Homeless in August... hopefully a short story.

Digital Nightfall on 26/6/2006 at 00:27

Let's see here... (satirical exaggeration and self making-fun-of follows).

It all started when my former roommate Jeff suggested to me, about half a year ago, that he and his pal Ken (his current roommate) were going to move into a new apartment/house because they kept getting robbed, and Jeff asked me if I wanted to come in on it. Yeah, I said, sure, that sounds good.

I have been living for the past few years in student housing. This isn't a dorm, this is an apartment place that sort of dorm-like. I've been paying $430 a month, total, for what is actually a really nice place. Of course, there are downsides. I get to play a game I have dubbed the roommate russian roulette, which means each semester I have no idea who's going to be moving out and moving in. Sometimes things are fine. Sometimes things are awful. At the moment things are fine. They weren't always. There was a time when there were drunken parties with all sorts of drug abuse. Now they fear me, and there are no longer any drunken parties with drug abuse, or any kind of parties at all.

However I don't want to have to put up with instilling a sense of fear in another set of college kids, to let them know that I am the boss of this place, and there won't be any drunken parties with drug abuse on my turf.

So the idea of moving in with Jeff and his friend Ken, both of whom I had no reason to make fear me, as they were both architecture students and know that the apartment is a place of rest and not party, was appealing.

About a month ago, and little progress had been made on their part, so I decided to ask the apartment management here, where I am now, about when the deadline is for renewing my lease.

Oh, it was a few months ago. You see, their idea of good business is, if you don't renew your lease at least five months in advance, they give your apartment to someone else. I had an urge to fight it and have fun telling their manager how to do their job, but I decided hell, I needed to get out of this silly place anyway, so I just told them have a nice day.

Well, fast forward a month or two. I had been pestering Jeff and Ken regularly for updates on the move, since it was their orchestration and I was going to be a tenant in the house they were going to rent, and was getting nothing. Well, an hour ago I get a call from Jeff. The whole deal's off. Ken backed out. Jeff can't do anything because life blew a gasket and he has to move in six months anyway. I am now slated to be homeless in August.

I made a few calls, sent out alot of emails... let's see what happens. Hopefully this will end up being a very short story, but it may take some twists and turns.

Philoctetes on 26/6/2006 at 16:14

No offence but you sound like the housemate from hell.

I'm almost glad I'm visually impaired and living on an island with harpies.

Philoctetes

Fingernail on 26/6/2006 at 16:25

At least you don't have herpes

Rug Burn Junky on 26/6/2006 at 16:48

Quote Posted by Digital Nightfall

There was a time when there were drunken parties with all sorts of drug abuse. Now they fear me, and there are no longer any drunken parties with drug abuse, or any kind of parties at all.

Good for you, because god forbid anyone has any "fun" in college.

Quote:

However I don't want to have to put up with instilling a sense of fear in another set of college kids, to let them know that I am the boss of this place, and there won't be any drunken parties with drug abuse on my turf.

I guarantee that nobody "feared" you. They just think you're a buzzkill and avoided you because it's no fun to party with an uptight nerd around.

/edit: Plus, "telling them how to do their job" is pointless, since you're clearly missing out on a few realities: Considering this is university sponsored housing, they have to have a good sense of available space for incoming students, who generally make their own housing decisions many months in advance.

That said, you've got at least a month to get this squared away. My experience with college towns is that there're always vacancies to be had on short notice, and usually the smaller (2 BR) apartments go later in the year/summer. If you look hard enough, I'm sure you'll be able to find an equally uptight roommate to avoid having fun with for the next year.

Stitch on 26/6/2006 at 17:05

Anxiously awaiting the story turning moment when Digi teaches his roomies a thing or two about responsibility while they manage to convince him to loosen up and get his drink on. Preferrably with a musical montage sequence.

Digital Nightfall on 26/6/2006 at 17:06

Stitch has the right idea. ;)

And I know, Rug Burn. I know.

Edit: I forget sometimes that you guys don't know me as well as I'd like, but my post was meant to be heavily satirical, exaggerated, and to poke fun at myself. Don't take me too seriously.

SD on 26/6/2006 at 17:09

still waiting for the comedy "build one" suggestion itt

Stitch on 26/6/2006 at 17:10

ain't no party like a cosas party cuz a cosas party don't stop

godismygoldfish on 26/6/2006 at 17:20

Quote Posted by Strontium Dog

still waiting for the comedy "build one" suggestion itt

See, now I was going to say:

You should take that architectural learning and build one!

(Out of cardboard boxes :D)

But you ruined it.:mad:

Rug Burn Junky on 26/6/2006 at 17:21

Quote Posted by Digital Nightfall

I forget sometimes that you guys don't know me as well as I'd like, but my post was meant to be heavily satirical, exaggerated, and to poke fun at myself. Don't take me too seriously.

I was picturing the flashback scene in PCU where Jeremy Piven remembers having roomed with David Spade. He's in his room loudly banging some girl, sees Spade wake up and starts yelling for him to go back to sleep while jumping around the room destroying things. Spade responds by cowering in fear and pulls the covers over his head. Then, upon return to present day, Piven says "God, he was a nightmare."

I know you've got other priorities yourself, and that's cool: I wouldn't have wanted to live with drunken freshmen when I was in law school, but I still have to represent wit' tha drunken debauchery crew. That's what college should be about.