gunsmoke on 22/9/2009 at 16:12

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Some dip stick came roaring into my parking lot Friday night @ 9:00 pm at ~ 40 mph. He came within a foot of hitting my dog, Roz. She was leashed on a 4 ft. lead, and trained to walk in 'heel' position.

There are dozens of small children and a ton of pets in my condo complex. There are huge-ass speedbumps and 10 mph speed limit signs everywhere for a good reason. I was actually in the exact spot that is a school bus stop for ~ 10 small kids weekday morning and afternoons. We also were about 25 yards from the stairs that go right to my door.

Anyway, I yelled at him to slow the hell down, and he slammed on the brakes, skidding to a halt, tires screaming. Oh boy, I thought, here we go...

Roz is also trained (thank God) with a "go home" command. I immediately let go of her lead and gave the command. She obeyed (thankfully) and trotted off, down to our gate. I wish i would have followed suit.

2 guys ~ 20 years old got out. 1 white (the driver), 1 black.

White kid comes up, chest properly puffed out, and rips his shirt off. Black kid flanks me on my left, at around 15 feet away. I perceive him as little to no threat, and keep my focus on the driver.
1 thing about me...I am always armed. I either have my (http://www.lipseys.com/eImages/25duo.jpg) Taurus (Yes, I have a (http://www.ohiomuskingumsheriff.org/concealed/concealed.html) concealed carry permit in Ohio), or my knife. Tonight I had my knife, which I promptly reached for and palmed. He didn;t see me do it.

So, he comes storming up to me, calling me all sorts of "bitch" and "ho" s. He's about my height/weight (I am 6' 200 lbs.), so I figure I can at least let him know I was there. Well, I tell him to slow down when he comes into my complex, and that it doesn't have to come to blows over something so simple. He doesn't agree, and I quickly see why...

A slutty young thing had popped out of the back seat and started yelling at me. Oh, he is manning up for some young thing he wants to bone. She proceeds to tell me that it won't "come to blows, he'll straight end me".

Hmmm. Death. For this? WTF? Well, this is getting really stupid, really fast. I say that this is ridiculous, and that i just want him to slow down in my neighborhood, not get into a curb-side death match.

I barely got that out of my mouth when the passenger (remember him? I didn't) hits me with brass knuckles in the lower left brow. I literally saw a 'spark', but stayed on my feet. I promptly did something stupid...I snapped the blade out and grabbed the driver by the throat with my left hand and held my blade to his throat with my right, backed him up to his trunk and said that this could get really ugly, but I would rather it didn't and asked if he'd call off his buddy.

He did. I put my shit away and realized my face was wet. the driver said "aw shit, nigga, you split that bitch". Then he quickly squared up and started to come at me with his fists. I was an amateur boxer for 2-3 years. I am outta shape now, but I know my way around a ring a bit. So, we threw a few test jabs, all while I feel blood literally running down my face. Hmmm. I let him throw a few, which I mostly blocked 2 and he missed with the last. After he threw the 3rd punch, he was wide open, and I went in with a Left jab to the cheek, right handed body shot into a right hook. He fell dead on his ass.

His girl started smaking the hell out of the back of my head, and while moving away from her, I promptly slipped on some gravel and damn-near did the splits. Surprisingly, the passenger grabbed her and held her at bay. The driver got up and STILL wanted to fight.

I told him again, it ain't what i want, let's just end this.

'Naw, bitch, you split all up'.

So, we boxed a bit for a minute or so. He had no gas, and I could see he got winded. We started wrestling, on gravel no less, until I heard his girl calling 911.

Jesus. Not the cops. Almost, she was calling an ambulance. We both promptly let go and backed off of each other. We started yelling at her to hang the fuck up, as we'll all just end up in jail. It was pretty much over then. My neighbors started coming out yelling at the dudes to chill the fuck out. When the attention switched to thise 3, I slipped down to my house to scare the shit out of my girlfriend with my best impersonation of (http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/massive-head-wound-harry/278803/) Massive Head Wound Harry.

Thankfully, some butterfly bandages kept me from stitches. Some Vitamin E and Neosporin should hopefully keep the scarring down to a minimum.

Moral of the story? Just ignore dumbass behaviour. People are a lot more likely to be violent about little shit than they used to be. At my age, I don't need this shit. I am not 20 years old anymore, and it isn't cute showing up to work with bandaged heads. Plus, I actually feel bad for beating him just as bad. I am just over the chest beating, testoserone laden, conflicts. No one wins, and society becomes the unwilling 'loser'.



http://img147.imageshack.us/img147/968/picture10r.jpg

Ostriig on 22/9/2009 at 16:59

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Feck. Sorry it to hear it man. Rest assured that with that sort of attitude, cocksucker's bound to get bumfucked sooner or later.

Curious, though, why did you send the dog off? Was it a small dog? Or can you still face charges for setting the dog on them even if they jump you?

Rezorrand on 22/9/2009 at 17:38

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Whoa, quite a story there. Also, I read from some science magazine recently that Americans pack this "aggressive gene" in their gene pool (as did some European countries too if I recall correctly) which causes above normal flipping out at times. Glad you made out in one piece.

Sulphur on 22/9/2009 at 18:02

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Well, fuck. That's just raw. Glad you showed 'em what for, man, those bastards deserved it. That shit sounds unreal, were they doped up or something?

Anyhow, glad you made it out in one piece. Cut looks nasty, but it'll heal up. Another war story to tell 'round the table. And this is 100% fact, scars make you look a hundred times sexier to the ladies. Now that you got another one, make the most of it! :D

I agree with you about ignoring dumbassery, but not at the expense of your own well-being. I know it's wrong to say this, but good thing you whupped the fucker's ass, all said and done.

Sgt_BFG on 22/9/2009 at 18:48

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Good to know you have a strong pimp-hand.