Renzatic on 23/8/2018 at 19:15
Yeah, but it's such a FUN massive timesink.
I dunno why games like this are fun. You just get up every morning, go out to the barn to pet your ducks, grab their eggs, pop them into the churner, and watch it go jiggle-jiggle-jiggle, water your plants, then maybe go fuck around in the mine for some rocks and gems. That sounds about dry as toast. Who in their right mind would want to play a game where a goodly chunk of your time is spent simulating repetitive farm work?
It's like Spintires in a way. If someone were to ask what you what that game's like, the honest answer would be "you drive around slowly in mud." No, that doesn't sound fun. In fact, it'd sound tremendously boring. But there's something about it that makes it SO. DAMN. ENTERTAINING. Yeah, you drive around slowly in mud, but that's awesome. There's no way you can explain why. You just have to experience it for yourself.
Pyrian on 23/8/2018 at 20:45
I think I just lack that "enjoy busy-work" gene or something.
Renzatic on 24/8/2018 at 00:26
You're the Anti-Henke. :O
Woxwile on 24/8/2018 at 00:51
That scavengy old Mariner only shows up when it's raining, so I've been waiting for rain. Day after day. After day. Last year the spring was nothing but rain, this year it's dry. Weeks without rain. What am I gonna do? By the time the Flower Dance came around I was already sure that I was going to ask Abigail to move in with me. But without the pendant I was stuck.
Dance was good, we shook our respective booties, got drunk and tried to shove Clint into the dessert table. He's heavier than he looks and the drunken might of myself and my girlfriend were no match for him. Next year.
She was beautiful that day. White dress with purple hair and a green and gold ribbon. So different to the leather-clad and tattooed girl who skulks around the edges of things with a slightly disdainful grimace. I can't dance and neither can she, but we had a great time even if Clint managed to escape without injury. I went home with a light heart and a head full of The Future.
It rained the day after the Flower Dance. Finally! I ran to the tide pools and found Relic. He sold me a shell on a string and I was so excited I didn't even ask how much it cost. SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY SIR. Elliiott was squatting artistically outside of his ramshackle hut when I came by. He tried to offer me some poetic words, but I was like NOOOOOOOOO and put my fingers in HIS ears for a change. He started freaking out so I gave him a chunk of algae that I'd stolen from a slime creature. He wasn't happy about that and I ran off giggling, Mermaid Pendant held high.
I ran straight to the General Store with it held triumphantly over my head, a public beacon to declare my affection for that purple what do you mean she's not here? SEBASTIAN? Why is she at Sebasti- you know what I don't even care. I'll wait.
Rainy Thursday on the avenue. Getting dark. Waiting for her. In the rain. With my stupid shell-thing. Come on, Abby. I got a question to axe you. About an hour into my soak she came wandering up. Beautiful girl with her hair plastered to her face. I know she loves the rain. I've been waiting for this. All you people in Pelican Town I will wake up your empty shells.
She saw me standing there outside her parents' store with my soggy clothes and beard, baseball hat dripping with warm spring rain and the stain of goats on my fingers. She lit up like the Fourth of July. Of course she'll marry me! Amazing! Sebastian crept past with his hair even more limp than usual. I flipped him off when Abby wasn't looking. Sebastian wasn't looking, either, but it made me feel better.
We had our ceremony three days later, the last day of spring. Everyone was there to help us celebrate, even Pierre (who had become less weird as the winter progressed - I assume it's got something to do with me being the only person who still spends money in his store) was on hand to congratulate us. We kissed, we went home, our new life together. So in love. My big cold house was about to get a lot warmer. We had trout soup for dinner, I gave her an amethyst and a kiss. She's a lovely girl and I hope she'll be happy here with me. Caper (the dog) loves her already. Summer is gonna be good, I'm making crazy amount of jam, coffee, wine, and cheese. Gearing up to build more kegs, more preserve jars, expand the barn and the coop, get things on point.
WTF NO ONE SAID ANYTHING ABOUT A DRUM SET ABBY
I'm spending most of my time in the mines again. Meg White is a better drummer than my wife. I love her to death, but COME ON. Bash bash boom boom tssh! Unce unce unce oh hey wait she's playing the dubstep! WUB WUB WUB WUB woop woop unce unce WUB WUB WUB!
Woxwile on 25/8/2018 at 01:09
I've lived here in Seabird's Bottom for like eighteen months now. I've been the sole hookup for quality mayonnaise, wild plum wine, coffee, and goat cheese. When I go to the Stardrop on Friday nights, everyone cheers and pays for my drinks. I'm a God.
Also I think everyone's hella jelly that I scored the punk chick who eats rocks and plays a mean flute like Ian Anderson or maybe it's a euphemism oh god I hope it's a euphemism. She already asked me once if I wanted to have a kid, but I was like HOLY CHRIST WE'VE ONLY BEEN DATING FOR A FEW WEEKS GIRL. She was cool about it.
That guinea pig keeps looking at me weird, I'm telling you. Who's David SENIOR? Is this some kind of rodent dynasty? I feel inadequate. I should go outside before I start hyperventilating in front of the Chicken Statue.
I've made a special chest to put the things I think will do well at this year's fair. I didn't enter last year -- it was sprung on my at the last minute, and really I hadn't anything to show for my two and a half seasons. But now I do. I've been very busy.
I didn't do any research, I knew I could game the scoring if I deliberately shot for things I knew would impress everyone. I wanted to see how I was REALLY doing, what the "hallmark" products from Derelict Farm were worth in a competitive sense.
The day of the Fair I checked my entry before heading over. Abigail was very encouraging as we sorted through the candidates. The best things I had managed to grow or make or squeeze out of an animal were laid out for us to evaluate.
"What's this?" she asked as she took a swig of SOMETHING THAT SHE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT WAS WTF ABBY
"Mmmm... tastes purply!"
Iridium quality large goat milk. Awesome. That'll go in there. And now my wife's breath is heinous.
"Check this shit out," I grinned as I held a gold quality goat cheese up in front of my face. "It's effing huge!"
The milk and the cheese were a good start. A Fairy Rose was an obvious entry, especially since I had blanked out and sent all the Fairy Rose Honey to be sold without thinking. I prayed that the bees would make more, but there wasn't enough time.
I dug out a fiddlehead that I'd found while scavenging in the Secret Forest, and Abby chose one of the rarest gemstones I'd found to date. Jade. Six out of nine. I knew they looked for variety, so I kept digging in the chest of candidates.
"What do you think of this?" I asked as I shoved a still-wriggling Sea Urchin at her.
"How the hell is that still alive?" she asked. "You found that months ago!"
I inspected the spiny bugger closely. "It's been hanging out in the upstairs toilet," I shrugged. "Can't be that much worse than living outside Elliott's place..."
She made a face and pushed the little creature away. Dug deep into the chest and came up with a jar of high quality mayo. And an egg.
"Those girls are your whole life," she said. "Even the goats don't rate compared to your chickens. Give them a chance, show this town what your babies can do."
I couldn't believe it. Abigail really understands how I feel about the animals on the farm. Of course I would enter the mayo and the egg, they were both superb (although the egg had been sitting around for more than a couple of months) and I couldn't think of a better way to celebrate the hard work my birds' cloacas had gone through. Not to mention the fact that I tweaked my back more than a few mornings bending over to pick up after them. Yeah, this is good.
So far two animal products, a flower, two artisan goods, a couple of things that I found on or in the ground... Something else? I had already lost count. Whatever the case, there were two slots left to fill. And I knew exactly what to do.
She won't ever admit it, but Abigail is a decent cook. Sometimes. I mean, it's not encouraging when you're handed something at the end of a long day and told "I hope it isn't disgusting" -- and it's even HARDER to pretend to eat and enjoy it only to sneak out of the house and stash it in the Grange Box while she's sleeping. Some kind of spicy Thai soup and a box of crab cakes! Nobody in Cormorant Hat knows how good the local freaky girl is at cooking, and I was gonna show them! She'll be so happy if she wins.
That's a big "if" but I was only trying to show how we were doing. I really only wanted to place, I didn't imagine I could compete with Pierre, Marnie, and Willy. I know it sounds trite, but I was actually happy just to participate.
We gathered everything up and went to town. Everything was set up just as it had been last year, except this time I said OK BOSS HERE WE GO when Lewis asked me to set my display up. Pierre's wife was trying to distract me while I got everything ready and I was like DUDE YOU'RE MY WIFE'S MOM and plus I didn't mention the fact that if Pierre really had been keeping some of that stuff for weeks in order to enter the contest that it was undoubtedly really manky and gross by this point. The reason I forebore from the observation is because omg that egg of mine wtf.
The Fair was in full swing, but I really only had eyes on the Fedora. Bought some Star Tokens, bet on the wheel until I scammed the guy out of enough oooo that starfruit tastes like ENTROPY! Also how boss does this fedora look upon me m'lady?
Lewis was losing his shit, so I said "Yeah, go ahead." He squinted at the displays. Poked Pierre's produce, whiffed Willy's wares, and something that starts with M to Marnie's melons. We know about those two. Truffle oil? Don't ask? Whatever! Just don't give your girlfriend an unfair advantage, Lewis. We're watching you! We know where your boxer shorts are, mister!
A silence as heavy as Pam's left tit descended on the assemblage. Pam shifted awkwardly, but we all knew. That's where the rum is, you've got a fake bra. Doesn't matter. Elliott and Sebastian were doing lines in the corner, Haley had the glory-hole thing going on offstage, and Demetrius was quietly but firmly telling the wizard that science was superior to drugs and that no matter how many junimos he could see it was simply not comparable to using the telescope to watch Penny shaving her legs when she thought she had privacy oh god I've said too much.
Lewis came back with the scorecards.
Holy Mackerel, I won. WE WON! 104 points! First place! I ran over to Abby to give her a big hug but she was all like "I already won these games" and wandered off, leaving me with my dick in my fist and a fedora perched jauntily on top of my balding head.
Sigh.
Shadowcat on 25/8/2018 at 09:32
Well that got weird all of a sudden.
