Karaski: What Goes Up... Slavic-Steampunk RPG Unraveling a Plot Onboard an Airship! - by Yakoob
Pyrian on 12/9/2015 at 02:11
Congratulations on making the finals! :cheeky:
I think I would go with #4. I like how it's more "in-world" per se without compromising the message.
heywood on 15/9/2015 at 15:46
Me too. I like #4 the best. It is just descriptive enough and I like the first-persony language.
Thirith on 15/9/2015 at 16:01
Though "... write the grisly conclusion of its final hours in an open-ended, first-person adventure." needs to be rewritten. For one thing, "conclusion" and "final" are a bit of a clunky repetition, for another these don't sit well with "open-ended". You *end* the story. *How* it ends is open, but when I hear "open-ended" I think of something that can go on and on, like Sunless Sea.
Sorry, former Creative Writing teacher. :p
And I wouldn't call the conclusion grisly - there's no violence, no blood, so the word doesn't really fit. Unless I missed the chainsaw and the hidden Doom Mode.
Yakoob on 16/9/2015 at 20:50
Thanks guys, #4 is my favorite too. And good point Thirith, the words are a little repetitive and grisly is not the best choice (I was alluding to
the inevitable crash but need a synnonym). But I always thought in gaming circles "open ended" implies more multiple endings than endless; maybe i should rephrase to avoid confusion tho.
I'm reworking the trailer trying a different approach, would appreciate your thoughts on the rough first cut:
[video=youtube;nYn-1-nmt5I]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYn-1-nmt5I[/video]
Here is an ALT with the wording in the intro "you are in the fulcrum" instead, not sure which one works better: (
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeRr2TrICcs)
This is a first rough and I have a few things I already need to change but will keep them to myself until I get feedback :) One obvious issue tho:
the "was it you" is out of the blue, I want to add "find the saboteur" somewhere before but havent figured out where, dont wanna cram it all in end thoPyrian on 20/10/2015 at 03:27
Did, did, and done! Good luck! :thumb:
Yakoob on 20/10/2015 at 19:19
We are now 40% of the way to top 100 in just 1 day, woo :) Thank You ALL who supported!Hopefully we can keep the momentum going, so please SHARE and TELL YOUR FRIENDS!
Here are some of my favorite comments so far:
Quote Posted by pgkrzywy
I've played beta version and this got me hooked up.
Deus Ex fans - of the stealth and story especially - gonna love this!Quote Posted by Emerald king
it looks like half life 1 and zelda had a baby,then some american weirdo did this anti-terrorist thing with it because they got the license for it!
Quote Posted by Cxsquared
Got to play an earlier version at the 2015 GDC. All the improvements look amazing. Can't wait to play more of it!
Quote Posted by Party_Rhino
It seems like a pretty neat concept and a cohesive art direction. You have polish and presentation to your campaign. Something must be wrong, I thought I was at the steam greenlight voting area?
Oh and a big Thank You to Karla who put up a blurb on us at (
http://justadventure.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=3122) Just Adventure!
Cheers!
- Yakoob
Inline Image:
http://unboundcreations.com/images/karaski/newsletter/dunabe-emblem-200px.png~This Message has been Edited & Approved by Duanbe Curation Office ~Yakoob on 29/10/2015 at 21:28
For the story buffs here, in the next few days I will be blogging about some of the world lore in Karaski so subscribe to the blog :) First up...
PigLick on 2/11/2015 at 08:42
excellent!
