Please don't smoke...

Strangeblue on 9/7/2006 at 07:40

OK... so... the hubby and I are standing at the bus stop on the corner of Queen Anne and Mercer, waiting for a bus, the way you do, you know. It is a sultry evening, but not outrageously warm. We have a nice dinner and some beer in us, and we are feeling comfortable and mellow and the bus should be arriving in a few minutes.

There's this interesting smell in the air and this fella walks in front of us with a strange look on his face and says something incomprehensible and points off to our right.

We look.

Smoke is wafting gently out of the wooden utility pole beside us at about knee height.

"See, it's burning," says the guy. (so that's what he was saying!) Then he says he doesn't have a phone.

We look around and realize that although there are plenty of people on the street, no one is doing anything about this steadily smoldering telephone pole--and it's getting worse as we watch.

There is also no one nearby with a hose, a fire extinguisher, or a bottle of water.

So we call 911. Seems kind of silly, but, whatcha gonna do? It's a fire. We need a fireman.

911 has a little difficulty figuring out where we are. While my hubby is on the phone, our bus comes, but being the good samaritans, we skip it and stay on the phone to explain to 911 where the smoldering telephone pole is.

Bus leaves.

We continue to watch the dry wooden pole soaked in creosote smolder with increasing zeal and occasional flashes of hot coals whenever the wind kicks up. The smell is a bit weird and the smoke is a bit brown and there's a small but interested crowd of bus riders trying not to look interested at all.

The firetruck comes.

It's on the wrong side of the wrong street.

The firetruck goes away.

And comes back on the right side of the right street.

We point to the smoldering telephone pole, apologize for the small and unimportant fire and watch as a fireman who looks about 14 swings down off the truck with a pressurized water bottle and squirts the hell out of the smoldering phone pole.

A second fireman comes to look at the pole and decide if it is really out.

Our bus comes and we barely manage to get on it, since it does't see us--being blocked by the fire engine.

We explain about the smoking phone pole and get on board. As the bus pulls away we see a cluster of 3 firemen examining the pole to be sure it is truly out and not sneakily burning anywhere less obvious.

Several jokes are made about the recent smoking ban--phone poles being apparently NOT exempt. We cannot help but wonder if the smoldering phone pole is the result of the smoking ban, since smokers now have to stand outside to smoke and we imagine one stubbing out his cigarette hastily on the pole, unaware that the hot coal of the cigarette has not been extinguished, but has fallen into a crack in the old, dry, creosote-soaked wood to find a bit of tinder and start a smoking campaign of its own.

Please do not smoke the telephone poles.

Agent Monkeysee on 9/7/2006 at 07:50

You can smoke at Tini Biggs' Martini Bar! But you have to be in the outside lounge.

Also I doubt they would let you smoke pole. This is Queen Anne, not Capitol Hill fs

Scots Taffer on 9/7/2006 at 09:11

Since the "smoking pole" joke has already been made, there's very little I can add to this thread.

Deep Qantas on 9/7/2006 at 16:54

S... smoking ban? As in no smoking outside? :erm:

Strangeblue on 9/7/2006 at 18:13

You can smoke outside, but supposedly not "within 25 feet of a door, window or vent". But everyone ignores that.

It takes a fairly arrogant customer to smoke pole on a street corner.

Lettishead on 9/7/2006 at 18:20

Calabasas in Southern California has passed a ban that prohibits smoking in any outdoor public area There, smokers are relegated to "smokers' outposts," areas far from public sidewalks

Raven on 9/7/2006 at 23:48

good plan! since the smoking ban came in here in scotland, sure the pubs have got better, but you practically choke to death walking down sauchiehall street, glasgow at prime pub going time (lol, not "happy hour" ofcourse, cause that was banned too :P )

Keeper Mallinson on 10/7/2006 at 04:53

Funny, that.

Just a week ago me brother Dan had a funny story; he was on the 135 bus in Vancouver; it goes from the core of downtown, through the drug/poorman district that is the East Side, through Burnaby, my subcity, and up to SFU. He's heading home on it, when suddenly he hears a "thump" on the side of the bus. The bus stops, the driver comes back to check outside the window, sees nothing and drives again. A few minutes later, Dan looks out the window and notices there are flames twice the height of the bus, from the outside. Yes, on the bus, though exterior. The bus stops again, and the driver screams, "Everybody off the bus!!!%#!$%!!" People of course panicked and shoved towards the exit. Dan, as he reports the story, was a bit of a hero, yelling out, "Hey everybody calm the fuck down!", as a small Chinese man was being trampled by the rabble. Reportedly the man thanked him after they were off the bus. No explanation of what happened. In fact, it wasn't even in the papers.

This city doesn't report anything interesting. They didn't report it when 500 zombies marched downtown, invading stores and harassing passing trollies. This makes me terrified about an actual zombie outbreak, as they seem to like to ignore them, perhaps out of embarassment. It's funny though, when the zombies reached the art gallery, centre for political movement, the police thought they were the scheduled anti-war protest. They just trudged by and moaned.

Rogue Keeper on 10/7/2006 at 09:32

This fuss about smoking ban is very hypocritical. Billions of non-smokers drive their lovely steel sweethearts which exhale much worse shit into the air! :grr:

I smoke and I don't drive one of those things. So who's better, huh?

Scots Taffer on 10/7/2006 at 09:48

I'm better because I can behind the wheel of my V6 monster, run you over, spew out massive clouds of death and still get home without my clothes stinking. :D