Please provide freedback on/proofread my essay before submitting

Vivian on 1/10/2016 at 09:18

Hurrrdonic are clown jokes modern or postmodern?

Vivian on 1/10/2016 at 09:18

Or does it depend?

Vivian on 1/10/2016 at 09:24

What if the clown is wearing a beret?

Vae on 1/10/2016 at 10:33

Quote Posted by hedonicflux~~

I would kindly remind you guys, I'm in need of money. I'd rather not put off submitting this for too long.

You're a fool if you think you'll receive potent information, from those who have no interest in your welfare.

However, I will consider your plight...and will advise you in accordance with your need.

faetal on 1/10/2016 at 10:49

I literally love this Hedonic guy.

Hey guys can you give me some criticism, your criticism is wrong, you guys are fussy, hey just kidding I love your criticism, any chance I could have some more? Hey could you hurry up guys I need money.

Basic_etiquette.lib missing

Vivian on 1/10/2016 at 11:17

Vae I now actually cannot stop reading your posts in a shatner voice

Vae on 1/10/2016 at 11:48

That's because you love me.

Al_B on 1/10/2016 at 12:06

Quote Posted by Vivian

Vae I now actually cannot stop reading your posts in a shatner voice

You had to go and say that, didn't you? Now I have the same problem.

Vae on 1/10/2016 at 12:21

Love is in the air.

Sulphur on 1/10/2016 at 12:25

There are two things about your essay that need to be addressed.

Structurally: the introductory paragraphs work as a better lead-in, but the relationships between your fundamental points are still clumsy. The opening paragraph talks about a climax of several things approaching, then goes on to talk about them one after the other. There is no transition that leads from July 2016 being the warmest month on record to socioeconomic issues, which is a pretty abrupt shift and can be addressed with a 'meanwhile' or something to that effect. Apart from that, you still need to link all of these disparate sources and citations and topic shifts into a cohesive statement.

Thematically: I'm shaking my head. If a wide variety of things you're quoting belong to specious tin foil hattery, this is where I stop reading. I'm not a physicist, but I have studied physics. If someone actually believes the LHC is capable of dangerous micro black holes that can do anything to anyone, I'd like to see their calculations on this. If someone believes Saturn's rings were made by alien spacecraft, I'd like more evidence than blurry photographs of prolate spheroids within the rings coupled with fanciful bullshit.