Here's a tip. - by aguywhoplaysthief
june gloom on 22/7/2009 at 14:42
well i'm not sleeping at all after that
fett on 23/7/2009 at 02:05
Always drop whateverthefuck you're doing when the 4 year old yells, "Daddy I poo-poo my pants," because he *will* try to fix it himself if you don't hurry up.
Don't feed your kids cheese at every meal. It will come back to haunt your lazy ass.
When you're blending fruit (or penises), make sure to have the top on the blender because those blades fling shit every fucking where. If it's penises, that's going to cause some DNA evidence problems in your future.
Don't let drummers book gigs.
Don't let drummers borrow anything. Like even your pen.
Don't look straight at a guitar neck if you're tightening a string that was the wrong gauge because it was all you had and you've got to finish the gig. You're not going to finish the gig and it will have nothing to do with the string and everything to do with an opthamological surgeon.
Groupies do not make good wives or girlfriends.
PeeperStorm on 23/7/2009 at 08:08
Don't share a home with other members of your band. It's better to have housemates that have working cars and/or rent money.
Before cooking any dish that involves both heat and vinegar, make sure that you have enough windows open to create a crossbreeze. Acetic acid vapor isn't something you want to inhale.
Freezing a penis before blending it helps reduce the amount of splatter if the lid of the blender falls off.
Herr_Garrett on 23/7/2009 at 08:51
If you aren't straight, don't be afraid to become a gay.
Queue on 23/7/2009 at 14:01
Don't come in out of the rain. Unless it's for penis.
Stitch on 23/7/2009 at 15:16
Quote Posted by Fringe
Never listen to writers' advice about writing.
Why not?
Queue on 23/7/2009 at 15:23
Writers tell no tales.
the_grip on 23/7/2009 at 15:25
Oldie but a goodie:
Confucius say that man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with stinky finger.
He also said not to piss into the wind.
