Macha on 3/1/2010 at 22:09
That was very emotive and caused some reflection on me and my own. I hope you find the strength to get through and back on track.
Mr.Duck on 4/1/2010 at 04:22
*Stands next to frozen, silently placing a hand over his shoulder and squeezing it*
BEAR on 4/1/2010 at 05:22
Best of luck frozenman. You and I are the same age, and my mother is the the same exact age as your mother was. This gave me a lot to think about. I've tried without much luck to remind myself that day is coming, but somehow I don't think I'll ever be ready, and Im sorry you are having to deal with it so early.
Be strong and remember that we don't have nearly the power for good or ill that we sometimes think we do. In hindsight we could always do better than we do, but not nearly so much as we think we could.
Ostriig on 4/1/2010 at 21:21
I am sorry for your loss, frozenman. And as much as guilt tugs at you, you are right that it is no way your fault, not with the moving, not with anything, and I am certain your mother would not have wanted you to stay behind and pass on starting your own life. Rest assured she knew you loved her, you were there for her, both you and your brother.
Muzman on 4/1/2010 at 23:06
Cheers for writing that up twice. I think I probably would have stopped at once or a half.
None of my immediate family have died, but A few of my relatives have gone recently. People say at times like this things like "Life goes on" like it's a good thing, when it often seems like the cruelest aspect of all.
Good luck with it.
Albert on 5/1/2010 at 04:09
Death has been happening alot lately, it's so depressing, though we'll manage.
Froz, I give you my condolences and hope you can pull through. :(
Sulphur on 5/1/2010 at 08:24
Sorry to hear about your loss, frozenman. My condolences to you and the rest of the family. I know something of how you must feel, having faced and continuing to face similar events in my own family - though thankfully my parents are still with us after everything that's happened so far. I can imagine how harrowing it must have been, and still be for you.
I wish you all the strength and peace of mind you need to carry on. And I'm sure your mother knew that you loved her, because inside, though they might not always show it... parents always do.
Matthew on 5/1/2010 at 15:46
Condolences to you and to the family circle, frozenman. :(
Stitch on 5/1/2010 at 15:52
I keep rereading this thread in an attempt to come up with some words of support but everything seems kind of hollow when compared to the enormity of your loss :(
So just this: shit. Don't be too hard on yourself, mang. Hang in there.
frozenman on 5/1/2010 at 18:54
Again thank you for all the <3 - and Stitch don't feel bad I know if I were in your position I would be borderline speechless.
Next week I'll be heading back down to MD to start finishing up on my mother's estate. She was a big collector of random antique shit from Vermont, which will make it hard to figure out exactly what to do with. In case anyone didn't know, basically the only thing people do in Vermont is buy and sell antiques- bottles, ancient COOKWARE, and so on and so forth.
A bit of silver lining- I learned that my mother had an intact life insurance policy as well as retirement fund, which will get split between my brother and I, so combined with the consignment of her condo and anything worthwhile therein (car), I'll be getting an uncomfortable amount of money. I'm trying to restrain any sense of joy, but it's good to know I could go back to school, go traveling, take a 3 month sabbatical to Indonesia to study gamelan, etc.
I'm also trying to look on the bright side this way: all of this has opened my eyes to the fact that a great deal of my own personal problems are related to my mother- addictive personality traits that need to be kept seriously in check, introverted to the point of unreasonable and not being able to communicate things to family and friends, a stagnant who-gives-a-shit-about-the-future personality...I mean my mother lived basically in a Fraggle-rock style trash-heap, didn't care about herself, only others, and was somehow able to get by. I don't know why that didn't occur to me earlier as being a bad influence- maybe I just tried to block it out (likely). Either way, I hope that those parts of me, now that she's gone, will be able to thaw out and I can finally get on with my life.
I'm not usually the kind to blog shit out this forum, but hopefully it'll dampen some of the heart-crawling-out-mouth sadness that is this thread.
Thanks for listening guys
