Vivian on 7/9/2010 at 16:06
Right, I might as well ask here: what the fuck is a pot roast? I keep hearing about them. I'm guessing its not when you smoke weed in a sauna.
Queue on 7/9/2010 at 16:11
FUCK YOU MAN!!! YOU RUINED MY THREAD...ASKING ABOUT POT ROAST! I'M GONNA SHOOT THE CAT!
Jason Moyer on 7/9/2010 at 16:13
I don't think this is a phenomenon that's unique to online forums. If I go down the street and start telling total strangers personal information about myself, I'd hopefully have the balls to deal with the hilarity that ensues.
demagogue on 7/9/2010 at 16:24
There is something unique about chat forums. I remember taking a course on "Computer Mediated Communication" in 1997, back when internet culture was still sort of new. And we read all these pscyh studies that people in IRC & chat forums had the tendency to take things way more personally and their emotions get way more inflamed when real life issues came up than saying the same sorts of things to the same sorts of people in real life. Something to do with the missing social cues (voice, expression, etc) and the cold hard look of black text that doesn't disappear.
I just remember reading all those studies and not having any frame of reference at the time, since I hadn't been on any forums. Now having been on some, I can see how it works. But it's true ... if you bring something personal into a chat forum, or someone else brings something up, it's a raw nerve. I've seen it happen a lot here & other places.
Then I think the best way to deal with it is to know that up front, so you can guard your own emotions from going ape shit. If you expect it, you can see it for what it is... Like I sometimes have the tactic of just *not posting* for a day and sitting on it until the feeling dies down... then I won't rage post.
Kolya on 7/9/2010 at 16:29
The whole distancing my real self from my online self tends to end in fake online-personas throwing around tired phrases. I've seen that. It's at least as boring as everyone treating one another like raw eggs.
There needs to be some balance. Saying "It's just an internet forum!" doesn't cut it, because why bother at all, if it's ultimately meaningless. Some basic respect can prevent that.
And if foreseeable reactions may hit too close home for your liking but you feel the need to reveal yourself anyway, use an alt-nick.
Absynthe on 7/9/2010 at 16:36
Quote Posted by demagogue
<snip>
Something to do with the missing social cues (voice, expression, etc) and the cold hard look of black text that doesn't disappear.
<snip>
That's exactly what it is in a nutshell. Though I think the lack of bunnehz is also a problem.
Kolya on 7/9/2010 at 17:09
The missing social clues theory has the same angle as most other (older) CMC theories: It uses F2F-communications as a starting point and then CMC looks quite shitty from there. No smelling, no gestures, no sweet loving, it's a cold cold world out on the net.
But CMC is just different and people can adapt to its strengths and weaknesses, eg the fact that the net documents everything for us changes what we need to remember.
Queue on 7/9/2010 at 17:15
Now here's good example of people taking things the wrong way, or over-reacting: (
http://www.ttlg.com/forums/showthread.php?t=133203&p=2014427#post2014427) http://www.ttlg.com/forums/showthread.php?t=133203&p=2014427#post2014427.
Apart from being in the wrong for saying something silly in the first place, wasn't it equally wrong to take it personally and resort to name calling?
It's almost like people
look for something to be hurt about, or to find reasons to lash out, instead of just having a chuckle.
Matthew on 7/9/2010 at 17:28
I can't believe you would say that, Queue. It's clear you have absolutely no concern for the feelings of those around you.
