Printer's Devil on 12/6/2007 at 04:06
Quote Posted by Kolya
...imagine if I had died, before making this post...
Okay...wait a minute...hey!
Much better.Dia on 12/6/2007 at 04:12
Quote Posted by Kolya
Dia, I started this thread, not about you or glslvrfan, but about hypocrites. I know what the word means.
For some inexplicable reason I feel that by disrespecting those who've offered sympathy and condolences, those who've taken the time to share similar experiences as a means of support, that you
have disrespected me as well (call me overly sensitive - go figure). I've read other threads posted in this forum by people who are grieving and I have yet to read even one response to those threads that sounded insincere or hypocritical.
So who died and made you God that you feel you have the right to sit in judgement as to the sincerity of fellow members?
Oh well, I guess everyone gets a bug up their ass sometimes.
Today mine's name is Kolya.
Oh - and what Gestalt said, too.
mxleader on 12/6/2007 at 04:17
Kolya, you are quite possibly correct about there being people on the internet that mourn incinserly. Of course I think that *mourning* is the wrong word choice. There might be people that leave condolences for people they have never met in person, but that is okay;it is okay to make others feel better even if you don't know them all that well, it's just a part of living in a social community. Besides, how do you decide which forum members are being fake and which one's are not, and why care? Besides, if you do not like condolence threads skip them and shut your pie hole.
One good thing about the thread you started is that it might just win first prize in a contest for the most pointless thread in history.
Kolya on 12/6/2007 at 04:38
Gestalt, I'm not upset about it. If you read through this thread I think you can see that. There are always worse problems, you could say that in almost every thread here.
And of course I don't have any problem with people caring about each other. What I pointed out were people who don't really care, but churn out some condolences post on a forum, because it's easy to do. And hey, it doesn't hurt right? Is that what people who grieve want? Is it okay, because they won't notice?
If you really have a close relation you might do a phone call or write a letter, it's much more personal after all. If you don't then maybe you shouldn't bother posting a quick "So sorry!". That's my opinion. I don't think it was pointless to say it. In the next thread about a personal loss even the people who think I suck might stop for a second and ponder if their feelings are sincere and how they want to express this. And now I'll shut my pie hole. ;)
fett on 12/6/2007 at 04:54
Well I for one appreciate you showing us the more enlightened path. We've also been having a lot of debates around here about God and politics. Drop by some time and clear those up for us as well if you don't mind. I'm sure we'll all benefit from your higher wisdom.
You've been here since '02? You clearly have no clue what ttlg comchat is about (and possibly online communities in general). If you did, you'd notice that there are certain members who tend NOT to post in the threads you mention, as befits their personalities. The folks who do - as is the case in Dia's thread - have for the most part suffered personal loss or sickness and have also shared it here, which means that they can relate. Those who haven't, usually don't post. Nothing wrong with that, but it is evidence of the fact that the majority who do post aren't just offering platitudes, but are actually sincere. If you knew anything about the regulars here, this would go without saying.
Just curious, can you even name 5 people here by their real names, or list anything personal that's happened in their lives in the last 5 years? It's just difficult to believe that you've been here for that long and don't get it. Do you know that there have been many 'commchat' meets (physically) over the years and people have taken many of these online relationships beyond the keyboard? That some have even gotten married as a progression of their relationship at ttlg? Some of us have spent 20 hour days in chat rooms with each other for years while working on various projects, have spoken on the phone frequently, etc. You presume too much, which is odd since you've been here for some time now.
AR Master on 12/6/2007 at 05:04
.
Strangeblue on 12/6/2007 at 05:16
Offering sympathy isn't false mourning. It is the urge to comfort a fellow human, to be part of a community of humans--even virtual ones--in shared experience. It is deference (respect, not submission). The assumption that no one here really knows anyone well enough to feel anything genuine or offer their respect to them is pretty sad. Is their laughter equally hypocritical? Are their congratulations also? How about anger? Annoyance? Happiness? Should none of us have wished Scots well on his marriage? Or congratulated Paz for his publication? By the apparent Kolya rule of emotional hypocrisy none of those showed proper deference either, since we couldn't possibly know them well enough to wish them well and really mean it. I think I shall not defer to Kolya on this as he hasn't earned my respect, nor does he deserve my submission.
kidmystik101 on 12/6/2007 at 05:20
Not to take sides here, but he (kolya) does have a point. It's kinda like funerals in real life. You don't go to a random funeral of someone you don't know and start being sympathetic about it, do you? For example, Dia's "One year" Thread. Yes, i read it. Yes, it is saddening. I didn't post anything sympathetic. Why? Because i don't know dia and didn't know akabart.
Strangeblue on 12/6/2007 at 05:26
If you've been here a while, you stand a good chance of forming connections with other forum members. They aren't strangers, so your analogy doesn't really hold up. Most of the posters to Dia's thread do "know" Dia and most at least saw posts from akaBart.
kidmystik101 on 12/6/2007 at 05:28
Yes, but if you read kolya's later posts he isn't talking about those with connections to the dead person/widow/other. He's talking about the people who know nothing of the person in question.
