Rug Burn Junky on 15/1/2008 at 21:29

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It's that time of year, where everybody has made their resolution to "finally get in shape this year" because of the arbitrary changing of numbers in the calendar. I'm sure there are plenty of people here who've done the same thing, and I have one thing to say to all of you:

GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY GYM.

Seriously. You don't want to be there. I don't want you there. Why are you wasting your time and mine by going through the motions and not doing anything productive, when you're just going to give up in another two weeks anyway? Give up now, and it'll save everyone involved a lot of time and frustration.

[INDENT]
* To the guy sitting on the lat pulldown machine reading the paper for ten minutes: you'll be more comfortable at home.

* To the girl who walks over to the only bench press open, sits down and does 30 5lb curls, when there are five empty benches in the dumbbell area: you're both inconsiderate AND wasting your time.

* To the guy who loads up 50 lbs on the leg press machine, and gets up afterwards as though he's accomplished something: You haven't done anything other than potentially fuck up your back by curling it up like that. Let me explain it to you. 50 lbs at a 45 degree angle means you're lifting the equivalent of roughly 25 lbs against gravity. You weigh about 160 lbs. You get a better workout for your legs standing up from a chair. If that workout is taxing, you shouldn't be at a gym, you should be in physical therapy.

* To the girl who just flits around from one nautilus machine to another with no obvious plan: Well, you're wasting your time, but you're not getting in my way since the nautilus machines are pretty much useless, so at least wear tighter clothes to make it worth looking at your ass.

* To the guy who grabbed the bench next to the power rack and moved it in spite of the fact that my towel and water bottle were sitting on it: Fuck you gently with a chainsaw. Really. Maybe if you worked hard for once, you'd realize that yes I DO need it to rest in between sets of deadlifts because heavy weight takes a shitload out of you. I'm not just doing it to hog equipment, I'm doing it to keep from fainting or throwing up.

* To the 15 guys who spend their entire workout doing situps: You'll never get abs that way, and you're just fucking up your back. Have fun with that.

* To the girl who spends an hour and a half walking on a treadmill: You haven't even broken a sweat. It doesn't make up for that half dozen cupcakes from Magnolia you ate yesterday.

* To the guy on the elliptical talking on your cell phone: If you can carry on a conversation, you aren't working hard enough. And the bluetooth headset doesn't look cool, you just look like a douche.

* To anyone using any sort of bouncy rubber ball for an exercise: Don't listen to what the personal trainer says, you DO look silly, and everyone is laughing at you on the inside. Stop wasting your time and do a real exercise.
[/INDENT]

I have nothing against people trying to better themselves. There are people who are starting now who'll still be there in March, and June, and September, and a lot of them will make real progress. I don't care what kind of shape someone's in, if they're putting effort in, and not making the most egregious of gym mistakes regularly (or at least not affecting me), I'm rooting for them.

I've personally been at all ends of the gym spectrum, from frat boy workout rat in college, to conscientious lifter for 2-3 years, to paying the "gym tax" and not going while I slowly let myself go for almost a decade, to recovering my previous strength over the course of the last year and a half. But I've never walked into a gym without meaning it. If I'm going to be there, I'm not going to waste my time, and when I walk out, I will know I've worked. And when I decided to come back, it had nothing to do with a New Year's resolution, I made the commitment because it was something I wanted, not something I just felt like paying lip service to.

The last two weeks have been frustrating because I see so many people just wasting their time. I just got back from the gym, and had to deal with it being overcrowded, and filled with people who I know I won't see again.

It's easy to come for a week, especially since the weather's been nice for January. But let's see the guy that's making the trek during that blizzard in February at 10 pm. That's the one that'll actually look like he's been working out a year from now. The rest of them're not going to see any appreciable progress, and they're just going to give up.

If that's going to be the case, why bother at all?

Scots Taffer on 16/1/2008 at 00:43

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Was hoping for a list of what you did and before/after shots. :(

BrokenArts on 16/1/2008 at 01:58

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Just don't do it. People fail every year, just, GIVE IT UP.

Peanuckle on 16/1/2008 at 02:26

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Ahh, the weekend workout warrior. What the idiots don't realize is that if they just workout once in a blue moon and don't change their diet, their muscles will actually shrink for lack of protein and proper nutrition. I don't really have that bad of a problem since the place I go is out in the boonies, but its easy to see who is working out and who is just there to make themselves feel better.

Ko0K on 16/1/2008 at 06:11

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Well, that hasn't happened to me, yet, but there are guys like that at pretty much every gym I've been to. They either give you that "what?" look if you stare at them in disbelief of what they just did or pretend that you're not even there. So what do you do? You quietly pick up your things and move over, then come home to blog about it. Heh heh... Seriously, you could say something smart to make yourself feel better, but I suspect wits would be wasted on meatheads like that, anyway.