Queue on 6/7/2010 at 14:59
So this is the very last time I will go traipsing off with glee to the movie theater. I took the family to see The Last Airbender—a film we all have been waiting for anxiously.
...what a piece of shit.
If M. Knight made this film for his kids (because they're all supposedly huge fans of the Nickelodeon series—though somehow he couldn't even direct the actors to pronounce the main character's names correctly) then he must surely hate the little bastards. The only people that will like this film are those who have finally lost all sense of dignity and taste and have told themselves that they are going to like whatever is thrown at them, even if they really have to work at it, because they love munching on fucking overpriced popcorn that much. Dialog and a sensible plot be damned, as long as it looks great and the filmmakers pander to 3D.
Thus the problem. From the previews played before hand, the vast majority of films are being made just to appease those that go "Oooooo" at special effects and 3D instead of any real depth, conflict, or story (thank you Avatar...not this one, the other one with the blue fuckers); the rest being awful kids movies with recycled fart and pee-pee jokes; or films for vapid tweens who want to be bitten by some monster so they can stay young and beautiful forever; or yet another chick-flick trying to rip off Love Actually (you know, those movies that cater to the lowest audience of all...women who mostly watch Oprah and have some bizarre obsession with finding Prince Charming, even if only in their dreams).
When Avatar hit it big, I came to the conclusion that 2D films would become the art films of our time. It's like when color really started to infiltrate films—excluding Gone With The Wind—color was the gimmick to pack audiences into the seats, but black and white was for the more artistic or dramatic films. But today, the "artistic and dramatic" films barely make an appearance in the theater, and the majority of 2D films are just bad chick-flicks. Face it, who wants to see Sarah Jessica Parker's nose in glorious 3D?
So I'm at the point that this is the last time I'll step foot into a movie theater—which is a personal shame since I was the person who did the majority of auditorium retrofits (screens and portholes) for 3D here in Michigan. At the time, I thought 3D could be something special, a new tool used to advance the story, but it's become an even worse gimmick than it was in the 50s and 60s.
The movie theater experience is dead to me since the films being shown are so mind-numbingly bad. Even when the occasional "good film" comes along (like Toy Story 3...I was in tears at the end, it was so good), it's simply not worth it as the price of a day at the theater is astronomical.
I'm anxious to see Inception and the final Harry Potter films, all of which should be seen on the big screen, but I'll wait for DVD. I refuse to continue contributing to this folly.
henke on 6/7/2010 at 15:45
So you're giving up on cinema forever just because you watched one shitty movie? If you'd just done some research beforehand to find out if it's worth shelling out the big bucks for this one you would've found that both the (
http://www.metacritic.com/film/titles/lastairbender) critics and the (
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0938283/) moviegoers think that the Last Airbender is a steaming pile of shit.
The AV Club review mentioned that the few 3D scenes in there had only been added to justify a higher ticketprice and that, if you absolutely must see this movie for some reason, you should stick to the 2D version.
Queue on 6/7/2010 at 15:58
No... I'm no longer bothering to go to the cinema because it's too expensive and the upcoming films are yet more nonsense.
Didn't I say this in my rant? DIDN'T I?!
And you're right, henke. I should have looked. But, I became a fanboy.
You guys do know that the "extra" cost because it's so expensive to show a 3D film is bullshit, right? The silver screens are not much more expensive than a white screen (and are honestly nothing more than a white screen spray painted silver), and any digital projector can be converted to show 3D with the installation of a head infront of the lamphouse's lens that projects the 3D image.
...it's not a big deal.
Sulphur on 6/7/2010 at 16:00
Shyamalan's been making ridiculous, hollow clunkers for a while now. Surely you should have done your homework before going for it, Queue, like henke pointed out. I'm looking forward to Inception, but apart from that there isn't anything else beeping on the radar for this year. Surely that isn't cause to give up hope for the entire industry - there are dry spells sometimes after all.
Toy Story 3 was great, but the 3D was pretty meh, to be honest. Avatar is the benchmark right now, and it's going to take a while to unseat it - hell, screw 3D, I just got the Blu-Ray and it's visually incredible even in plain ol' 2D.
Queue on 6/7/2010 at 16:11
You know, Avatar is not really that big of a film, even though it's being billed as the "biggest film of all time".
Check out ticket sales:
The Top 20 movies of all time by tickets sold:
1 "Gone With the Wind" (1939) 202,044,600
2 "Star Wars" (1977) 178,119,600
3 "The Sound of Music" (1965) 142,415,400
4 "E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial" (1982) 141,854,300
5 "The Ten Commandments" (1956) 131,000,000
6 "Titanic" (1997) 128,345,900
7 "Jaws" (1975) 128,078,800
8 "Doctor Zhivago" (1965) 124,135,500
9 "The Exorcist" (1973) 110,568,700
10 "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" (1937) 109,000,000
11 "101 Dalmatians" (1961) 99,917,300
12 "The Empire Strikes Back" (1980) 98,180,600
13 "Ben-Hur" (1959) 98,000,000
14 "Return of the Jedi" (1983) 94,059,400
15 "The Sting" (1973) 89,142,900
16 "Raiders of the Lost Ark" (1981) 88,141,900
17 "Jurassic Park" (1993) 86,205,800
18 "The Graduate" (1967) 85,571,400
19 "Star Wars: Episode I" (1999) 84,825,800
20 "Fantasia" (1941) 83,043,500
Avatar is actually 26th with 76,421,000 tickets sold.
Fantasia from 1941 beats Avatar, and was not on that many screens (nor did it have late night showings).
Sulphur on 6/7/2010 at 16:15
By benchmark, I meant benchmark for 3D. And visual omfg awesomegasms etc. Storywise, it has a strong emotional core but little narrative depth, like most Cameron films.
Ticketwise, it might not have sold as many to as many people, but it raked in lotsa cash (~2 billion USD I think at last count) thanks to the higher ticket prices warranted by 3D.
V. Equinox on 6/7/2010 at 16:27
I simply do not get the appeal of 3D. The first one I saw was Toy Story 3, admittedly, but after the first 5 minutes, I hardly noticed it. Definitely not something that adds to the experience for me.
Aw, fuck. I keep hearing about Last Airbender sucking. Was really looking forward to that. Dammit. DAMN YOU, M.! *shakes a tiny fist at the sky*
Queue on 6/7/2010 at 16:49
:laff:
V.: I saw Toy Story in 2D at Celebration (same place that was showing M. Knight's Last Stand)...and honestly, I don't see how 3D could have made it a more enjoyable experience. I laughed, I cried, I thought... was totally immersed in the
story.
I still had hopes for him, even after
The Happening.
Morte on 6/7/2010 at 17:19
3D is a useless gimmick. The industries are pushing it because it lets them differentiate the cinema experience from watching movies at home, and gives them an excuse to charge more. The thing is, when you get immersed in a movie you forget about it completely, aside from the fact that you're wearing those stupid fucking glasses. I noticed the 3D effects for maybe five minutes in Up, and then completely forgot about them.
It might have a place in lobotomized spectacle movies, but that's it.
