Fafhrd on 18/5/2011 at 02:04
Quote Posted by gunsmoke
That said, my wifey called a lawyer today... :mad: I am upset, though I said nothing to her about this. Jen wants nothing but the ability for her daughter to have me be available. SHE HAS A FAMILY. God, this sucks. We still want her to consider Jason her Dad, and just know that I am biological. I am available, but not a home wrecker. We aren't in need of lawyers and it sucks that my wife went there first thing. I would live in a trashcan if it meant my child was ok. I guess not everyone would, though.
What kind of lawyer did your wife call? Regardless of what you and Jen currently feel on the matter, there are still some things that you'd probably want legally binding about whatever arrangement you come up with. If Jason decides he can't stick it out knowing he's not the father and leaves Jen, do you really want the risk of being on the hook for child support (and potentially 10 years of back child support)? Or even the possibility that Jen could just dump Lena with you and run off somewhere?
gunsmoke on 18/5/2011 at 04:06
No. Fafhrd, I get it. I just think it smacked of poor taste. I understand her nervousness, I just don't condone it. I HATE THAT SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAS TO BE MUCKED UP WITH MONEY. I am just getting scared that a sweet little girl would have to go through litigation.
I also am not sure what kind of lawyer, it wasn't one of the guys we usually call that I met when I was in pre-law so it could be anyone. I assume a family law attorney.
Vasquez on 18/5/2011 at 07:44
Um, I'm not terribly familiar with the laws over there, but why did your wife contact a lawyer? I mean, is she trying to protect her own part of your mutual assets not being used on child support, or what?
Dia on 18/5/2011 at 13:47
Quote Posted by gunsmoke
I HATE THAT SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAS TO BE MUCKED UP WITH MONEY. I am just getting scared that a sweet little girl would have to go through litigation.
I don't mean to burst your happiness bubble gunsmoke, but there are realities of your situation that just might require a good lawyer. First of all,
why, after all these years, did your ex decide to do a paternity test? That question should nag more than a bit. As Lena's biological father, you will by law be required to pay child support; that's pretty much a given. I don't know your ex, but I wouldn't be surprised if sometime during the next few conversations you have with her (the ex), the subject of child support comes up. Fortunately, Lena won't be directly involved in any legal proceedings regarding support, unless her parents openly discuss the matter in front of her, which is not something that should be condoned. The child has nothing to do with a support issue between her parents and should
not be involved in any discussions of same. So your worries of Lena having to be dragged into court can be put to rest. Even in cases of custody disputes, the child is not dragged into court: a child representative (aka guardian ad litem) is assigned to speak for and represent the child in court.
Don't be so hard on your wife: if she contacted a lawyer to find out what her and your rights & financial obligations are in this matter, then she's to be commended for looking out for your best interests. I know it sucks, but money may well
be the main reason your ex went & had a paternity test done ten years after the child was born. There's absolutely nothing wrong with your wife contacting a lawyer in order to find out how to protect herself and the man she loves in the event of future litigation initiated by your ex.
All of the above is assuming your wife contacted a lawyer who handles child support cases, of course.
Matthew on 18/5/2011 at 14:12
I'm pretty sure Gunny mentioned that he and Lena's mother are meeting specifically to work things like that out anyway, Dia. It's not like it's going to be sprung on him unawares in some other conversation.
LesserFollies on 18/5/2011 at 18:12
It will all work out in the end, after the legal details are settled and people's feelings of hurt and jealousy (quite natural) subside. As Dia said, the important thing is for everyone to concentrate on the girl's best interests and shield her from the unpleasant side of things as much as possible. This is such a wonderful thing: she now has one more person in her life to love and care for her. :) That's the heart of the matter. Good luck to you all!
gunsmoke on 19/5/2011 at 02:10
Quote Posted by Matthew
I'm pretty sure Gunny mentioned that he and Lena's mother are meeting specifically to work things like that out anyway, Dia. It's not like it's going to be sprung on him unawares in some other conversation.
She specifically said when we met tonight: "I don't want a thin dime, ever. She has everything she needs and this is not about $". She even asked me not to start buying her a bunch of crap so she doesn't get spoiled.
She just wants me to be biological dad.
Tocky on 19/5/2011 at 04:37
Except you are already thinking about all the crap you can buy her.
Dia on 19/5/2011 at 13:48
Quote Posted by gunsmoke
She specifically said when we met tonight: "I don't want a thin dime, ever. She has everything she needs and this is not about $". She even asked me not to start buying her a bunch of crap so she doesn't get spoiled.
She just wants me to be biological dad.
That's admirable and I sincerely hope your ex's attitude stays this way. Really. It's just that one of my family members had to retain a lawyer because his ex said the same thing 3 yrs. ago, but recently changed her mind and is now demanding child support. Things change, sometimes not for the better. I truly hope everything continues to work out well for you and your family, gs.
