Keeper Mallinson on 22/5/2010 at 19:23

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Just thought you guys would like to see what I just wrote up. 8) Note: this isn't the actual ceremony, but something fun for our friends.

[ENTER OFFICIANT]

OFFICIANT, WITH POWERFUL GRAVITAS AND FLOURISHES OF HAND GESTURES ALONG WITH THE STORY:
"With fire and steel did the gods forge the Klingon heart. So fiercely did it beat, so loud was the

sound, that the gods cried out, 'On this day, we have brought forth the strongest heart in all the

heavens. None can stand before it without trembling in its strength'. But then the Klingon heart

weakened; its steady rhythm faltered, and the gods said, "Why have you weakened so? We have made you

the strongest in all of creation!

[ENTER GROOM]

OFFICIANT:
"And the heart said..."

GROOM:
"I am alone."

OFFICIANT:
"And the gods knew that they had erred, so they went back to their forge, and brought forth another

heart."

[OFFICIANT GESTURES TOWARDS ENTRY POINT OF BRIDE]

[ENTER BRIDE, WITH GRAND GRAVITAS AND FLOURISH, WHO APPROACHES STAGE]

[ENTER BEST MAN, HOLDING TWO WEAPONS]

[BEST MAN BOWS, AND HANDS THE WEAPONS TO GROOM AND BRIDE]

OFFICIANT:
"But the second heart beat stronger than the first. The first was jealous of its power."

[BRIDE AND GROOM CLASH WEAPONS ONE TIME, BRIDE DEFLECTS BLOW AND HOLDS WEAPON TO GROOM'S NECK.]

OFFICIANT:
"Fortunately, the second heart was tempered by wisdom."

BRIDE:
"If we join together, no force can stop us."

[BRIDE AND GROOM HAND WEAPONS TO BEST MAN]

OFFICIANT:
"And when the two hearts began to beat together, they filled the heavens with a terrible sound."

[Kyle's note: should we roar facetiously here? Part of me thinks that would be funny.]

OFFICIANT:
"For the first time, the gods knew fear. They tried to flee, but it was too late. The Klingon hearts

destroyed the gods who created them, and turned the heavens to ashes. To this very day, no one can

oppose the beating... of two Klingon hearts.

[PAUSE TO INDICATE END OF CREATION STORY, OR APPLAUSE]

OFFICIANT:
"Kyle, son of Mallin: does your heart beat only for this woman?"

GROOM:
"Yes."

OFFICIANT:
"And will you swear to join with her and stand with her against all who oppose you?"

GROOM:
"I swear."

OFFICIANT:
"Lisa the Slaughterer: does your heart beat only for this man?"

BRIDE:
"Yes."

OFFICIANT:
"And will you swear to join with him and stand with him against all who oppose you?"

BRIDE:
"I swear."

OFFICIANT:
"Then let all present here today know that this man, and this woman, are married!"

[BRIDE AND GROOM KISS. BRIDE BOWS TO THE OFFICIANT, OFFICIANT WELCOMES BRIDE TO THE HOUSE OF

MALLINSON, AND OFFICIANT AND BRIDE EMBRACE. THEN, BEST FRIENDS OF BRIDE AND GROOM ATTACK THE BRIDE

AND GROOM SCREAMING, THE BRIDE AND GROOM FIGHT THEM OFF, RAISE THEIR FISTS OR WEAPONS IN VICTORY, AND

MAKE OUT.]

Nameless Voice on 22/5/2010 at 19:48

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Someone's been watching DS9...

Keeper Mallinson on 22/5/2010 at 21:19

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And proud of it!

This will have about 100 people there. We're gathering at the place where we perform poetry competitively, in front of all our friends.

Keeper Mallinson on 22/5/2010 at 21:39

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The men also duck. For obvious reasons.

Queue on 23/5/2010 at 00:56

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Why is it with these words that it always goes horribly wrong?