Jusal on 7/2/2007 at 15:29
My apologies if these have been posted before:
Hadst I a hammer
Wouldst I hammer in the morning
But in the evening wouldst I hammer no more
For I hit my finger in the morning.
- Collected Letters of Brother-in-Pain
Johnny wuzz here!!1
- Unknown Novice, the Statue of Saint Edgar
imperialreign on 7/2/2007 at 22:09
Message found posted on the door at a undisclosed Hammer Disciple training barracks:
"Just a reminder, people . . . if you have to make use of the
Builder's lavatory during prayer hours, please ensure to
activate the "Holy Waste Aquatic Flush (HWAF)" mechanism before
returning to your ordained duties!! Simply put, only the Builder
himself is holy enough to leave waste for everyone to see,
and if by chance you have clogged the HWAF plumbing,
that 4 and 1/2 foot handle attached to your general issue
"Pagan Persuader" can be used to easily force that waste down!
This is the last time we will inform you of our complaint!!
-The Builder's Janitorial staff"
Message found later that week:
"It seems the Builder has blessed us with a real jokester in
our midst! The lavatories have been closed until further notice.
Latrines have been dug alond the eastern side of the temple
grounds, by-side of the fencing that borders Marketplace Street,
you may commence your unmentionables there.
-The Builder's Janitorial staff"
Excerpt from Karras' personal diary, vol. II:
"Lefty-loosey, Righty-tighty! Lefty-loosey, Righty-tighty!!"
Jusal on 9/2/2007 at 08:44
The Order has too many saints today!
Who is next? You? Me? Ha!
Like that is ever going to happen.
- Words of Saint Ofram
godofgamers on 10/2/2007 at 01:58
"What bes that you havers, Bitterdew?
Bes thats a grammar booksie?
If you bes saying like them Hammerheads,
Me and them Woodsie One bes deading you quick!"
- Overheard Pagan Dialogue
"They worship me, and all I touch,
Metal-eyed, they catch my glance.
Pleasant shudders shock their systems,
My warm momentum throws their stance!
You'll feel me coming,
A new vibration,
From afar you'll see me,
I'm a sensation!"
- Overheard from Karras's Bathroom Door,
While He Was Taking A Shower
RavynousHunter on 21/8/2007 at 15:44
"Necromancy Warning: The person you're trying to resurrect is more than 30 days old."
-- Odd warning found when attempting to cast Resurrection on a zombie
"To have the source
Is to have ultimate power.
I wouldn't give it to you,
even if it were mine to give.
Because I DON'T LIKE YOU."
-- Parchment found in Keeper Eidos' room
Celery on 21/8/2007 at 19:15
"Mistreated in life,
restless in death.
But even in death
we are not left alone.
Time after time,
he wakes us from our sleep,
taking our earthly possessions.
I am beginning to think,
if Garrett has abnormal obsessions."
- Diary of an unknown zombie
My two cents about all those zombie missions that Garrett loves to go on.
RavynousHunter on 22/8/2007 at 01:05
Ok, engage Anime Fan Engines. Here goes:
"In fact, not only did I make you, but
I made the Steam Engine, I made Brother Murus,
I've made so many things, really."
-- Sister Washu
"In life you were more a peice of shit
than a man, now you can be a peice of
burrick shit."
-- Keeper Alucard
"Touched a nerve, did I?"
-- Garrett's Left Hand
RavynousHunter on 19/6/2008 at 03:19
Double post and thread necromancy! What a combo! This thread absolutely must be resurrected. And I just so happen to have enough reagents...
CORP MANI!!
"Shit!"
-- Keeper Teller, after being struck by Keeper Penn
"Torches randomly being doused in your presence is nothing to be alarmed about."
-- Guards' Manual
"Hopefully, the 'Dark Age' means that I can finally short-circuit lightbulbs with water arrows..."
-- Collected Musings of Garrett
"*hic* The Builder is mah *hic* buddy! I'm gonna smack you for *hic* makin' fun of him till you say 'OUCH! I'm dead!'"
-- The Newly Anointed Brother Benny, first Pagan encounter
Ok... I'll admit they ain't the best in the world, but there ya have it. For now... :thumb:
TTK12G3 on 22/6/2008 at 14:10
Quote Posted by RavynousHunter
Double post and thread necromancy!...
"*hic* The Builder is mah *hic* buddy! I'm gonna smack you for *hic* makin' fun of him till you say 'OUCH! I'm dead!'"-- The Newly Anointed Brother Benny, first Pagan encounter
Yes! :D
Eyeplant on 25/10/2008 at 04:59
This is the best thread ever, and must not be allowed to die.
"Beware the Trickster's minions: seek they to undo they works and subvert thy thoughts. Lo, for e'en now thou speakest as one of their ilk, with thy woodsie Lolcats and thy lEEt speak. Subverted thy thoughtsies them hath oh yes! And mine, and mine! And of all manfools next!"
-- Written in blood, on a wall of the of Mad Brother Geoffry's unexplainably empty cell in Shalebridge, next to some... vines.
