demagogue on 1/3/2009 at 20:09
Wow, this is the sort of news you can't make up.
I've been involved in a murder case (on the lawyering side), and they're usually twisted complex affairs. This would rank right up there.
When we talk about these things as lawyers, the normal thing to hope for is that things can be brought to a fair conclusion and real closure, given the actual facts. I'd think from your point of view, just getting all the facts out to even know how to feel would be important.
Good luck enduring what must be very trying times...
Fingernail on 1/3/2009 at 20:36
Quote Posted by Kolya
Speaking of people who died while you were young... How old are you gunsmoke? Did you know your father? Just like a few others here I'm interested to learn what your motivation is after all these years. No offence but it won't bring your father back. Moreover if she's found guilty you'll also have lost your mother. Whatever relationship you had with her will have no chance of getting any better then. I can't get behind what's driving you. And the way you mention your fathers family... I mean they were never related to her. But you are. In what most people will consider the closest relationship you can have to anyone. Makes me wonder if you'll find consolation this way.
Oh and forgive me for being open about this. You know I'm foreign, all this "omg how crappy for you, best wishes" seems rather weird to me in a situation that's as morally ambiguous as could be. No harm meant anyway.
Well, but his mother has potentially killed someone, another member of her family. Isn't that rather unsettling, if not just frightening to him and anyone else in his family? I can't see much of a relationship suriving such an event anyway.
Kolya on 1/3/2009 at 21:30
31 years ago, if she did it at all. And if so, it may still have been an accident. A fight, drugs, what do I know. And I wonder what gunsmoke knows about the actual facts of that day. From what he said, he either wasn't there or too young to be a witness.
I'd carefully consider what I want to achieve in that kind of situation. I think if he had a working relationship with her he wouldn't try to sue her now, to spend the rest of her life in jail. I know I wouldn't care much for 'justice' in this case. So it may be more of a question what happened in between. And then it's not about the alleged murder anymore. Back to step 1. What are you trying to achieve. It's not certain at all that a court will find out the facts after all this time. So what is it then that you want.
I would just want to get over this. And spending my time suing my mother wouldn't help me with that.
Macha on 1/3/2009 at 22:39
Fair play to you man. But you know the score, justice is what you need. Good luck in finding it.
Muzman on 1/3/2009 at 23:07
If they've found enough to have the case reopened and charges laid it's kinda 'in for a penny, in for a pound' at this stage I'd think.
I'm trying to comprehend the suspecting of that skeleton in the closet for so long, building up to the exhumation. Yeesh, that'd be a tale.
Old and Cunning on 2/3/2009 at 02:08
Quote Posted by Kolya
So what is it then that you want.
I would just want to get over this. And spending my time suing my mother wouldn't help me with that.
Closure, obviously. I can't imagine anyone questioning his right to that, especially when he's had 31 years to "carefully consider" for himself what he needs. You've had all of half a day, but that doesn't stop you from hijacking his issues and telling him he's going about it all wrong.
Martin Karne on 2/3/2009 at 02:19
Are you sure is not self defense that got into panic mode etc etc?
And went out of control?
Dia on 2/3/2009 at 02:56
Good point, Martin. I can't imagine what has motivated gunsmoke to do what he has; but I sure wish he'd come back and let us in on a few details. Does he want our sympathy? Or did he just drop this little bomb on us in an act of penance, defiance, remorse, or what? I'm having trouble wrapping my brain around why someone would go to such lengths for two years (or more?) 30 years after the fact, especially knowing the end result could definitely be one's mother going to prison. I can't see having a good relationship with your mother if you're willing to see her sent to jail for the rest of her life because you played a major part in trying to prove her guilty of a 30 year old crime. That's providing she's found (or is) guilty, of course.
We can speculate until we're blue in the face, but not knowing any details just confuses me as to why gunsmoke would even post a thread like this in the first place. Besides his stated desire to 'vomit this out someplace'.
Edit: In re-reading his post, the wording he chose makes me think he wasn't that awfully close with his mom in the first place? (More speculation, I know; but I'm trying to understand this whole thing.) 'We (my father's family) have always suspected, '
fett on 2/3/2009 at 03:05
Quote Posted by Old and Cunning
You've had all of half a day, but that doesn't stop you from hijacking his issues and telling him he's going about it all wrong.
Welcome to Commchat featuring comments by Kolya. ;)
Kolya on 2/3/2009 at 04:14
Quote Posted by Old and Cunning
Closure, obviously. I can't imagine anyone questioning his right to that, especially when he's had 31 years to "carefully consider" for himself what he needs. You've had all of half a day, but that doesn't stop you from hijacking his issues and telling him he's going about it all wrong.
I didn't "question his right", I asked myself and him what he's trying to achieve. That's another thing altogether.
Nor did I tell him that he's "going about it all wrong". I did however utter a few thoughts, based on what gunsmoke wrote, that went beyond "good luck" wishes, because his actions are hard for me to understand.
You are sharing your assumptions on the matter just as I did, saying "closure obviously".
I had adressed the point that closure might not be possible to achieve
through a court. What if they leave her off for want of evidence? Not entirely unrealistic after that much time. He'll still believe it was her and she'll walk free but will certainly never speak with him.
Finally, this is a discussion forum. If you don't like people "hijacking your issues", posting about them here may not be the best idea.
