Vasquez on 12/1/2018 at 09:42
I got the impression Tocky didn't mean you, Harvester, but those guys here who don't have Aspergers or something that would make it hard to read the signals.
Quote Posted by Harvester
I actually do have my own slightly clumsy way of flirting, but it's mostly verbal and is something for the long run instead of making a big impression during a single meeting.
Imo verbal is the nicest way :) And if, over time, you find things that make you both laugh, the better - laughing together and having similar sense of humor does world of good to the chances of falling mutually in love, and staying there. The real glue of souls that ass-grabbing can never be.
Starker on 12/1/2018 at 12:07
Quote Posted by Kolya
Either you read a different article or you are trying really hard to misunderstand every point in it.
No, I don't think so. I read it again and it really is terrible. Perhaps, to help put things in context, people may want to read (
https://www.chronicle.com/article/The-MeToo-Movement-Isn-t/242179) this rebuttal piece and (
https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2017/12/19/us/ford-chicago-sexual-harassment.html) this article on the working conditions for women in a Ford factory for a dose of reality. The dialogue really isn't about pearl-clutching women with Victorian sensibilities who can't handle a bit of the good old male attention. It isn't even about men "stealing kisses" from women or making other kinds of awkward sexual advances. It's about sexual abuse and harassment and a lot of the times it's constant persistent harassment and serious abuse that ruins women's lives and careers, not some kind of "harmless Mad Men style of sexism" that people like to laugh off as trivial.
Tocky on 12/1/2018 at 13:44
Harvester I absolutely did not mean you. You showed in your post that if anything you go too far the other way and THAT is exactly the way to be. If anyone is going to err then it should be on the side of prudence and you demonstrated you understand that. You really are a decent person and I think women will respond to that.
LOL. Get me. I'M preaching prudence.
heywood on 12/1/2018 at 18:16
Quote Posted by Kolya
Either you read a different article or you are trying really hard to misunderstand every point in it.
It's like I'm watching people run out of a burning house and you're bitching at the firefighters for getting the house wet.
Kolya on 12/1/2018 at 22:26
I'm more worried that an angry mob amassed, ready to shoot any man in town in hopes of killing the arsonist.
Or I was. Because as much as you think you know about #metoo, you apparently haven't noticed that it's over?
Not unexpectedly an internet outrage that flared up last year has slackened after just a few weeks. Leaving behind not a single legal conviction. But who needs those, right?
The problem that remains is the staggering amount of people who will readily let themselves get pulled into war camps, abandon the law and accept any collateral damage if it befits their worldview.
In true American fashion, all subtlety and reflection was lost.
Tocky on 12/1/2018 at 23:04
No. It isn't over. Women are not going to take demands for sexual favors in the workplace as par for the course as much because of it from now on and good for them. There may be no convictions you can point to but they will speak up more now. That is a good thing. All this rioting in the streets and stoning men with a wild abandon of the law is a mans fantasy (that is purposeful hyperbole so no accusations of straw man please). American or no I suggest we all reflect not on others but ourselves.
heywood on 12/1/2018 at 23:15
Kolya, you may as well be writing in Chinese to me on this topic. I keep reading your words, but after two long threads I still can't comprehend your point of view. Sorry.
Kolya on 12/1/2018 at 23:37
I have a huge problem with ideologies. That about sums it up.
SubJeff on 12/1/2018 at 23:52
I couldn't finish the rebuttal piece. It starts of with "Merkin accuses those of us seeking to be free of sexual harassment of acting" when the Merkin piece does no such thing.
Quote:
It isn't even about men "stealing kisses" from women or making other kinds of awkward sexual advances.
But she didn't say it was.
It's about people doing things which, when examined properly, aren't any form of harassment but which are treated that way anyway.
Take the Franco item I linked to. One woman was paid, as people are sometimes, to act in role with nudity. She signed the contract, did it, got paid and now she's acting like he behaved inappropriately?
Come on. Wake up and smell the coffee.
Starker on 13/1/2018 at 00:33
Quote Posted by Kolya
I have a huge problem with ideologies. That about sums it up.
Since when is speaking out about harassment and sexual abuse an ideology?
