Queue on 5/8/2018 at 16:04
Well then, I think I'll go open up a vein just to see what happens next. Thanks for that feel good post, Thor.
Quote Posted by Tocky
And Queue, you fucker, you still haven't given me a story. Holding out on me when I know you have some good ones. Shame.
How else would I maintain my international-man-of-mystery status?
Thor on 5/8/2018 at 16:56
The time stamp of your post made my dangerously drunk state note - I joined this forum exactly 10 years ago! Ahahahaha, VERY NICE.
Gray on 5/8/2018 at 18:57
Quote Posted by Medlar
how many ttlg members have you met off line?
My list is surprisingly short, I mostly wasted my time on TTLG or #thief.
I met (
http://www.ttlg.com/forums/showthread.php?t=49322) BigDave, FatBurrick, Jenesis at Alton Towers in 2002. I met Jimthehairy in London on the same trip. I've met Daxim twice, in Berlin and Düsseldorf, and Kyloe in Berlin. I once accidently bumped into a slightly unstable Finnish TTLG:er on a ferry Stockholm-Helsinki, completely unplanned but he recognised me (no, not one of the cool ones we all know and love, he didn't post much, but I shall withhold his name to save him the embarrassment of the spilled beer and vomit story). If there are any others I forgot about, sorry, I'll edit this and add you later.
The list of old TTLG'ers that I knew quite well at some point, 15-20 years ago, is a bit longer, but if they're not on the above list we never met IRL. GBM, Sypha Nadon, Para?Noid, Sailoreagle, MrDuck, henke, MsLedd, Stitch666 (still own (
http://www.ttlg.com/forums/showthread.php?t=65397) his CD), frozenman, buglunch, probably 20 more people I can't remember at the moment of typing this. Many late nights on #thief, discussing our latest heartbreaks or general whiny misery. A lot of that time was spent arguing over music, trading music, and proving that my music was better than theirs. I sent actual physical CD:s to Noid, frozenman (UT installs) and Sypha to their actual postal addresses, buglunch sent me an awesome (
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ain%27t_It_Dead_Yet%3F) Skinny Puppy live DVD. Daxim and I set up a web server in my kitchen that hosted various music made by TTLG members, over 30 different artists, maybe even 50, I forget. I provided the hardware (an old (
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SPARCstation_20) Sun Microsystems Sparc Server S20 I borrowed from work) and location, and Daxim did the actual thinking and work, remotely from Germany. I only knew Digi and Hanse a little bit, I mostly spoke to them when I became a forum moderator, they were mostly hanging out with people they knew from before I joined back in 1998. (This is my second nickname, if you can remember my first, that means you're old. No, it wasn't "fez boy", that was just a webcam joke that became a Thing.)
Thinking back like this triggers a lot of nostalgia, I may remember more later, but that's all for now.
zacharias on 6/8/2018 at 06:44
h-son wasn’t it? How is your insomnia these days?
demagogue on 6/8/2018 at 12:41
Hope you're finding a way out of the darkness and into a better place Gunny, and that we can see more of you. My condolences.
I still feel like a late-comer actually, compared to the original crew. I've met BrokenArts in Texas, almost fett (I had to bail at the last minute), and Jeshibu in Tokyo. I met some random somebody once (I think a guy studying abroad here) that said they were a regular and have I ever heard of ttlg and I was like, uh, well I'm a mod there, so chances are good I have.
june gloom on 6/8/2018 at 15:01
(Nameless Voice pointed me here, so blame him for this.)
Leaving TTLG was the best thing I could have done for myself at that point in time. In all honesty, I should have left when I turned 30 -- I was a very dull, shitty person for most of my 20s, and turning 30, my grandfather's death, and the 2012 election, all in the span of two months, were sort of the starting point for me realizing I needed to get some serious personal growth in. I started trying to make changes in my life and in how I responded to people. I stopped associating with just any douchebag who gave me the time of day, and cut quite a few people out of my life -- something I'm still in the process of doing. I started trying to get my anger issues under control. But for some reason I held on with TTLG, which was a mistake on my part. The level of discourse could get incredibly toxic (partly my fault, I admit, but I refuse to take responsibility for where it's at now) and it was getting in the way of my personal growth. When someone implied that I should have killed myself to spare TTLG the pain of my existence I knew I had no reason to stay anymore. I left another forum a couple years after that for similar reasons of toxicity (and also I have a thing about people fetishizing disability.) While I do sometimes post on a rare basis, it usually ends up reminding me why I left.
I've learned a lot about myself in the intervening years (including some personal identity shit I've been working through.) I've lost a lot of loved ones, and I've learned who my friends are and where my priorities belong. I don't even use "dethtoll" for anything anymore except for stuff I can't change, like my email and Steam accounts. I'm trying to be a better person than I was, and part of that means not hanging out in the places the old me used to go.
While I used to continue being friends with certain people from here even after I left, I've since ended up cutting ties with a few of them too, though I'm fb friends with quite a number of TTLGers, chiefly Duck, Dia, faetal, demagogue, Harvester and Jason. (It was hard to think of some of their usernames... I'm so used to their real names now.) There are others but we don't interact terribly much -- they're not as active on fb as I am. Aerothorn blocked me ages ago. I think I might have Stoo on Twitter? I'm also fairly active on the ttlg-kru Discord under the name "arobase" where I mostly talk to NV, Kolya and a few others.
I'm really sorry for your loss, gunny -- you've always been one of the nicest people on TTLG and you deserve better.
Azaran on 6/8/2018 at 15:43
Quote Posted by Thor
I followed Lytha on her youtube channel briefly as she let's played the Thief series. Then she got cancer in the tongue (there's something ironic and perhaps really fortunate about that as she used her voice daily for Youtube and possibly wouldn't have realized it otherwise) and after a while was reportedly fine, but we all know how that story tends to go. Then she went completely radio silent and that was... over 6 years ago (closer to 7). Every year really does get shorter, Roger Waters.
She went nihilistic. Got offended when people worried for her well being tried to find out how she was doing, and made a birthday thread for her. As I recall, her last post on the thread (and forum) was a contemptuous rant against concerned forum members who had tried to reach her
Minion21g on 6/8/2018 at 16:01
Quote Posted by dethtoll
I'm also fairly active on the ttlg-kru Discord under the name "arobase" where I mostly talk to NV, Kolya and a few others.
There's a ttlg-kru Discord?
Nameless Voice on 6/8/2018 at 16:10
Yup. There was a (
http://www.ttlg.com/forums/showthread.php?t=148004) a thread over in Gen Gaming.
It was theoretically set up to talk about games and maybe arrange gaming sessions, though we mostly just talk about the occasional bit of game design, some other random things, and get depressed at the current state of the world.
june gloom on 6/8/2018 at 16:19
Quote Posted by Azaran
She went nihilistic. Got offended when people worried for her well being tried to find out how she was doing, and made a birthday thread for her. As I recall, her last post on the thread (and forum) was a contemptuous rant against concerned forum members who had tried to reach her
That's... really not how I remember it.