TBE on 10/6/2007 at 00:02
I didn't know the man, but from your description and the vibe he puts out in those pictures, I like him. The world needs more people like Bart, because he sounds like he cherished life and his family. Hugs to you Dia. This thread is a good celebration of his life he led.
Spaztick on 10/6/2007 at 00:41
Quote Posted by Taffer_Boy_Elvis
I didn't know the man, but from your description and the vibe he puts out in those pictures, I like him. The world needs more people like Bart, because he sounds like he cherished life and his family. Hugs to you Dia. This thread is a good celebration of his life he led.
Well put, haven't heard of the man until now but I like him already, would have loved to have met him.
Oceanstorm on 10/6/2007 at 10:00
Hi Dia. Don't know you that well and being new here seeing your thread came as a bit of a shock. Please accept my deepest condolences and sympathy.
From what I have observed you are a neat person and looking at the pics you posted you had a wonderful man. He may be gone physically but he will be forever at your side, even if you can't see him. I've only had a girlfriend for a couple of years but the thought of losing her is enough to move me to tears(and I don't cry easy). Hang in there. Life can be tough sometimes. Hold on to the memories and never forget that your man and his love will always be with you.
All the Best and since I'm a cuddly person, One Huge Hug for you.
Stephen.
New Zealand.
Mr.Duck on 10/6/2007 at 17:46
<3<3<3
*Hugs Dia, kisses her forehead and twirls a lock of hair on his fingers*
Stay golden, little lady.
R.I.P. Bart.
MsLedd on 11/6/2007 at 05:54
I remember reading your thread last year Dia, and being so undone I had a very tough time posting at all. I would have been from reading your thread, anyway, but the day before your Bart died, I suffered a huge loss in my own life. I have thought of you many times over the past year, and hoped you were coping better than I...
You are an inspiration, and your Bart sounds like my kind of person. I hope to someday get to meet him (and you... before that) :)
PigLick on 11/6/2007 at 07:32
This thread certainly puts things in perspective. He looks like a great guy. Keep plugging away Dia.
Dirty_Brute on 11/6/2007 at 07:32
Thank you for sharing Dia! I enjoyed reading your posts in the Thief forum. You have a sense of humor and are a very lovable person.
I feel for you and you have my condolences.
Take care!
Hewer on 11/6/2007 at 15:48
Dia,
I've been sort of watching for something like this, then you went and snuck it in on me over the weekend.
I've always given my wife and son more than their fair share of hugs and "I love you"s, but honestly, I've done it with a bit more purpose over the last year. And sort of like has been said already, every time I see your name in here, I think about how well you've handled yourself, and reaffirm to myself not to take some things for granted.
It's not about pity, but about respect.
Have a good one
Sombras on 11/6/2007 at 18:50
Hi Dia,
I'm ashamed to say that I did not see your thread last year; this is the first I read about what happened.
Shortly after my son died, I heard or read or dreamt somewhere that we do not get over a loved one's death so much as survive it. What that aphorism ignores is that, at some point, you begin to thrive again, too.
What stunned me in my first year was how the thriving happened in fits and starts, accompanied by lots of backward steps. Your description of your year sounds very familiar: pain, shock, remorse, but also fair doses of happiness, gratitude, and determination. I respect the hell out of you surviving--and hopefully thriving--in this year. No doubt that strength is one reason that loving man married you.
Dia on 11/6/2007 at 19:18
Thank you all for your kind words and warm feelings. They are so very, very much appreciated and welcome.
Sombras; though losing my husband was devastating, I absolutely cannot imagine ever losing a child. The very thought sends me into fits of crying and makes my heart freeze with dread. My heart goes out to you and your wife and you have my most sincere sympathies and condolences. And whoever said that it's more surviving the death of a loved one than it is getting over it was absolutely right. I don't think a loss like that is something you ever get over; it really does scar you for the rest of your life. I'm not sure about the strength part; after I started coming out of shock it was more a matter of trying to learn how to live without the man I love; more like a matter of survival. Determination (with a touch of obstinacy) helped, I guess. Btw, Bart always delighted in calling me 'contrary to ordinary' and said he valued that aspect of my character. But I always thought he was the contrary one and told him so - with equal delight. ;) :p
I don't mean to bore anyone, but there is one thing I remember mentioning in my original thread about Bart last year; the fact that he made me promise to honor his request to become an organ donor. I remember teasing him about being a 'Dudley-DoRight' when we had the conversation about becoming organ donors because, face it, the thought of what has to happen in order for a person to become an organ donor is not very appealing and imo one really has to have a very, well, kind of enlightened attitude to want to become one. But I kept my word, though I have to admit that during those three days in the hospital the thought of what the doctors and nurses were going to do to my husband (even though it would be after his imminent death) did cause me serious upset and added to my grief.
However, the very day after Bart's death a representative from the University of Wisconsin's Organ Procurement Dept. called me to tell me about the lives Bart had saved the day he died. And an odd thing happened. Suddenly I had the weirdest feelings of relief and pride; a kind of bittersweet feeling that actually helped to ease the pain of my husband's death, even if only just a little. I wanted to share the following with all of you.
To my astonishment, about six weeks after Bart's death I started receiving letters from the recipients of my husband's generous donations. The first (and hardest emotionally to read) was from a man named Gary who lived in Minn. and whom had received one of Bart's kidneys. He'd already been in the hospital up in Madison for awhile and his doctors had pretty much given up all hope for his recovery, as he only had one kidney left and it was starting to fail. Gary has kept in touch and is back at his teaching job at a highschool where he also coaches a winning basketball team.
The second letter was from a woman named Grace, who was also already up in the Madison hospital; she also only had one kidney left and her liver was also failing. She received Bart's other kidney as well as his liver and is now doing well and is able to take her five grandkids to the zoo and museums (one of her favorite pastimes - besides gardening and riding her 'old-fashioned' bicycle).
The third letter was from a young man (in his late teens) named Ron who'd been in a serious car accident wherein his car had burst into flames. By the time the firemen pulled him out of the car he'd suffered serious burns not only to his upper torso, but his lungs had been seriously scorched as well. Ron received donations of healthy lung tissue (which he said saved his life) as well as skin grafts from my husband. He just came home for summer break from college and he wrote me that his scars are almost unnoticeable. He's planning on going to med school next.
The fourth letter was from Tim, another young man who had a congenital disease which involved the valves of his heart who was already hospitalized in St. Paul, Minn. at the time of Bart's death. The doctors had just told him the day before that unless he received transplants he wouldn't make it past the end of 2006. He received the valves from Bart's heart and is also now doing well and fine. In fact, he just got married last month (he wrote that though he and his young wife had already been expecting twins prior to getting married, they'd had the wedding planned by Christmas of last year after his doctors told him he'd be able to lead a normal, active life thanks to the transplants). :thumb:
The fifth letter was from a young woman named Lisa, with two toddlers (a single mom) who'd been a successful graphics artist until she was diagnosed with a degenerative eye disease a few years prior to Bart's death. Lisa was on the verge of having to apply for state aid because she couldn't work anymore and was considered legally blind. She'd written me that what hurt her the most was that she couldn't make out the faces of her children anymore. Lisa received Bart's corneas and is happily back at work and has also taken up photography (she said one whole wall of her living room is now plastered with photos of her kids :D ).
The absolutely great thing is that I get to meet most if not all of these people this August when the governor of Wisc. is going to be presenting 'The Gift of Life' medal to me (and our families) in honor of Bart and the generous gifts he gave.
Yep; that was my husband; Bart aka Mr. Dudley-DoRight . :cheeky:
