to share a house with had an ugly little pre-scripted screaming argument drama set up with his girlfriend, which they'd do for the benefit of telemarketers.
Bluegrime on 23/9/2010 at 15:38
Also good for telemarketers: Freudian psycho babble
"I can offer you up to a 15% discount on car insurance!"
"But how does that make YOU feel?"
Aerothorn on 24/9/2010 at 13:11
Actually, my personal creed is "Be nice to strangers on the phone, because their life probably sucks more than yours."
addink on 24/9/2010 at 13:33
To extrapolate some on that logic:
"Be nice to burglars in your house, because their life probably sucks more than yours."
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Telemarketers get very little leeway from me. As soon as I detect I'm dealing with one, I interrupt the overly long introduction sentence, and explain to them in a calm and clear voice that I'm not interested in any product, service or advice they care to offer me. That if they do continue their story whilst knowing my answer will be 'No', that then I _will_ be verbally abusive.
Great stress relief.. I'm not kidding.
I am nice to strangers, just not to strangers who aren't nice to me.
