Woxwile on 20/8/2018 at 01:43
So, I quit my horrid cubicle job to move to a derelict farm that my Grandfather left me. I might have been insane. This place is very weird, but at least people are nice. I assume they're nice -- I've really only spoken to the blacksmith, the carpenter, her husband (why did I tell him he could fill my cave with bats?), the livestock woman, and the dude who runs the General Store. There's a girl I was impressed with, I think she's the shopkeeper's daughter... purple hair and a creepy but fun outlook on life. I've been giving her amethysts. She's my friend now, so maybe I'll actually GO to one of these festivals everyone keeps talking about.
I spent the mornings with my dog and my chickens. I don't actually grow anything, that seems like a lot of work and I'm not an outdoorsy person. I mostly live in the mines hunting slimes and skeletons and bats and whatever. I come home with rocks and coal and gems, I save the purple ones for that girl with the purple hair. She likes them, I like her, she likes me. It's the circle of life.
I say I don't grow anything, but that's not entirely true. Now that Fall has arrived I've planted some pumpkins because of course I did. Maple trees produce syrup, my bees produce honey. Eggs and mayonnaise. Copper, iron, gold. I eat what I find on the ground, it helps me survive the mines day in and day out. There's a guy dressed like Fred Flintstone who lives in a tent near the mine entrance, but I've never spoken to him. I'm not very social.
Which is okay... Turns out the goth chick is also a weirdo, so we get along. I played a harp that I didn't even know I had while she played her flute. We stood under a tree in the rain and jammed. Maybe I'll go to the next dance or whatever just to see her. Gotta do something with my new life, right? Don't want to end up like Fabio living in a torn-out cabin on the beach. That's wack.
I guess there is another thing I'm growing: some kind of sexy flowers for my bees to make honey from. Sounds lucrative, and I'm all about the money right now. Have to make lots of cash so I can afford a nice hat to impress what's-her-face, purple girl. I got her confused with some other little girl once, gave her a rock by accident. Not a great gift, but I was a bit tired from getting my ass kicked by some sort of floating mask-thing deep in the mines. It's all a bit fuzzy.
I had someone build me a barn, but I don't want to get anymore livestock until spring. I'm already a bit ragged from chickens and a dog and I figure if I get any more going on I'll have to skip mining a few days a week just to manage things. Even with this sprinkler system I've banged together out of rocks and dirt.
Tomorrow will be my second day of Fall, my first year here outside Pelican Head or whatever they call it. Pelican Foot. Bird Town. Maybe next year I'll meet someone else if I can be bothered. Until then I'm just gonna hermit up here until purple-hair wants to move in. Is it weird that she's obviously a teenager and I'm so clearly middle-aged? Do they care about those things here in Seagull's Arse? Do I care if they care? This is so different to what I was used to.
Turns out my old employers have built a Megalomart here. I'm gonna load up my slingshot with fish and start harassing the dude who runs it. I don't know who he is, but he's a Jojapunk and that Megalomart is hurting my girlfriend's dad's business*
I don't know why I'm here. I don't farm, I don't want to make friends or go to festivals. I'd rather be left alone to get on with my life. I collect junk and sell it, I don't even know who I sell it to -- I just stuff it into a crate and then I get money. Not that different to my cubicle job, I suppose. Once these pumpkins have been harvested I'm going full Wicker Man. Nothing but scarecrows and torches. And bees. Always bees. Get off my farm.
Just gotta figure out how to make a shotgun. Until then I'll just keep whipping fish at people who get too close. Except Goth Girl. She's cute, even if she is 14. I didn't have sex with her, don't look at me like that. I'm not a degenerate.
*I have no proof of this, but it seems likely. Plus screw those guys. Hatred seethes in me.
Renzatic on 20/8/2018 at 02:25
Quote Posted by Woxwile
(why did I tell him he could fill my cave with bats?)
This was your first mistake. I haven't read the rest of your post yet, but I'm sure it's filled with even more horrible decisions you've made.
Renzatic on 20/8/2018 at 06:04
Okay, I read the rest. Now I want to play Stardew Valley again.
...actually, I want to play Graveyard Keeper, but it's not out for the Switch yet.
Shadowcat on 23/8/2018 at 05:02
I don't want to play Stardew Valley, but I do look forward to the continuing saga of Woxwile.
Renzatic on 23/8/2018 at 06:55
You do want to play Stardew Valley. You just don't know it yet.
henke on 23/8/2018 at 07:45
I've had Stardew Valley in my Steam library for along time, not played it yet. Wouldn't mind trying it out in co-op, now that it has that.
PigLick on 23/8/2018 at 08:39
You're actually better off playing it single player first before trying co-op.
SD on 23/8/2018 at 15:56
I too confess to having it in my library and not yet playing it. First time I saw it it just looked like some RPGMaker thing (obviously I didn't look that closely). Then I got it in some bundle, and I see it's much more than that.
Renzatic on 23/8/2018 at 17:34
The only complaint I have about Stardew is that if you have to put it down for any reason, it can be very hard to get back into. There's a massive amount of stuff going on around you at any given moment, and you end up building a routine around it based upon what you want to do with your farm. It's easy to keep track of while you're playing it, but step away for a couple weeks, and it feels like you've lost the plot when you come back.
Renault on 23/8/2018 at 18:15
It's a massive timesuck too, just to get through one year of the game will take 20-30 hours. I can't believe it's my 4th largest on Steam in regards to time spent playing.
