If this is it, please let me know... ***UPDATE 2.0*** - by fett
fett on 5/3/2010 at 18:08
I've posted the update on the last page so as not to confuse anyone reading this thread for the first time. Not sure what the etiquette is here...)
This is the thread I never wanted to start, though I'm happier to burn out than fade away.
I've been bitching and moaning about my health problems in here for some time. I have HCM, a genetic heart disease that's pretty rare, making treatment and care a real trick sometimes. I've had major medication problems lately (both with availability and side effects), and my health has quite frankly sucked even worse than usual as of late.
The short of it is that my heart echo came back with an "anamoly" last week, meaning there's a shadow on the left side that could be anything from an actual shadow to a tumor, to an enlarged vein, etc. Monday they'll be sticking a camera down my throat to get a better looksee. This could end in a sigh of relief, or open heart surgery.
Either way, the next few weeks are sure to be interesting. What worries me more than what they might find, is being put under for the scope on Monday. The last time I went under anesthetic, I died. Yeah, you read that right. They barely got me back. My blood pressure is crazy low, so anesthetic is not my friend. But this has to be done because you can't just leave a big freaking spot on your heart and not know what it is, eh?
I don't have a deadman switch set up to send a message to my online haunts in the case of my deminse - because I don't belong anywhere except ttlg. This has been my home for ten years now. This was the first place I posted pictures of my kids. It was the first place I came out of the closet about losing my religion. I spent 5 years in the Thief community helping to build T2X. I fucking love this place. You new kids listen up - don't ever take it for granted. What Dan and Saam have built here is amazing. GBM, MsLedd, David and the rest have kept it what it is for a long time - don't fuck it up. You old farts know what I mean. 'Nuff said.
In case we don't speak on this plane again, let me say it has been my complete priveledge and honor to cross to paths with such fine humans as yourselves. Dia and BA have been like sisters to me. I love Stitch's wicked sense of humor, Scots' brain, RBJ's teddy-bear-wrapped-in-an-asshole persona. Queue, Tocky, and jtr7 have lent support on some really bad days. MrDuck's ambush shags and 'Noid's general awesomeness (I know you're lurking, you turd). Blackman's elderly wisdom and frustration with the world at large. I could go on, but you get the idea. It's comfortable here, and it's been here when so many other familiar things in my life fell away. Value what you have here, it's more than some stupid online forum, for better or worse.
I'll hopefully post an update on Tuesday, with good news. If not, I'm sure you'll hear from my wife. Either way, I'm determined that one or the other of us will be at the next ttlg meet. If things go ill, I'll be sure to tell fluke everyone says hello.
And now my friends, I turn to face the void. So long, and thanks for all the fish.
UPDATE: I'm alive! They used minimal anesthetic, but I'm pretty stoned. No mass - the spot was another part of the heart that's become enlarged. This means that my meds aren't working very well - probably the reason for the water retention and other problems I've been having. I'll be planning a trip to Tufts in Boston to confer with the specialist to come up with a plan to replace the meds - this should be tough because there's not much out there.
I haven't read the posts here yet, but I will after getting some sleep. I notice three pages which are either filled with well-wishes or good riddances. :) Promise I'll read them when I get up.
Ulukai on 5/3/2010 at 18:11
I'm not a particularly sentimental person.
So let me say this: Don't die you fecker :mad:
AR Master on 5/3/2010 at 18:15
not in it voted 1
SlyFoxx on 5/3/2010 at 18:16
Best of luck to you fett.:(
Turtle on 5/3/2010 at 18:20
So you're just going to waltz in here and get Huey Lewis & the News stuck in my head and then go off and die?
That seems fitting.
Just kidding. Try not to die.
theBlackman on 5/3/2010 at 18:49
As schmaltzie as it may sound. I would find the world a much more dismal place without you.
I empathize with you and your family, and I fully understand the situation.
My wife of many many years left to explore the universe the 20th of Feb.
She too had a shadow on her scan plot in late January, . We (she and I) went through the same thing you and your family are facing now.
The unknown, the hopes, the fears. Bless you and I truly hope it is a minor blip on the radar screen of life.
Dusty
R Soul on 5/3/2010 at 18:50
Good luck fett.
qolelis on 5/3/2010 at 18:51
This seems like a good a time as ever to get sentimental and make my first post in CommChat. I'm just another nickname to most, but I can't help but feel something for the people at TTLG - and even if I don't know you well enough to get up close and personal, it gets to me to read about your predicament. I can only reach out and send you my earnest wish that things turn out for the better.
Stitch on 5/3/2010 at 18:57
Fucking hell, man. You better nail this one out of the park and then REPORT BACK IN IMMEDIATELY :mad:
the things this thread is doing to me
Muzman on 5/3/2010 at 18:59
Starting now is probably not such a good idea, but once you're t'other side of this particular visit to the abyss you gotta do some tremendous series of blog posts or book or something all about the drift away from church and all its asides. That's a tale worth telling.
It's a great thing to know you, in whatever slight manner that I have over the years, for the record.
I expect you'll be back though. In keeping with the eighties theme, remember the advice of Poltergeist and don't go into the light (angelic voices and new age music aren't your thing so we're probably ok there).
