aguywhoplaysthief on 5/12/2004 at 08:13
They do if you're Freud, or a psychotherapist who wants to make a living.
Tocky on 5/12/2004 at 09:00
Yes some people really are assholes Virginia. Look, I'm not defending RBJ because he doesn't want or need it and asks no quarter. I respect that. But everyone is responsible for how they treat others, this guy he was talking about included. Business often cannot afford to coddle because the less weight someone else pulls the more the others have to pull. It may seem unfair to that person, hell it may even be unfair sometimes, but it is more unfair to more people to make a business unprofitable and lose everyone thier jobs because of the competative edge lost in pulling dead weight. I tend to take as much of the weight at work as I possibly can but I do resent it when I know the others can do better and they as well as me and my family could profit more. As was said, social skills are important in a business that thrives on social interaction. If this fellow was as handicaped in that regard as it seems then perhaps he should have chosen another profession. An argumentative nature in law is a bonus, an inability or cold disregard for people is not. That should not be hard to understand. What is wrong with kindness for kindness extended in social life? Nothing. Kindness for coldness either, matter of fact, it's damn noble. Not so noble in business sometimes.
Damn you people for making me post something besides lunacy. You have no respect for a good nervous breakdown. Mostly damn you for making it seem as if I'm defending RBJ.
nickie-what if you are saving that guys life and others as well? Hard choice but I would rat in this case. Sorry.
Turtle on 5/12/2004 at 09:45
Wait.
Martin has a firm grasp on the English language and Buggeh's losing me with each and every post?
My whole world's gone topsy-turvy!
Martin Karne on 5/12/2004 at 13:07
Negative I amma meat popsicle.
:thumb:
Rug Burn Junky on 5/12/2004 at 16:46
Quote Posted by buglunch
Ain't broken; and I don't expect it to adapt. :cheeky:
Ball's in yer court.
I'm rubber you're glue.
:p
Pyrian on 5/12/2004 at 18:27
Sounds to me like he saved his company from a bad hire. Better to be honest, in cases like this.
Gingerbread Man on 5/12/2004 at 19:45
If your bosses ask for you opinion on anything, you're a fool if you don't give it. It happens so rarely that a) you have to take the opportunity when it arises, and b) they probably really want to know your honest assessment of something.
Either way, it's stupid to hum and haw and try to find a safe way to say something. Stupider still to just say what you think they want to hear, because sometimes it's a trick to see what you'll do.
And in any event, people who don't speak their minds when asked have some kind of serious problem.
littlek on 5/12/2004 at 19:54
First impressions mean everything and even if this guy were shy but came off as a snob, it does not matter. The firm had doubts and RBJ merely confirmed it. But not being able to stick with a job for more than a year at a time would make me doubt that this guy could work well as part of a team.
scumble on 6/12/2004 at 10:36
Also, it may take a bit of career stagnation for this guy to realise his problem. If not, he's only got himself to blame.
Rug Burn Junky on 6/6/2006 at 00:37
ROUND 2: FIGHT!
Sometimes, history repeats itself, and it’s so much more personal the second time around.
Last month I interviewed at another firm. It’s a fantastic opportunity to position myself long term for my career, as well as an escape from some short term problems at my current firm.
One of the problems is that in the past 18 months, 5 out of 13 people have left our group, with no replacements. One of whom, J, numbers among my very best friends – we’ve known each other since law school, studied for the bar together (ok, well, when I was actually studying), and still talk every day.
Another, who figures prominently into this story, is P. Remarkably, any description of her would mirror the antagonist of my initial post above. She was remarkably full of herself, and outwardly condescending to boot. To say she was socially inept was an understatement.
She started in 2003, and I shared an office with her for over a year. During this time, I watched her backstab almost everyone in our group. Now, mind you, other than a constant low level annoyance by merely being constantly in her presence, she really didn’t do anything directly to me – having witnessed enough quickly, I pulled a number of CYA moves and avoided working with her. But still, I couldn’t stand her. After her first year, I managed to get her switched out of my office. This led to her having her own office for a number of months – mainly because nobody else wanted to share air with her either. It wasn’t long before she got the hint and left for browner pastures: a hellish firm which does more sophisticated work, but has a horrible reputation, both for associate lifestyle and job satisfaction, everyone wants out, even the partners, but, on the plus side, at least it does provide good experience. By all accounts, associates there are generally antisocial, and we figured she’d fit right in.
In the meantime, J, has moved on to a firm which does similar work, but with a fantastic atmosphere. Fast forward a year, I decide to move, and apply to a number of firms, but J’s is at the top of my list. I know what they do, it’s high pressure, but they take good care of their people, and take pains to keep a good environment. I know this, because not only do I still talk to J, but I play cards with two other guys, and know one of the other guys (with whom I interviewed) from deals I had worked on in the past. Before long, I have an offer in hand. It comes with a demotion in position, but as long as I prove myself within 6 months (not something I worry about), I’ll get bumped back up to where I am now, and with their pay scale, I’ll come out even monetarily within a year and a half, with better future prospects to boot. Close to enough for me, but I’m still negotiating for a better position.
What’s the catch?
Well, if you followed this far, I think you can see where this is going. P interviews there as well. Having been doing that sort of work already, she’d come in senior to me. There is no way I can allow this to happen. Even if I am shooting my future in the foot, I can’t swallow my pride on that one, and am ready to walk, just on the mere prospect of it. Then they hit me with a curveball. They won’t guarantee me my current position, but they’ll give me a signing bonus: a nice fat check, first day I walk in the door. It works out so that I’ll make as much money over the next six months as I would have otherwise, but the risk is on me to prove I deserve to keep making that much. They made it worth my while AND challenged me, and if there’s one thing I don’t shy away from, it’s betting on myself. I can’t walk away now, possibility of being junior to her be damned. So I suck it up, accept, and keep my fingers crossed.
This is where it gets fun. Weeks go by. I gave notice, and hear nothing else about other new hires there (As you can guess, I’m fairly plugged in to the grapevine). Then, the scary moment comes – word filters to me that P is leaving her current firm, Friday being her last day, which is soon confirmed. “What if…?” The thought is too terrible to bear.
I quickly hit my sources at both firms, some direct, some indirect, and get the low down. She’s not the one who gave notice at her current firm: Let’s just say that she didn’t fit in there either. Like the other guy, she’s going to her third firm in just under three years, that is: if and when she gets a job. One thing I did confirm: she ain’t landing at my new firm either. Here comes the good part: the reason she was given is that they had already filled the position (bullshit, to be honest, they’re still hiring. ;)). Even better, she already knows that I’ve been hired, so I can’t imagine she didn’t put two and two together and thinks that I stole her job.
Now, last time this sort of thing happened, I really wasn’t emotionally invested. I gave them my opinion not out of spite, but truly as an honest independent judgment of his value to the workplace. This time? I know it’s wrong, but I smile inside knowing that I gave a little bit of payback to someone who had made so many of my friends miserable, and that she more or less thinks its all my fault.
Karma’s a bitch.